Title: Palliated Author: Envinyatar (aka envinyatar15) Pairing: Remus/Severus Rating: very light R Highlight for Warnings: *AU, established relationship, also: schmoop that still remains on the angsty side* Word Count: 1,778 Summary: Severus Snape was pacing the small room from one wall to the other, the restlessness he was feeling inside growing with each passing second. A lovers' reunion during DH, and maybe a little further than that. Notes: Many heartfelt thanks to snapelike for the quick beta job!
Severus Snape was pacing the small room from one wall to the other, passing the bed without a sideways glance as he turned to stride back the same way. Five steps of his admittedly long legs, and he had arrived at the end of this cell, scowling at the wall as if this expression would make it move.
The scowling didn't help in that regard, and neither did it help with bringing forth the person Severus was waiting for. He kept straining his ears for any sign of arrival - an alert of the magical shields he'd put up, or, failing those, a creaking floorboard, footsteps on the stairs, anything. Severus had faith in his expected visitor's abilities to sidestep Severus' alert system, which couldn't be said if any unexpected visitors were to arrive - they wouldn't know his work. His wand in a tight grip, Severus gritted his teeth and stopped pacing, the restlessness he was feeling inside growing with each passing second. His muscles were tense, every cell waiting for just the slightest impulse to finally act.
Ten minutes past the time, and the clock was still ticking.
His expression remaining grim, Severus turned and sat down on the foot-end of the bed, facing the door. Minutes went by like this, stretching into eternity, until - finally - sound reached him. Perking his ears, Severus could discern faint footsteps on the stairwell, coming closer.
Severus got up and glided towards the door, his wand pointed to where he would first lay eyes on the person on the other side. His hand rested on the doorknob, ready to turn it.
The footsteps were still approaching, growing louder with every small distance they covered. There was no mistaking the carefulness with which each foot was placed, as quietly as possible, but the house was old and the wooden floorboards transported sound well. Tap, tap, steadily, one stair at a time. Then the feet's sounds changed, becoming less hollow; Severus knew the person was walking down the hallway at long last.
He waited.
The person sped up to hurry down the hallway, causing Severus to tense even further. One step and another, and the feet came to a stop directly in front of the door behind which Severus stood, ready.
Knock, knock, knock-knock-knock, knock-knock. Severus relaxed slightly as he recognised the rhythm, then he turned the doorknob and opened the door to peer outside. Laying eyes on the man on the other side, he fully opened the door and hastily motioned for the man to step inside. "Where you followed?" Severus asked him even as he checked both sides of the hallway, before pulling the door shut behind him.
Finally Severus turned to face the other man, squarely meeting his gaze.
"No, Severus, I wasn't," the blond man replied to the earlier question, question carefully neutral and voice level. Severus knew what it meant: that he asked the question too often and that the reply was always the same. Have you no faith? But, truth be told, Severus wasn't a man of faith. Faith wasn't what helped him survive; paranoia and constantly checking what was going on behind his back, on the other side, was what had brought him this far.
"Lupin -"
"Yes, yes, I know," Lupin said. Raking a hand through his hair, he averted his gaze and turned to face the bed.
Exhaling, Severus stepped forward until he almost brushed Lupin's back with his chest, his ribcage feeling constricted as he wordlessly asked where Lupin stood. Severus pushed, and Lupin pulled. It had always been like this, and it was no different now. Instead of stepping away, Lupin leaned back, causing Severus to stand still for a minute, allowing joy to surge through him before his arms came up to envelop the other man.
"Hoping to get lucky?" Lupin whispered.
"Maybe," Severus smiled wryly as he looked at the bed. "But not now."
Lupin turned in Severus' arms, an answering smile gracing his features. "What then?"
Just like that, the bubble of happiness surrounding them burst. The silence stretched around them, filling the room with tension. Lupin seemed to understand.
"What do you need me to do?" Lupin asked, his voice soft as he fully turned around in Severus' arms. Severus didn't speak for a moment, the feeling of a constriction around his chest growing. He watched Lupin watch him in return, saw how determination entered the other man's eyes in answer to the grim expression he knew had returned to his own face. "Severus?"
"I need you to stop infiltrating the werewolves."
"What?" Lupin twisted out of Severus' grasp, taking a step back to stare at him. Severus let him go. "I can't just -"
"Fenrir suspects you. He has been to the Dark Lord to share his information."
That shut up Lupin for good. They kept staring at one another for what felt like an eternity, Severus willing the other man to understand; it just was too risky. But Lupin, Severus ought to have known, wasn't that easily convinced, his Gryffindor stubbornness too integral a part of his personality when it came to matters of right and wrong. At least something he'd learnt since their schooldays, Severus thought, his eyes hardening.
"And how much are you risking by telling me? Half the Death Eaters suspect you of treachery."
Severus saw the challenge in Lupin's words for what it was: a sign of his worry and helpless hatred of the situation they found themselves in. Lupin had already lost nearly everyone he loved to this war, and now he was on the verge of losing Severus, too. Anger bubbled up in Severus' veins, as much caused by his own fears as by something else altogether. "I have shown my allegiance, Lupin, never forget that," Severus answered icily. "As have you. How is your wife?"
Lupin paled at that. "I didn't -"
"What, mean to marry her? Impregnate her? Come now, you can do better."
Slowly but surely an answering glint appeared in Lupin's eyes, and it was what Severus had been waiting for. "You were the one to kill Albus, I know that. Do you know how long it took me to find that goddamn letter you'd left me? As soon as I did I contacted you. I'd thought you'd used me, Severus!"
"So you turned to the first willing body that was thrown at you."
"How was I to know?" whispered Lupin, the fight going out of him again. He fell back onto the bed, his shoulders slumped. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry."
Severus closed his eyes, willing his anger to abate. It wasn't the time now - their trust in one another had always been fragile even at the best of times. He couldn't use that against Lupin, since he deserved worse; he still couldn't believe that Lupin had returned to him after all Severus had done. Remembering their first meeting after Albus - remembering the shouting that had taken place between them, the bitterness clogging his throat as he'd learnt of Lupin and Tonks' marriage - remembering how in the end Lupin had thrown himself at Severus and kissed the life out of him, pure anger and frustration - helped Severus calm down.
Opening his eyes again, he crouched down in front of Lupin. "I'm sorry, too," he murmured, his hand reaching for Lupin's chin to lift it up, be able to look the other man in the face. Searching Lupin's gaze, Severus repeated himself. "I'm sorry."
Lupin remained still for another moment before he reached out and pulled Severus to him, a desperate sound escaping his throat as their lips met. The kiss quickly intensified. Severus' tongue danced along Lupin's lips, asking for entrance, which was freely given. Desire clawing up within him, Severus half-stood, unwilling to break the kiss, and pushed Lupin back onto the bed, landing on top of him. Lupin laughed, the sound no more than a breath before it was extinguished by Severus' lips again.
Their love-making that day was hurried but intense. Severus held Lupin's eyes as his hand brought him to orgasm. It didn't take more than the ghost of Lupin's mouth on Severus' hard cock to make him come, as well.
They dressed in silence, touching but not looking. Lupin hadn't argued his case again, which Severus knew could only mean he'd agreed. Besides, Severus had not-so-subtly reminded him he had a wife and, soon, a child to take of. It should be enough.
Only when Lupin had already opened the door did he turn around to Severus, who held his wand in hand.
"Promise me you'll get through," Lupin said by way of parting, his eyes speaking a million words.
Severus only nodded, his mouth suddenly dry. He would, if it was what Lupin needed from him.
*~*~*
Severus emerged from battle weak and scarred. To nurse himself back to health he fled to a small hut in the woods he'd inherited from the Muggle side of the family, a well-guarded secret that only one other person knew of.
For three months Severus was alone. He worried what was taking Lupin so long; they hadn't seen each other in a year. Severus knew the Lupin had made it, but, despite Severus' offer to join him and the depth of their connection, he didn't know what Lupin would decide. Lupin had a son to care for, after all.
A mild afternoon in late August found Severus working in the garden - something he'd found occupied his mind well enough, while also strengthening his body without straining it too much - as he felt the tingle of his magical alarms going off.
Straightening and drawing himself up to his full length, he waited for his visitor to arrive, anticipation spreading in his gut. Gripping his wand, he waited. When Lupin came into sight, Severus' heart felt like it would explode: the other man was visibly ravaged by the past months, but Severus couldn't care less. Tension drained from his body as he watched the other man approach.
They'd done it. War was over, for good, its unbearable weight taken off their shoulders. Severus could finally feel it in that moment. He began walking, covering the distance that still separated him from Lupin and meeting him halfway. They came to a stop directly in front of each other, their gazes locked since the moment they first saw each other. Lifting a hand, Lupin smiled. "I am home," he said, caressing Severus' cheek.
Severus didn't nod. He didn't say anything. He just covered Lupin's hand on his cheek and held it there, for all the world looking like he would never let go.