>>> (wordsnotspoken) wrote in reality_dome, @ 2014-03-17 21:04:00 |
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Eran knew he really had nothing to complain about. He hadn't been hurt, hadn't had to heal someone. He'd been drawn to the Keep by the screaming and had, of course, been horrified by the scene there. Having dinner had been a non-issue after that, because he'd had no appetite, and he'd ended up back in his cabin, locked in against the snowy dark outside.
He had his fireplace lit and was huddled on the couch, wrapped in a blanket and holding the kitten, which he still hadn't named, against his chest. It was comforting to feel its breath, to stroke the soft fur and also feel the rumble that was its purr. At least he wasn't as lonely as he could be right now, he thought. Without the comfort of the small fuzzy creature he was holding, he would have felt even worse.
It wasn't as if being lonely was a new thing for Eran. Even after the massive weight loss, he'd still been himself: reticent, occasionally awkward. Sometimes it was hard for him to figure out ways to insinuate himself into a group, and sometimes he didn't try because of past failures. Crazy how he'd thought that losing weight would automatically fix all his problems and make social interactions seamless. Being here, though... it was something entirely different. He didn't have family to turn to when he felt too alone, like he had back home. Family would always be there for you, provide that buffer against the hostile world. Here, he had nothing like that.
It wasn't as if there weren't people he liked here, either, but knowing people, talking to them and liking them wasn't always enough. He hadn't really forged the kind of connection he would have liked with any one person, and he wasn't sure if he would. Others made it look so easy.
Eran sighed, his breath ruffling the kitten's fur; the creature opened one eye to look inquiringly at him. "Yeah, yeah, I know," he murmured. "Quit your whining, right?"
Contented, the little cat settled back down, kneading tiny claws in Eran's shirt. A ghost of a smile flickered across his lips. That was something, at least.