Grover's back with a vengeance. Not only has "Agoraphobia" been updated twice within the last month, but there's a whole NEW crack!fic: "Just a Story." What can I say about this? It's Grover, therefore, it's bad.
Poor Justin - doomed to look like a prepubescent kid:
"You what? You're about nine years old! How can you afford a loft in this building?"
The kid juts out his chin stubbornly. "I'm thirty-five… and how I can afford the apartment is none of your Goddamned business!"
I snort in contempt. "Thirty-five? Riiiight. Uh huh. And I further assume from your answer that Mommy's still paying the bills…?" I'm not sure exactly why I'm baiting this stranger… but what the hell? It's kinda fun…
She is absolutely obsessed with Justin living in a shit hole:
But luckily for me, all Justin does is guffaw, snatch my hand again once the door is open, and pull me into his place. Which, I immediately notice is a total PIT!
"Good lord, Justin! How long have you lived here? How'd it get so… crappy? So fast?"
He snickers. "I've been here… a week…"
At this point, Brian must be tripping on some kind of shit:
"Hmmm?" he hums happily, distracted as he fiddles with HIS keys to open his door.
Who's keys would he be using to get in his own damn apartment?
This is the part of the story that I like to call "You have got to be shitting me":
I drop on top of him, not even caring that my weight might be too much for him; and apparently, it's not. His arms and legs both twist around me. I feel his hard cock against my gut as I simultaneously feel him driving his hole onto my dick. "JUSTIN, STOP!" I pull back, alarmed. "STOP IT!"
Sunshine gazes up at me, startled. "But… Why? I thought you wanted me…"
Feeling safely away from penetrating him, I roll my eyes. "Justin, I *do* want you… but we have to be safe, for Chrissakes!"
The look of total bewilderment he gets would normally make me laugh… but right now, it's downright flabbergasting! And I think that's the first time I've used that word outside of a spelling bee!
"But… you're my first…"
Let's recap - Justin looks like someone in elementary school but is really 35, a virgin, and lives in a complete pig pen. It's amazing Brian could resist him at all, isn't it? At least Brian does have some standards - he did take Justin back to the loft rather than fuck in the garbage heap. This is also where Brian figures out he may have screwed up by calling Justin a freaky virgin and a looser. What a way to kindle romance, eh?
It goes on unfortunately:
I don't think I've invoked the All-Mighty's name so frequently since I was fucking six years old! "Alright, Sunshine… I'm not joking either. This'll hurt a little before it feels better. Are you sure you want this? Are you sure you want ME?"
Okay, now I'm pissed off beyond pissed off: I'm MAD! He *laughs* at me!! ***LAUGHS!!***
Oh, I always love it when people write in all caps and with multiple exclamation marks about as much as I love the whole asterisk thing.
Thank goodness it ends shortly thereafter because I hope someone finally took grover's keyboard away.