Why the Lindsay Hate?
I've seen various discussions of QAF writers being anti-Michael, but far fewer about writers being anti-Lindsay.
Many writers, it seems, blame Lindsay for tricking or manipulating Brian and Justin into canceling their wedding and deciding that Justin should move to New York. They claim that it is Lindsay's fault for one or both of the following reasons.
1. Lindsay is in love with Brian and she wants to keep Brian all to herself. 2. Lindsay had dreams of becoming a famous painter and so she is now trying to live vicariously through Justin.
I completely disagree with both of these interpretations.
First, it is true that Lindsay does love Brian. And, yes, she does have a bit of a fantasy that they could be together as a "normal" heterosexual couple. But I don't believe that Lindsay wishes that she could be with Brian instead of Melanie, if only Brian weren't a gay man. Rather, I think that Lindsay sometimes wishes she could be with a man instead of Melanie, if only sheherself weren't a lesbian.
Many of the characters on QAF--Brian, Justin, Melanie, Emmett, etc.--are fine with the fact that they don't fit into society's definition of normal and are even proud of being different. Lindsay is less comfortable with her lesbian identity. There is a part of her that wishes she could have the standard upper-class WASP life with the princess wedding and parents who wanted to be involved in their grandchildren's lives.
I agree with many other viewers that the absence of any bisexuals in the show is a bit artificial. However, I don't think this necessarily means that Lindsay is actually bisexual. I think that if Lindsay felt like she had a real choice between being with a man or a woman, there is a good possibility that she would have chosen to be with a man. It would have made her life a lot simpler. Her brief affair with Sam Auerbach, however, only reinforces for her the fact that she is, indeed, a lesbian.
I don't see much, if any, evidence in canon of Lindsay's desire to keep Brian and Justin apart. She is often one of the most supportive of their friends of their relationship. If Lindsay contributed to the wedding cancellation and Justin's move, it was not because she wanted to keep Brian all to herself.
Second, Lindsay does encourage Justin to go to New York to pursue his career, but that doesn't mean she is using Justin to get her famous-artist fix. Her concerns about Justin sacrificing his career to be with Brian are perfectly reasonable and normal. It is perfectly normal, and healthy for a 22-year-old to delay getting married while he gets started in his career. I know one couple who lived apart for several years after they finished college because she was in grad school in Chicago and he was in grad school in Michigan. They got married after they were done with their studies and it was clear that they could find jobs in the same city. Their families and friends would have been very concerned if either of them had chosen being together over going to grad school. Both of them needed their degrees for their chosen professions.
Now, it can be argued that Lindsay is incorrect in believing that Justin has to be in New York for his career. However, if Lindsay is wrong, that doesn't mean she is seriously deluded. There appears to be something of an ongoing debate in the art-world right now over whether New York is still the center of the art-world and whether the art-world is still so geographically bound, given the recent advances in communication technologies. I think that it is the writersof the show, who believe that Justin has to be in New York if he wants to be a painter rather than the character of Lindsay. They have Simon Caswell write in Artforum that "New York is waiting to be conquered."
So, it's fine if you disagree with Lindsay that Justin needs to go to New York instead of staying in Pittsburgh and marrying Brian, but there is nothing pathologically wrong with Lindsay for having that opinion
Additional Thoughts added 12-28-2009
I’m adding this in response to the ongoing discussion below. It would seem that yet another reason some fans don’t like Lindsay (and Mel) is because they believe she hurt Brian by taking Gus to Toronto.
To be honest, I’m not sure I even considered this as a reason to hate Lindsay (or Mel). There are a number of reasons why I personally do not agree with their decision to move, but hurting Brian is not one of them.
Yes, Brian is unhappy about Gus leaving, but not because Lindsay and Mel hurt him.
The conversation between Michael and Brian in the comic book store shows us what’s going on with Brian.
Brian gives Michael a number of reasons why he supports Lindsay’s and Mel’s decision to move. He points out that Toronto is an easy flight away. He also says, “He’s with his two moms. They’re back together again, one big happy family.”
He then continues, “So even if it will cause a momentary twinge of regret on the rare occasion when I think of him… I’d say they’re better off.” (not an exact transcription because I don’t have the dvds)
Michael then says, “Yeah, well, you were never much in his life anyway.”
A little while later in a conversation with Justin, Justin says, "You're not your father, and you love your son. Now what's it gonna take for you to admit it? Another bomb?"
I believe these highlighted highlighted statements get at the crux of why Brian later is against the move; Brian feels regretful and guilty for not spending more time with his son before now. He tells Lindsay, “I want another chance. I want him to know who I am. I don’t want him to forget me.”
He’s not angry with Lindsay and Melanie, he’s upset with himself for not being a better father, and he’s scared that he’s going to lose the opportunity to try to be a better father if they move.
It’s not Lindsay’s or Melanie’s responsibility to assuage Brian’s guilty conscience. They’ve given him plenty of opportunities to be involved in Gus’s life all along. Lindsay assures him that they will still give him plenty of opportunities.
If Brian wants to feel better, he needs to make the effort to spend more time with his son. Given his financial resources, it’s not really that much more difficult for him to spend time with Gus in Toronto instead of in Pittsburgh.