xie_xie_xie (![[info]](https://www.insanejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small} xie_xie_xie) wrote in ![[info]](https://www.insanejournal.com/img/community.gif){kind=small} qaf_coffeeclub,@ 2008-04-04 12:24:00 |
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BFF: The Michael/Brian friendship and why hating Michael is hating Brian
This is dedicated toforeverbm.
I freely admit I fell into all sorts of fanon/meta toxicity about Season Five, CowLip, and a few other topics that I now blush and wriggle in shame over.
But never, not once, did I feel or understand the Mikey hate.
This is dedicated to
foreverbm.I freely admit I fell into all sorts of fanon/meta toxicity about Season Five, CowLip, and a few other topics that I now blush and wriggle in shame over.
But never, not once, did I feel or understand the Mikey hate.
This is not to say that from time to time I didn't want to stuff a dirty jock strap in Michael's mouth. I did. Thinking before he spoke was not Michael's strongest characteristic. But to hate him for that would be like hating Brian for refusing to tell Justin he loved him for four years, or for sneering "You were the innocent victim of a love bashing."
It's been said that CowLip believed Michael would be the heart of Queer as Folk, a sort of gay everyman, boy next door, the one everyone would identify with. And I would say that among gay men, they were correct. Michael won at least one poll in the gay media as the favorite character on QAF, and while I'm sure there are individual viewers outside of fandom, including gay men, who didn't care for him, there is no widespread Michael-hate like we see in fandom.
In fandom, it was Brian who became the most compelling and popular character. And in the early days, some fans believed Brian and Michael were OTP. Their equivalents in QAF-UK were sort of presented that way, and in the beginning of Season One, there were some scenes that seemed to play with that possibility. I wasn't around, thankfully, for the "shipper wars," but I think that the period when those wars were intense made it easy for many Brian fans and Justin fans to somewhat hate Michael, not because of Michael, but because of their issues with the fans who wanted him to end up with Brian -- which would have been wrong and totally unhealthy and, you know... wrong.
So, since this is Brian Kinney week, here are my feelings on the Brian and Michael friendship.
Michael loved Brian. Brian loved Michael. Michael in many ways shoved his foot in the door of Brian's heart and refused, through a uniquely Michael-ish combination of tenacity, obtuseness, hero-worship, and instinct, to let it close all the way. Just as Brian told Joan in Season Four that Michael survived his upbringing because his mother loved him, so did Brian survive his adolescence because Michael loved him.
A lot of Michael-hate seems to be predicated on the idea that Michael doesn't love or understand Brian enough, or that he's somehow bad for Brian. I agree that they'd have been unbelievably toxic for each other as lovers, but as brothers and best friends, Michael has been not just helpful but essential for Brian.
Others dislike Michael for spurting things out without thinking, often hurtful things, and again, this is often because they feel that Brian deserves better, that Michael was "mean" to Brian in some way. But that's a two way street. Brian and Michael had a very typical brotherly relationship, and didn't throw their friendship out the window just because one or the other said something thoughtless or unkind. (Because hello, have you MET Brian Kinney?)
I would argue that the fact that Michael was oblivious to a lot of the nuances of Brian's psyche is the very thing that enabled him to stay connected to Brian throughout the pre-series and early seasons. But while that loving obtuseness made it possible for Michael to stay close to Brian, it also meant that Michael demonstrated a strange mixture of "getting" Brian and some whopping big misconceptions about who Brian was and why he did things. I actually find that really interesting, and seeing the two of them work that out over the years is extremely rewarding to me, even if they don't do it in the direct linear fashion I'd have liked to see, LOL. But when did Brian ever take the shortest route between two points?
I also don't have any more problem with Michael's faults than I do with Brian's or Justin's or anyone else's. Imperfections are the heart and soul of drama. How boring QAF would have been if people hadn't had human flaws and failings! Is anyone on that show perfect? Is anyone on earth perfect? The darkness, the contradictions, the cracks and fissures, are what make characterizations live and breathe.
It was in fact Michael's imperfections that enabled him to be there for Brian so often, although as they matured, clearly, both of them had to grow past that and find new ways of relating. I've never bought the meta that Michael wanted Brian never to change or grow up; I think that comes from keeping Season One, when NEITHER OF THEM wanted to grow up, in your mind and ignoring the growth their relationship, and they as individuals, experienced as the show progressed. For example, Michael calls Brian on his shit over throwing Justin out when Brian had cancer, on his Season Five meltdown that leads to Justin's leaving him, on his support of Stockwell, on a lot of things.
And Brian often really listens to Michael, even though he still ultimately always goes his own way. Take the scene of them in Moosey's in Toronto, when Brian tells Michael that they're queer and don't need the blessing of pederast priests or spineless politicians, and Michael responds yes, but we also deserve to have everything straight people have. Did you see the look on Brian's face? Michael really reached him, and he responded by telling Michael to go for it... and then being MIchael's best man and putting on a wedding reception for Ben and Michael.
Michael also often really listens to Brian. My favorite of the Brian and Michael friendship arcs has to be the Liberty Ride. When Brian tells Michael why he's doing it, Michael listens, understands, stops interfering, and then supports him. It's like a diagram of the perfect friendship.
Something else to consider when examining the phenomenon of Mikey-hate that's based on a sort of protectiveness of Brian is that Brian didn't like it much when people hated Michael. I think that his intervention in the Michael and Justin split in early S3 was partly for Justin, but it was for Michael, too.... "What about Mikey's big dream?" And who can ever forget the scene where he tells Emmett off for being angry at Michael for staying friends with Ted when he gets out of rehab? "Michael is my business."
But the fact that Brian wouldn't like the Mikey hate is not the only reason that I say hating Michael is hating Brian, although it's big part of it. To reject the hard lessons Brian and Michael learned as friends is to ultimately reject and become blind to Brian's personal growth, and I think contributes to much of the poisonous meta about the series' end.
I'm referring to the idea that Michael wanted to freeze Brian in a persona he'd grown beyond, an idea that I think originates in fandom/fanon/meta, and not in the text. It is inconsistent with everything we see between Brian and Michael in late Season Four and the rest of Season Five. From the opening scene of 501, when the confetti is frozen and they talk about the ever-changing kaleidoscope of life and how some things change and some don't, the examination of what is important and what's not, of what should be preserved and what should be changed, is the core message of their relationship and personal growth in that season. Again, they don't move through it linearly; both of them fuck up and backslide and cover old ground. But in the end, they get where they needed to get.
If you listen to Michael's incredible speech in Season Five, after the bombing of Babylon, it's spelled out in terms that simply cannot be misunderstood: That the queer community -- family -- is everyone. Eli and Monty, as well as Brian Kinney. Michael's family, and Brian's. Queer as Folk is based on that message, the triumph of love and connection over not only external evil (Prop 14, Stockwell, the bashing, the bombing of Babylon) but your own flaws (boys to men).
The Brian and Michael friendship is a beautiful and important part of that kaleidoscope of life, that big queer family, and one I love.
It's been said that CowLip believed Michael would be the heart of Queer as Folk, a sort of gay everyman, boy next door, the one everyone would identify with. And I would say that among gay men, they were correct. Michael won at least one poll in the gay media as the favorite character on QAF, and while I'm sure there are individual viewers outside of fandom, including gay men, who didn't care for him, there is no widespread Michael-hate like we see in fandom.
In fandom, it was Brian who became the most compelling and popular character. And in the early days, some fans believed Brian and Michael were OTP. Their equivalents in QAF-UK were sort of presented that way, and in the beginning of Season One, there were some scenes that seemed to play with that possibility. I wasn't around, thankfully, for the "shipper wars," but I think that the period when those wars were intense made it easy for many Brian fans and Justin fans to somewhat hate Michael, not because of Michael, but because of their issues with the fans who wanted him to end up with Brian -- which would have been wrong and totally unhealthy and, you know... wrong.
So, since this is Brian Kinney week, here are my feelings on the Brian and Michael friendship.
Michael loved Brian. Brian loved Michael. Michael in many ways shoved his foot in the door of Brian's heart and refused, through a uniquely Michael-ish combination of tenacity, obtuseness, hero-worship, and instinct, to let it close all the way. Just as Brian told Joan in Season Four that Michael survived his upbringing because his mother loved him, so did Brian survive his adolescence because Michael loved him.
A lot of Michael-hate seems to be predicated on the idea that Michael doesn't love or understand Brian enough, or that he's somehow bad for Brian. I agree that they'd have been unbelievably toxic for each other as lovers, but as brothers and best friends, Michael has been not just helpful but essential for Brian.
Others dislike Michael for spurting things out without thinking, often hurtful things, and again, this is often because they feel that Brian deserves better, that Michael was "mean" to Brian in some way. But that's a two way street. Brian and Michael had a very typical brotherly relationship, and didn't throw their friendship out the window just because one or the other said something thoughtless or unkind. (Because hello, have you MET Brian Kinney?)
I would argue that the fact that Michael was oblivious to a lot of the nuances of Brian's psyche is the very thing that enabled him to stay connected to Brian throughout the pre-series and early seasons. But while that loving obtuseness made it possible for Michael to stay close to Brian, it also meant that Michael demonstrated a strange mixture of "getting" Brian and some whopping big misconceptions about who Brian was and why he did things. I actually find that really interesting, and seeing the two of them work that out over the years is extremely rewarding to me, even if they don't do it in the direct linear fashion I'd have liked to see, LOL. But when did Brian ever take the shortest route between two points?
I also don't have any more problem with Michael's faults than I do with Brian's or Justin's or anyone else's. Imperfections are the heart and soul of drama. How boring QAF would have been if people hadn't had human flaws and failings! Is anyone on that show perfect? Is anyone on earth perfect? The darkness, the contradictions, the cracks and fissures, are what make characterizations live and breathe.
It was in fact Michael's imperfections that enabled him to be there for Brian so often, although as they matured, clearly, both of them had to grow past that and find new ways of relating. I've never bought the meta that Michael wanted Brian never to change or grow up; I think that comes from keeping Season One, when NEITHER OF THEM wanted to grow up, in your mind and ignoring the growth their relationship, and they as individuals, experienced as the show progressed. For example, Michael calls Brian on his shit over throwing Justin out when Brian had cancer, on his Season Five meltdown that leads to Justin's leaving him, on his support of Stockwell, on a lot of things.
And Brian often really listens to Michael, even though he still ultimately always goes his own way. Take the scene of them in Moosey's in Toronto, when Brian tells Michael that they're queer and don't need the blessing of pederast priests or spineless politicians, and Michael responds yes, but we also deserve to have everything straight people have. Did you see the look on Brian's face? Michael really reached him, and he responded by telling Michael to go for it... and then being MIchael's best man and putting on a wedding reception for Ben and Michael.
Michael also often really listens to Brian. My favorite of the Brian and Michael friendship arcs has to be the Liberty Ride. When Brian tells Michael why he's doing it, Michael listens, understands, stops interfering, and then supports him. It's like a diagram of the perfect friendship.
Something else to consider when examining the phenomenon of Mikey-hate that's based on a sort of protectiveness of Brian is that Brian didn't like it much when people hated Michael. I think that his intervention in the Michael and Justin split in early S3 was partly for Justin, but it was for Michael, too.... "What about Mikey's big dream?" And who can ever forget the scene where he tells Emmett off for being angry at Michael for staying friends with Ted when he gets out of rehab? "Michael is my business."
But the fact that Brian wouldn't like the Mikey hate is not the only reason that I say hating Michael is hating Brian, although it's big part of it. To reject the hard lessons Brian and Michael learned as friends is to ultimately reject and become blind to Brian's personal growth, and I think contributes to much of the poisonous meta about the series' end.
I'm referring to the idea that Michael wanted to freeze Brian in a persona he'd grown beyond, an idea that I think originates in fandom/fanon/meta, and not in the text. It is inconsistent with everything we see between Brian and Michael in late Season Four and the rest of Season Five. From the opening scene of 501, when the confetti is frozen and they talk about the ever-changing kaleidoscope of life and how some things change and some don't, the examination of what is important and what's not, of what should be preserved and what should be changed, is the core message of their relationship and personal growth in that season. Again, they don't move through it linearly; both of them fuck up and backslide and cover old ground. But in the end, they get where they needed to get.
If you listen to Michael's incredible speech in Season Five, after the bombing of Babylon, it's spelled out in terms that simply cannot be misunderstood: That the queer community -- family -- is everyone. Eli and Monty, as well as Brian Kinney. Michael's family, and Brian's. Queer as Folk is based on that message, the triumph of love and connection over not only external evil (Prop 14, Stockwell, the bashing, the bombing of Babylon) but your own flaws (boys to men).
The Brian and Michael friendship is a beautiful and important part of that kaleidoscope of life, that big queer family, and one I love.