It wasn’t until 220 that I realized that I loved Brian. (Give me a little credit, though. 201 was the first episode I watched, so it wasn’t like I watched 42 episodes to know that I loved him.)
I have to admit that it was lust at first sight. He was gorgeous and confident, but he was also cruel and brutally honest. His behavior, motives, and values differed from mine. He was politically incorrect, and I was the type of gay rights activist he loved to hate.
I think the fact that I was immediately attached to Justin also didn’t help. I couldn’t understand why Justin wanted to be with such an asshole. I was confounded. 220 is when I realized I loved him, when I knew he was going to lose Justin and I knew he was going to hurt for it. I didn’t want him hurt. Brian actually had feelings, and I knew that I couldn’t wish ill upon him anymore.
Thinking back, I probably had warm, fuzzy feelings for Brian way back in 202, but it wasn’t love to me until 220.