I didn't like Brian Kinney. I thought he was a selfish narcicisstic controlling prick. From the first moment I saw him he immediately made me draw back, my mouth tighten and go...ahhh one of those.
Before every single fangirl kicks me out of fandom please let me state...I met Brian in 504, the foursome scene. Yeah, that one....and when you meet Brian Kinney in the middle of S5 he is a prick.
But then I stopped watching after 507....when I said GO JUSTIN GO JUSTIN, turn around and leave Brian AGAIN...I wanna see it again....it's about time you quit your co-dependent behavior and got your own life...ummmm yeah Brian was icky poo. But I didn't know Brian, at all, and I didn't want to know Brian because of the way he treated Justin. I didn't see his pain, I didn't see his love for others around him, I didn't see how wounded he was or how much he loved Justin yes I did, I just didn't wanna admit it, cause I was still very pissed at the whole 4 weeks vs four years and the whole STD thing and black shirts bull shit...I didn't give a fuck how beautiful his arms and eyes were he was a bastid...
Ahem....yes so when did I fall in love with him. I stopped watching after 507 and decided to go back to the very beginning...a very good place to start...when you sing you begin with Do Ra Me...when you watch Qaf you begin with...OMG what the hell did I just see....101 I wanted to get Justin away from Brian...don't fall for him he will hurt you.
I thawed a little tiny bit with 108 and 109 That's not love it's hate....but I hardened back up again until 118. Forever Young. I had seen Brain with is son, see that he did care for Michael, he truly loved Debbie and he did care for his friends, but it took me a while to trust him. In 115 I knew his pain, understood his heart and watched him cry in Michael's arms.
With Forever Young I knew that he loved Justin for Justin, not just the twink that would not go away, but for what was inside of Justin, what made him tick. He knew that Justin's art was inherent, something from deep within. He also knew Justin loved, loved his parents, loved him. So he went to the boy that would sacrifice his everything, his art and maybe a bit of his soul, to make his parents happy, and told him it was bull shit.
When Brian danced with Justin I knew Brian loved with an unselfish and unconditional love. And I loved him for it.