Xie, I am one of those lurkers who rarely says anything, but I read everything you post. Your words above address my thought almost exactly, but I wanted to add more. They're not good words, but they're mine.
I came extremely late to QaF. Like, last year late. I had heard about it for years, had considered watching it for years, had actually seen a couple of scenes, but didn't realize it until much, much later. I didn't have Showtime, wasn't interested in expending to a new fandom, etc. etc. etc.
So. I was home sick for an extended period of time and decided what the hell. So I downloaded 101. As soon as I saw Brian on the screen, it was lust. About 5 minutes later, it was love. Sarcasm is something that my family does well. I was raised in an atmosphere where love was expressed through many different ways, and sarcasm was one of them. I could see, from the moment I saw him interact with this friends, that I was going to really love Brian Kinney.
My feelings for him grew, even through his cruelty and my personal lack of understanding of his need to trick. Everything that Brian did for Justin, everything he did for Emmett, everything he did for Ted... He loves. He loves so deeply and fully that he cannot acknowledge it to himself for fear that ti might break him.
I thought that Gale Harold did an amazing job of making a distinction between Brian with Justina and Brian with anyone else. The chemistry and genuine caring was so very obvious in every scene.
Brian was a gonner the moment he saw Justin. And I knew that his fragile soul would be dependent on that relationship for the rest of his life. And I am one that believes that the end of the series was not the end of their relationship.
I love Brian because he is a frightened child, trying to be the best man he can without opening himself up for further abuse. He makes everyone around him better, in spite of themselves.