testdog65 (testdog65) wrote in qaf_challenges, @ 2006-09-01 22:41:00 |
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Original poster: _alicesprings
Title: In Which Brian Kinney Dares the World
Written By: knittedshadow
Timeline: Various Seasons
Rating: R
Warnings: Slight reference to child abuse.
Summary: When Brian is ten he’s quiet and lives in a silent household.
Author Notes: Cowlip owns all. Thanks to my lovely beta for all her help during writing, you shall get proper named glory when the anonymous-cahoots are over.
Part One:
I dare you to hate your own child.
When Brian is ten he’s quiet and lives in a silent household. When Brian’s ten his father’s drinking is still hidden behind a locked bedroom door and his mother still smiles. The happiness never reaches her eyes but at least it’s something.
When Brian’s ten he goes to school and says grace at mealtimes. When Brian is ten he still believes there’s someone up there listening and that his parents are there to catch him if he falls.
When Brian is thirteen he yells and the house is silent no longer. His mother’s prayers wail from the bedroom, his father lies passed out on the kitchen floor, and Brian stands in the hallway and yells.
When Brian is thirteen he realizes he has a talent for picking fights, his Mom, his sister, Mikey, anyone he can piss off enough to shout back. And there’s a sick satisfaction in knowing the precise words that will tip people over the edge, their hearts pounding with fury, and Brian makes it his duty to know those words.
His sister is his first target, an easy goal. He’s grown up knowing what makes her hurt and he uses it to full advantage, taunting and teasing until she finally swats at him. And every time he just dances out of her reach, laughing across the kitchen because he knows she’ll never touch him.
Next target, the dicks at school. Brian’s always been an outsider and now he purposely avoids the groups, sitting alone instead, or with Michael in the cafeteria. He gets himself a quick temper too, lashing out at anyone who looks at him twice.
And when it’s a bad day, a day where he has to sleep over at Mikey’s or wear sweaters in a heat-wave so that they won’t see the bruises, on those days Brian prowls the halls at recess, trying to catch someone’s eye, just waiting for a chance to take out his anger on anyone stupid enough to hold his gaze.
If a teacher comes to break up the fight, the plea is always “Kinney started it,” and Brian will laugh breathlessly, hair falling into his eyes as he’s hauled off to the principal’s office, the sharp sound bouncing off the walls so that everyone in the corridor knows that Brian Kinney doesn’t give a fuck.
And Brian Kinney doesn’t give a fuck about his mother either. He knows he’ll never be the perfect son so he sets his sights on being the worst possible one instead. And Brian Kinney always achieves his goals.
Like with his sister, he knows exactly how to hit where it hurts. A pious face, clasped hands in the sitting room, “Dear Lord, make me strong so that I can finally knock out that asshole Kenny James behind the locker room next week.” “Dear Lord, make me pretty ‘cause God knows it’s the only good thing I’ll get from my fucking parents.” “And dear Lord,” he turns to her, eyes like flint, “Make me successful, so that when I leave I never have to set foot in this house again.”
Yes, Brian has learned his words and his delivery is impeccable.
When Brian is thirteen he makes his parents hate him before they can do it of their own accord. He shouts and screams and yells but at least it’s on his terms. And when his father slurs drunken curses at the bottom of the stairs or his mother sneers cold words across the dinner table, Brian laughs and throws them right back because the worst thing you can do is let them see how much you hurt.
When Brian is thirteen he stops saying grace at mealtimes and forgets that your parents are supposed to catch you when you fall. When Brian’s thirteen he learns the only person you can count on is yourself.
When Brian is fourteen he’s quiet again. He adopts a sardonic politeness to his parents which will last him the rest of his life. Smirks and raised eyebrows barely concealing the fury bubbling beneath.
When Brian is fourteen he wears black to school and swaggers down the hallway telling anyone and everyone that his parents are fucking losers, but only Mikey hears his broken whisper, “I wish they were dead.”
When Brian is sixteen his father shoves him hard to the floor and yells “You’re nothing, fucking nothing, a nobody.” And when Brian staggers to his feet, he laughs in his father’s face, the sound forced through a busted lip and broken teeth. When Brian is sixteen he laughs in his father’s face and leaves without looking back.