FEMININITY

Original poster: _alicesprings

Title: Femininity
Written By: elyxer
Timeline: 12 years after show ends
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: Crackfic
Summary: Brian tries to create an ad campaign for women’s products.
Author Notes: I want to thank my beta Emily for all her hard work.
Inspired By Icon:

Brian sat at his desk in his office at Britin. He stared at the brown paper bag expecting something to jump out and attack him at any moment. How the hell did he get himself into this to begin with? Oh, he knew how. It was a combination of his love for beam and his over abundance of male pride. After all, Brian Kinney couldn’t turn down a challenge, especially a challenge that was aimed at undermining the validity of his life’s work.

Brian scrubbed his hand across his face and groaned. His first mistake had been letting Justin talk him into going to that damned convention. His second mistake had been sitting with Cheryl Madison. He knew what a cutthroat bitch she was, obviously that was the reason he liked her. His final and most fatal mistake had been having one too many drinks and then taking everything the bitch had said personally.

He didn’t need this shit in his life right now. He and Justin were together and happy. He’d turned Kinnetik into one of the most sought after ad agencies in the world. Justin was famous not only in his own right as an artist, but also as a web designer and of course he was Brian’s number one artist for his most prestigious clients. Brian glanced over at the trophy case that was full of the various awards he and Justin had won over the years. Had it really been seventeen years?

Yeah, Brian would have to say the years had been good to both of them. At the age of 46, he had realized his dream of not only taking New York by storm, but Los Angeles, Toronto, and London. His lips turned up into a smile as he thought of his little empire. Okay, it wasn’t so little anymore, but he’d finally taken Justin’s advice and cut down on his involvement. These days he checked in with each office on a weekly basis, and had a monthly conference call with all of them to discuss future projects. Yeah, his life was sweet, until the cunt entered into the equation.

Cheryl had droned on and on about how most advertisers targeted men and completely disregarded the female customer. She had statistics proving that women are the one in control of the consumer income, and it was women doing most of the daily purchases. Then, she started in on how no man could market and advertise to a woman, because men could never identify with the female psyche. Then she had committed the sin for which she could never be forgiven. She had taken her dainty little foot and stepped across that big bad line that put her right into Brian Kinney’s domain. Oh yeah, she went there. Not only did she go there, but she road there on a fucking leer jet.

Cheryl, the cunt, stated that no man, not even the great Brian Kinney, could create a convincing ad for simple everyday items that only women used. Maybe it was the alcohol, maybe it was the threat to his abilities, or maybe the fucking cunt had just pissed him off. Whatever the reason, Brian looked her straight in the eye and whispered in his most deadly serious voice, “Bring it on bitch.”

Yep, that had been what had started this fiasco. Now, he had to figure out a way to keep his sanity while attempting to come up with ads that represented his unique and one of a kind touches that had made Kinnetik a force in the advertising world. So, he had exactly thirty days to come up with not just one out of this world ad, but five outstanding ads for five different products. Again he looked at the horrifying brown paper bag sitting on his desk. He knew what was in that bag. It was enough to make any man shudder. Hell, even the strongest, straightest, and most macho man alive the interminable James Bond 007, Sean Connery, would get queasy at the thought of what was in that bag.

How the hell was he supposed to explain this to Justin? That was a can of worms he just didn’t want to open. He could hear the little twink now. “How could you let this happen, Brian? Have you learned nothing over the years? What are you twelve?” The best one of all though, the one that Justin knew would just crawl under his skin and boil, especially after all they had been through over the years. But the blonde would go there. He knew it. He also knew he’d blow a gasket as soon as the words left Justin’s lips. “Brian, could you just once in your fucking life not think with your dick?”

First of all, he hadn’t been thinking with his dick, hell he hadn’t been thinking at all. Second, he hadn’t tricked in years and the twink damn well knew it. Third, even if he had wanted to think with his dick, he had been fucking surrounded by snatch at that convention. He didn’t even have the courtesy to be surrounded by lesbian snatch, it had been complete hetero snatch hell. So, how was he going to tell Justin that it wasn’t a cock he’d put in his mouth, but his foot?

Well, he didn’t actually have to tell Justin until he came up with the ad campaigns. It wasn’t like he needed Justin’s expertise until he was ready to put the ads onto the storyboards. So, he’d just keep this little experiment to himself until he absolutely had to tell his partner. Yeah, he could use the loft. He’d kept it for those times when he worked too late to make the drive out to Britin. Well, that and Justin had a sentimental attachment to the loft. In his mind, it was the first place they’d made love.
Okay, so now he had a plan. He’d take the offensive brown paper bag to the loft tomorrow and begin what would either be the greatest ad campaigns of his life, or the most dismal failure of his career.

A Few Days Later:

Justin sat at the kitchen counter talking on his cell. “Listen Emmett, I have always considered you a very close friend, and I need some advice. You just have to promise me not to tell anyone.”

“Oh Sweetie, I won’t tell a soul. So tell Auntie Em all about it.”

Justin closed his eyes and bit his lip. He finally just blurted out, “Brian is having an affair.”

“What?!”

Justin sighed sadly as he felt the tears tracking down his cheeks. “He’s having an affair.”

“Oh you have to be wrong Sweetie. I mean not now. Years ago, I might have believed it was possible, but not now.”

Justin swallowed a sob and sniffled, “I don’t know what else to think Em. He’s been so edgy and aloof. He’s even stayed at the loft the last two nights, and when I call him on the phone, he’s always busy. It’s like he doesn’t want to see me or talk to me, and I don’t know what is wrong. I mean everything was great till he went to that convention, and he comes home and now this. I’m so scared, Em.”

“Now you listen to me. I’ve known Brian a long time and that man adores you Sweetie. I’m sure there is a very logical explanation for what’s going on. You just wait and see.”

Justin wiped the tears from his eyes and nodded his head like he expected Emmett to be able to see him. “Thanks, Em. I needed to hear that. Okay, I’m going to get my painting finished and get ready for Brian.”

“You do that Sweetie. I’ll talk to you later.”

“Bye Em.”

Justin put his cell on the bar and looked around at the place that had been his home for most of his life. He’d had so many happy times here, and he didn’t know what he’d do if that were over. What was he suppose to do if he found out that Brian was seeing someone else? Well there was no use sitting around here feeling sorry for himself. He’d just go find out what the hell was going on with one Mr. Brian Kinney.

Brian paced back and forth staring at his computer screen. He had to come up with some fantastic ideas and he needed to do it quickly. Where was his inspiration? He couldn’t face Justin because he felt like he was lying to the blonde. He felt guilty for not telling him what was going on. Well, what he needed was to have a drink. Yes, he’d always done his best thinking while a bit intoxicated. Fuck! He didn’t have anything at the loft anymore. No problem, he’d just run out and buy something. He grabbed his wallet and left.

Justin arrived at the loft and let himself inside. He walked through the place quickly finding nothing that would suggest Brian was doing anything out of the ordinary. He had just spotted the brown paper bag when he heard the elevator. Oh no! He couldn’t let Brian find out he’d been checking up on him. He ran up the steps and ducked into the closet. Hopefully he’d be able to slip out without Brian knowing he’d ever been there.

Brian opened the big metal door with a loud grunt and laughed. He was staggering a bit and wondered where his constitution had gone. He used to be able to drink all night and still be able to function, but hell after three strong drinks he was already feeling it. Oh well, he had work to do. He kept his precious bottle of beam clutched tightly in his hand as he swayed toward the cursed brown paper bag. He growled and snatched up the bag and headed for the bathroom.

What had that bitch Cheryl said? A man couldn’t design an ad for a woman because men had no idea what a woman went through or what she felt like. Yeah, she’d babbled some nonsense like that. So, all he needed to do was to feel like a woman. How hard could it be? He looked into the mirror and smirked. He’d felt lots of men in his life, so how damn hard could it be to feel a woman? Okay, that thought almost made him ill.

Brian set the bag down next to the sink and opened his bottle of beam. He took a long swallow and set the bottle at the back of the vanity. He took a deep breath and stated, “What the hell, here goes nothing.” He quickly stripped off his clothes tossing them in the hamper. Might as well be ready to wash the woman off him when he was finished. Damn, he was going to hurl if he kept having these thoughts.

Brian reached into the bag and pulled out the first object, a tube of lipstick. He grimaced and wondered again why the hell women felt the need to plaster war paint all over their faces. He tried to think of the straight couples he’d known over the years. From his experience, women painted themselves up really good until they landed a husband. Then it seemed that the war paint went the way of the Indians, because after a woman had her man, she didn’t bother with so much paint. So, obviously, the purpose of this junk was to mask imperfections. Women used it in the hopes of fooling men. The really sad thing was that it seemed to work. Straight guys must be stupid to fall for shit like that. Well, it was definitely a good thing he was gay.

Brian rolled the lipstick up and looked at it. So, how do you advertise this little tube of war paint? Use our product and it will distract the eye from noticing just how ugly you really are. He snickered and held the tube up like he was holding the flame at the Olympics. Be the woman you wish you were, and catch the guy who’s stupid enough to fall for your shit. Fuck! Oh well, in for a penny, in for a pound. He smeared the lipstick on his lips. Damn, not only was this shit ugly, but it tasted horrible! How the fuck could a woman go around all day with this shit on her lips? How the fuck could a man kiss a mouth that tasted like this shit? Damn, it was a wonder the entire population of males weren’t gay. He’d never been more proud of his sexuality than at that very moment.

Brian slung the disgusting tube of lipstick back into the bag, and rummaged around for the next object. Oh yes, the wonder bra. He truly had no idea why women felt the need to enhance their chests with padded cloth. Did they think the guy wouldn’t figure it out? Were straight men really that gullible? He looked at the thing with a look of revulsion. Well, he had to see what it felt like to be a woman, so here goes nothing. He struggled with the straps and finally got his arms in the bra trying to position it on his chest. He reached behind him attempting to line up the little hooks with the little loops, only he had to stretch the material and he kept losing his grip. It was like a slingshot! He remembered his straight roommate in college bragging about the fact that he could undo a girl’s bra with one hand. Well obviously this damn thing was easier to take off than to put on! Fuck it. Some things were better for a gay man not to know how to do.

Brian looked back in the mirror and groaned. He’d never done anything this stupid in his life, but he was desperate. There was no way he was letting that cunt get away with putting down his abilities. He reached into the bag for the next torture device. Oh great, a pair of panty hose. This had to be the absolute most useless thing a woman could put on her body. What the fuck was this for anyway? He flipped the lid down on the toilet and flopped down. He yanked the hose out of the package and looked at them. These things had to be made out of some space age material. How did they go from being this little bit of cloth to stretching to fit? He had to keep pushing the bra straps back up on his shoulders as he bent to put his foot in the hose. Damn, you had to be an extortionist to get these fuckers on! He wiggled and squirmed around on the toilet seat pulling and yanking on the offending fabric till he finally got both feet into the hose. He stood up and pulled them up to his waist. He felt the material catching in the hairs on his legs. Well, there was no fucking way he was shaving his damn legs, so he’d just have to suffer through this.

Brian took a step forward and felt the material stretch over his cock and pull at his pubic hairs. Why the hell did women put themselves through this fucking torture? Did they think this shit made them sexy? If they wanted his opinion he’d just tell them it made them look stupid. No way could a woman think this shit felt sexy either. It was disgusting. He reached back into the bag and pulled out the heels. This had to be the epitome of the female torture devices. He stood on one leg propping against the sink and put the first shoe on his foot. He then attempted to put the other shoe on and almost fell. How did women and drag queens stand in these damn things, let alone walk in them? He finally got his balance and stood on the heels looking in the mirror. Okay, he looked like shit, felt like shit, and wanted to fucking die. Was this what women felt like all the time?

Brian reached back into the bag and pulled out the last object. He looked at the box of tampons and almost gagged. He opened the box and pulled out one of the disgusting little things. This had to be the grossest thing imaginable. He took off the wrapper and turned the tampon over looking at it closely. He looked back up into the mirror and grimaced. Okay, no fucking way! He loved his job, wanted to prove the cunt wrong, but no fucking way! He slammed the offending object back into the bag and shuddered.

Brian grabbed the side of the sink and stared into the mirror. He had to get inside a woman’s head. He had to think like a woman. He had to figure out what made women tick. Okay, what was it like to be a woman? Well, they cried at stupid emotional dramas. They completely lost their fucking minds once a month and they couldn’t drive worth a damn. He took a deep breath and stated, “I am a woman.” He ran his tongue over the disgusting lipstick and repeated, “I am a woman.”

Justin had silently made his way out of the closet and was about to try and make his exit when he heard Brian’s voice. He turned and walked quietly toward the bathroom and stopped dead in his tracks. He clasped his hand to his mouth to keep the scream of horror from escaping. There stood his partner, the man he’d lived with for most of his life, the man who meant more to him than anything, the love of his life, wearing a pair of red stiletto heels, black fishnet stockings, a red bra, and holy shit, was he wearing make-up?

Justin shook his head in disbelief. This wasn’t right. He had to be dreaming. He pinched his arm and gasped. No, he wasn’t dreaming! What was going on? That’s when he heard it. “I am a woman.” His eyes got twice their size as he slowly backed up almost falling onto the bed. He had to get out of here. He made a hasty retreat toward the door hearing over and over, “I am a woman.”

Justin ran down the stairs like the hounds of hell were on his heels. He slammed through the door to the street gasping for air and trying to stop the tears streaming down his face. His life was over. He’d come to the loft expecting to find out Brian was fucking another man. He’d believed that would be the ultimate betrayal. At this moment, he wished he’d caught Brian fucking a house full of men. Hell, he’d go get them and bring them back to him. What the hell was he going to do? He got into his car and headed back to Britin.

Brian finished off his bottle of beam, slung the offending shoes off his sore feet, ripped the stupid bra off and tossed it. He sat down and started pulling the hose off cursing at the pain as he yanked out his leg hairs. After getting the awful things off, he threw them as far as he could. This was a fucking huge help. He still had no idea what it felt like to be a woman. He knew he’d proven to himself why a person wouldn’t want to be a woman, but that was about all he’d accomplished. He stood up and staggered toward the bed, flopping down and pulling the duvet up. Well, he’d worry about this shit in the morning.

Justin arrived at Britin and was still in shock over what he’d discovered. He knew men had mid-life crises all the time, but for a gay man to suddenly want to become a woman, and at Brian’s age? What had happened? How was he supposed to cope with this? Was he supposed to live with Brian or should he start thinking of him as Brianna? Oh fucking hell! He walked into the kitchen and sat down at the bar. He just couldn’t stop the tears anymore. He didn’t know how to cope with this. He had expected to spend the rest of his life with Brian, but he wasn’t sure if he could deal with Brianna. Holy shit! What if Brian wanted a sex change? What if dressing like a woman wasn’t enough?

Justin sobbed harder. He promised Brian that he’d never leave him again, and he’d meant every word. He never saw himself without Brian, but this was beyond his scope of understanding. Hell, if Brian wanted to be a woman so badly why hadn’t he discussed this with him? Maybe if he’d fucked Brian more this wouldn’t be happening. Maybe he should have been more assertive. He grabbed his cell and dialed Emmett’s number. He needed to talk to someone before he lost his fucking mind.

Emmett answered the phone and all he heard was incoherent sobs and blubbering. “Justin, Sweetie, is that you?” He listened and picked up about every other word that was being said. It sounded like Justin had caught Brian cheating because he was babbling on and on about how his life was over, and how he couldn’t go on without Brian. Well, something would have to be done about this and quickly. “Justin, baby, just go to bed and try to get some sleep. You don’t worry about a thing. Auntie Em, will fix it.”

Justin hung up the phone and staggered toward the bedroom. He decided he was going to sleep in Gus’s room because he couldn’t bring himself to enter the master bedroom. He just couldn’t face it. He crawled into Gus’s bed and cried for the life he’d lost.
Emmett dialed Michael’s number and told him what he’d found out. They discussed what should be done and decided to get the entire gang together at the diner for a family meeting the next morning.

Brian woke up hung over and feeling worse than he’d felt in years. He made his way into the bathroom and almost had a heart attack when he noticed the smeared lipstick on his face. He groaned and got into the shower scrubbing his body trying to get the memory of last night out of his skin. He quickly dressed and headed out to work. He’d drop by the diner for a cup of coffee before heading to the office. He had so much work to do and he was running out of time.

Michael used his key to let himself into the loft when no one answered his knock. He walked around and found nothing seemed to be out of the ordinary. He still couldn’t believe that what Emmett had been saying and he’d decided to talk to Brian in private. Everyone was at the diner trying to decide how to handle this situation, but he knew he needed to hear Brian’s version before he made a hasty decision. He walked toward the bedroom and froze when he saw the bra on the floor. His eyes quickly scanned the bedroom and he found the stockings. Holy shit! Brian just wasn’t having an affair---he was fucking a woman! No wonder Justin was going out of his mind. Poor guy.

Brian entered the diner and barked, “Coffee now, Deb!”

Debbie turned around and glared at Brian. How could he come in here as if nothing had happened after he’d broken poor Sunshine’s heart? She walked over to the counter and leaned really close to him. “If you want coffee, you go home and get your coffee. You don’t go around getting coffee from just anywhere you asshole!” She smacked him hard upside the head and turned around.

Brian rubbed the side of his head and looked at Debbie as if she’d lost her mind. He spotted Emmett and walked over to the booth. “How’s it hanging, Em?

“Oh don’t you dare speak to me you charlatan! I know what you are doing, and what’s worse, Justin knows what you are doing. How could you do that to him? I mean I’ve seen you do some pretty low things, but this just takes the cake! I can’t even stand to be around you right now!” Emmett stood up and flounced out of the diner in a huff.

Brian looked around wondering if the entire world was fucking crazy. Wait. Justin knew what he was doing? Oh fuck! No wonder everyone was pissed. Of course they would all side with their little Sunshine. Of course they would all think he was crazy for trying to defend his honor as an ad man. Well that was just fucking great! He heard the bell over the door ring and looked up to see Mikey. Well thank God for Mikey. He wouldn’t jump to conclusions.

Michael walked straight over to Brian with a look of disgust plastered on his face. He put his hands on his hips and demanded, “Well what the fuck do you have to say for yourself this time?”

Brian was shocked. Well it seemed that even Mikey wanted to think he was crazy for trying to prove a point. Well fuck this! Actually, just fuck em all! He had never been one to explain his actions and he’d be damned if he’d start now. He stood up and brushed past Michael and headed out. He had only one person he needed to make explanations to and that was his blonde. He had a plan. It would be simple to make things right. He’d just tell Justin he wanted to be fucked into the mattress. That always cheered the blonde up. He got in the vette and headed home.

Justin heard the car in the drive and tried to dry his eyes. He hadn’t slept at all and he was no closer to figuring out what to do about this situation. He didn’t know what he was going to say to Brian, but he had to try something.
Brian walked into the living room and saw Justin sitting on the couch. The blonde looked like hell. Brian crossed the room and dropped down next to his partner and gathered the small body in his arms. He patted Justin’s back and held on tightly as the sobs wracked his small frame. What the hell was going on? “Justin, talk to me. What happened?”

Justin just clung tighter to Brian’s body and started talking into his shoulder. “I don’t know what to do. I don’t know how to help you. I’m so scared. Please tell me how to help you.”
Brian felt like shit. Here his partner was stressing because he felt like Brian didn’t want his help. He ran his fingers through the blonde hair he loved so much and whispered, “Don’t worry about it. I meant to tell you, but I wanted to wait till I had things figured out. I already know how you can help me, so don’t worry.”

Justin pulled out of Brian’s arms and looked up at him. “What do you mean you know how I can help?”

“I promise that I’ll tell you everything when I have it figured out in my head. I thought it would be an easy thing, but I’m learning how wrong I was. I just need you to support me in this, because it really is something that I have to do.” Brian felt so much better being able to talk to Justin about this. He didn’t realize how much he missed discussing things with his partner.

Justin saw the sincere look in Brian’s eyes. He felt his heart breaking at hearing it come from Brian’s lips. Well, he had to help Brian. He might not agree with him, but he’d never turn his back on his partner. “I’ll help you any way I can Brian.”

Brian smiled at his partner and pulled him closer capturing those luscious lips in a hungry kiss. He pushed his tongue roughly into Justin’s mouth taking control in his normal fashion. He heard Justin’s moan and pushed his twink back on the sofa. In no time he had them naked and rubbing against one another. It was at this point when he remembered he was supposed to let Justin fuck him, so he whispered, “Fuck me Justin.”

Justin was lost in the sensual haze that always took hold of his mind whenever he was around Brian. When he heard those whispered words, his cock seemed to swell even more. God how he loved to fuck Brian. Wait. Brian never asked to be fucked. It only happened after much begging by him. Oh no, Brian was already starting to change. This couldn’t be happening. “Why did you stop Brian?”

“I just wanted you to fuck me for a change.” Brian kissed his blonde again.

“You never want to be fucked Brian. I mean you never volunteer to be fucked. I mean…I don’t know what the hell I mean,” babbled Justin.

Brian pushed his tongue into his cheek and said, “Things change, I’ve changed. I just need to feel you fucking me into the mattress, so what’s the big deal? Hell, if you don’t’ want to just say so.”

“It’s not that Brian, you know I love fucking you.”

“Well get to it then!”

Justin’s hands were shaking and not from the usual anticipation he felt. No, his hands were shaking because he was wondering if this would be the last time he’d get to fuck Brian. He didn’t know what he was going to do, but he knew he wouldn’t be able to live with Brian as a woman. He honestly had no clue what was going to happen. He’d always support Brian, but there was only so much he could stand.

Justin let his tongue travel over Brian’s cheek and down his neck sucking the skin into his mouth and gripping Brian’s ass with both hands. Maybe he could give Brian a reason to forget all this foolishness. “You love it when I fuck you, don’t you?”

While Brian did indeed love it when Justin fucked him, he’d never told the boy that before. So, it had to be the fact that he was feeling guilty about not being completely honest with his twink when he replied, “Yes, I do love it when you fuck me. I’m not sure I realized how much until now.”

Under different circumstances, those words would have made Justin the happiest man alive, but at the moment, he couldn’t get the picture of Brian in the loft’s bathroom out of his head. He growled, pushed Brian over the arm of the couch, and grabbed a condom and the lube squirting it directly on Brian’s hole, ignoring the man’s surprised yelp as he pushed a finger deep inside.

Brian jumped as he felt the cool liquid touch his hot skin. He moaned as he felt a finger breach his tight ring. He pushed his hips back fucking himself on that finger. His mouth gaped open as he felt Justin pull his fingers free and push the head of his condom clad cock against the slick hole. His breath caught as he felt that hard shaft sliding inside him slowly. He enjoyed the stretching burn and pushed back taking in more.

Justin moaned as he sank into the hot tunnel feeling the muscles tighten around his length. He waited a moment before he started thrusting his hips. He forgot all his troubles as he picked up the pace and thrust harder. Brian’s moans were getting louder with each thrust of Justin’s hips.

Brian felt Justin’s fingers surround his aching cock and fucked against those fingers. Brian pushed back to meet Justin’s thrusts and then lunged forward between the boy’s fingers. He felt the familiar tingle and knew he wouldn’t be able to hold out much longer.

Justin thrust his hips faster and pumped his fist around the hard shaft in his hand. He couldn’t stop the flood of sensations that slammed into his body as he filled the condom deep in Brian’s ass. He heard Brian’s shout before feeling the hot cum covering his fingers.

Justin slowly pulled out and disposed of the condom. It was as if a dam had burst and the flood of tears streaked down his cheeks. This was just all too much for him to process. How was he ever going to live without this?

Brian gathered Justin into his arms and held him tightly. He really did need to let the boy top more. This ridiculous display of emotions was something Brian could live without. “Justin, I want you to do that more often, okay?”

Justin heard Brian’s words and it just added fuel to his raging queen out. On top of everything else, Brian was changing the way he talked. He’d never say anything like that before. Justin ran his hands over Brian’s chest checking to see if he was growing boobs. It sounded like he’d already started taking female hormones.

They showered quickly and climbed into bed. Brian hugged Justin close and tried to calm the boy’s tears. Damn, it was like living with a fucking lesbian at times. Hey, he wondered what Justin would think about his ad campaign. “Justin, I need to ask you something. If you were a woman, what would influence you and the way you shopped?”

Justin just figured Brian was indeed crazy, “How the fuck should I know? I’ve never had to think like a woman before!”

“I know what you mean. I’ve never had to do it before, but it’s important that I think like a woman now.”

Justin just couldn’t handle this right now. “Let’s just go to sleep Brian. We can talk another day.”

Brian was up, dressed, and out of the house before Justin woke up. He went straight to the loft to see if he could work on his project.

Justin heard the phone ringing and ran trying to get to it, but the machine picked up and he heard Michael’s voice saying, “Justin, I just wanted to call and let you know that the entire family is behind you. I went to the loft and I figured out what had happened. I’m sure you were shocked to find out, hell I was shocked to find out. Anyway, I just wanted you to know that we are here for you. Give me a call when you can.”

Later at the Diner:

“So that’s what I saw,” said Justin relaying his visit to the loft.

“Oh no fucking way! I thought he was fucking a woman,” exclaimed Michael.

“Well it does all sound far fetched to me,” said Ted.

“I don’t know, maybe that’s why he’s always been so hard on lesbians and drag queens. I mean maybe it was his way of hiding his inner most desires. You know they say people strike out against what they want the most,” informed Emmett.
“On the bright side, with Brian, I mean Brianna, out of the picture, maybe the rest of us has a shot at the hot guys,” stated Ted.

“Well we have to do something. We have to stop him!” exclaimed Michael.

Justin rubbed the back of his neck. “No, we have to be supportive in whatever he decides.”

Michael looked at Justin like he’d lost his mind. “Are you fucking crazy? He’s your boyfriend! How can you say that? What the hell are you gonna do when you are crawling in bed every night with tits and twat instead of cock and ass?”
“Luckily, he’ll still have his ass,” volunteered Emmett.

The bell on the Diner door rang as Brian breezed in. He walked over to Justin and pulled him up giving him a very passionate kiss. “I’m a genius! I did it! I knew I could do it, and I did! That bitch said I couldn’t do it, well I showed her! I became the best woman I could be!

Justin was a bit shocked at Brian’s outburst, but he wanted to show his support. “I’m glad you are finally coming clean and sharing this with us, Brian.”

“Of course I want to share one of the greatest accomplishments of my life with my friends,” stated Brian.

“So, when is this glorious event going to happen?” asked Justin.

“Next week! I want to show all my friends that no man knows how to be a better woman than Brian Kinney.”

“Oh baby, I’m just so proud of you!” exclaims Emmett clapping his hands excitedly.

“Yeah Bri, we’ll be there for you. Anything we can do to help?” Ted looked at Brian and smiled.

“Are you fucking nuts? Hell, I’m beginning to think they took more than one ball when you had your cancer surgery!” Michael stated angrily.

“What the fuck are you talking about Mikey?” asked Brian.

“What am I talking about? You can’t fucking seriously expect me to be there and watch as you…” Michael choked up and couldn’t go on speaking.

“Of course I want you there Mikey. We’ve always been there for each other. How am I supposed to do this without my best friend present?”

“I’m sorry Brian, I just can’t do it. I love you…always have and always will, well when I get used to the idea, but I just can’t do it, so please don’t ask me to do this.”

“Hell, Mikey, I don’t mean to make you cry. If you don’t wanna be there it’s fine. I mean I’ll have Justin with me.”

Justin looked up at Brian and started crying uncontrollably, “Please Brian don’t ask me to do that. You know I love you and I always will, but please don’t ask me to witness this.”

“What the hell do you people have against my job?”

Emmett looked at Ted. Ted looked at Michael. Michael looked at Justin. Justin stared up at Brian and asked, “Your job?”

“Yes damn it, my fucking job! I thought that my friends and family would be excited and proud for me, but noooooooo. I don’t know why I even fucking bother!”

“Brian, what are you talking about?” asked Justin.

“I’m talking about my next big campaign, what the hell are you talking about?”

“You mean all this time, you’ve been working on an ad campaign?” asked Justin.

“Yes damn it, and it was fucking horrible. I had to get inside the head of women, and that isn’t a pretty place to be, let me tell ya.”

“Boy, I bet it’s not easy,” stated Justin.

“Hell no, and I’ll tell you something that I’ve learned from all this. I’m fucking glad to be a man, and I’m even happier to be gay. Fucking women are crazy!”

Everyone at the table looked at each other and burst out laughing.

Brian looked at them and said, “What is so fucking funny?”

They all shook their heads and said, “Never mind.”