PARTNERS

Original poster: _alicesprings

Title: Partners
Written By: ladybrannon
Timeline: AU after Season 4, Episode 8
Rating: NC-17 (to be safe)
Author Notes: This story is seriously AU after Season 4, Episode 8, after the scene where Brian kicks Justin out of the loft for learning that Justin knows about the cancer. I also want to thank my beta, Alinora. She rocks!
Inspired By Icon:

<><><>



“…My boyfriend has cancer…”



…



Brian pushes Justin out of the loft and slams the door closed.


<><><>



Justin ran his hand through his short, blonde hair and resisted the urge to throw himself at the closed door. Shit. Why did Brian have to be so fucking difficult about everything? He took a few deep, cleansing breaths, but it didn’t dissipate the raw anger that was flowing through his veins. He pulled his cell phone from his pocket and called Brian’s number. He could hear the phone ringing within the loft. It rang and rang. Predictably, Brian did not pick up. Asshole. He flipped the phone closed and took a few more calming breaths. He just needed to calm down. Brian was just overreacting, as usual. He would recognize that Justin was just trying to help and would answer his call tomorrow. Then, they would talk- everything would be fine.



With a small grunt, and resisting the urge to kick the DVD cases, he picked the cases up and began walking down the stairs. When he got to the street, he once again flipped his phone open and this time called Daphne. She picked up on the second ring.



“I thought you were spending the night at Brian’s,” was her greeting. Justin could hear a male voice in the background.



“He threw me out.” Justin retorted.



“What?”



“Yeah,” Justin said, “It’s a long story. Is it all right if I come home tonight? I know I said I would be at Brian’s, but…”



“Justin, this is your place, too. Give me about 20 minutes and the coast will be clear. Are you sure you’re all right?”



“Yeah, I’m fine. Thanks, Daphne, I’ve got a few DVDs that need to be returned; I’ll drop them off and head home.”



“See you in fifteen or so, then?”



“Yeah,” he replied and then hung up.



<><><><><><>



Eighteen minutes later, he walked into the apartment that he and Daphne shared. As he closed the door, Daphne walked out of her bedroom and gave him a searching gaze.



“Sorry for ruining your evening,” he began, but was cut off by Daphne.



“Forget it, Justin. What happened with Brian?” Daphne said as she grabbed his hand, gave it a soothing rub with her thumb, and pulled him to the worn couch.



They sat in silence for a few minutes.



“You going to tell me what happened,” Daphne prompted again.



“I’m not sure I should. You know how private Brian can be about his personal life, and it’s kind of what caused the problem in the first place.”



Daphne gave a half-laugh and said, “Geez, Justin, could you be more vague? I almost caught a clue there.” Justin gave a small chuckle in response and shrugged.



“So, if you aren’t going to tell me, then I’m just going to have to guess. Let’s see, we’re talking about Brian fucking Kinney. So…you found out something he didn’t want you to know?”



Justin nodded in agreement.



“Okay,” she continued, “You found out something he didn’t want you to know. Was it important that you know?”



Justin breathed deeply and nodded in agreement again. “I think so.”



“And, when he found out you knew, he threw you out?”



“On my ass,” Justin confirmed.



“Just like that?”



“Just like that.”



“Ouch. How did he learn that you knew? Did you let something slip?”



Daphne watched in part humor and part concern at the emotions playing across Justin’s face.



“That motherfucker. That lousy motherfucker. It was Michael. After he told me to keep my mouth shut and honor Brian’s wishes, that fucker told him I knew. He’s the only one that knows besides me. I should have known. I should have fucking known.” Justin was now standing up and pacing angrily back and forth in the room as he continued to rant about Michael.



“So, I can assume that Michael is the one that caused most of this mess?” Daphne inquired.



It was enough to stop Justin’s rant. He turned to her, shook his head, and began, “I don’t know. I found out this…thing. And I got a bit jealous that Brian may have told Michael and not me. So, I confronted Michael. When I confronted Michael, I learned that he didn’t know anything about it. We talked about it and he reminded me how Brian Kinney operates. That if he didn’t want us to know, then we shouldn’t tell him we know. It made sense at the time. But, then again, I thought Michael would stick to that. If there’s anyone in Brian’s life that does what Brian wants him to do- it’s Michael. So, I agreed.”



“So, you agreed with Michael?”



“Yes and no. I wanted Brian to tell me on his own terms. And I think he might have, if Michael hadn’t obviously run interference.”



“So, you need to talk to Michael and see what damage was done?”



“Oh, no, I’m not talking to Michael. I’ll just lose my temper. I’ll try to call Brian tomorrow. I’m sure when he’s calmed down, he’ll be more…something. I mean, I know he’s going to be pissed, but I don’t think he really meant that we aren’t partners anymore.”



Daphne’s mouth dropped open. “Wait a minute! He said you weren’t partners anymore? What the fuck is going on, Justin?”



“Yeah, he said we aren’t partners anymore. And when I say that he threw me out of the loft, I mean he literally pushed me.”



Daphne’s eyes opened incredulously. “I can’t imagine Brian touching you in anger.”



“Well, he did. He was beyond angry. He didn’t hurt me, but he was angry.”



“What the hell did you learn, Justin?”



Justin shook his head. “No, I can’t betray his trust again.” After a small pause, he continued, “I’m going to go to bed. I’ll see you in the morning. Thanks for being here, Daphne.”



“Anytime,” she assured him.



<><><>



Sleep for Justin did not come easily, nor did it stay for very long. He tossed and turned most of the night. When the alarm clock on his nightstand sounded, he was already awake. With a silent groan, he threw back his covers and headed to the bathroom.



An hour later, he was walking towards the diner for his morning shift, and hoping that Michael would not be there. He was sorely disappointed.



He walked into the diner to hear Deb loudly talking to Ben, Michael, and Hunter. Deciding to ignore the issue for now until he had talked to Brian, he walked past the table without saying anything and went to grab his apron.



Luckily, by the time he returned, Michael and his brood were gone. With a smile to Debbie, he got to work. He called Brian on his break, and left a message. He repeated the call at lunch. Unfortunately, Michael arrived for lunch. He was able to ignore him for most of lunch, but as he was walking out back to give Brian another call before he left for school- Michael tapped him on the shoulder.



Justin closed the cell phone and glared at Michael. “What the hell do you want?”



“Hey,” Michael said, “I just wanted to ask you about a few of the panels you dropped off last week.”



“Well, you figure it out. You seem to know everything.”



“What the fuck, Justin?”



“Don’t. Just don’t. You told him. You fucking told him.”



Michael took a deep breath and wouldn’t look Justin in the eyes. “I didn’t mean to. It just happened. I got upset and it slipped out.”



Justin snorted and rolled his eyes.



“I really am sorry, Justin,” Michael said, a pleading tone to his voice.



“Be sorry. Be whatever. In fact, fuck off. I’m done.”



“What?”



“He threw me out, Michael. Tossed me on my ass, and you know what I just realized? I just realized that I’m done. Fucking done.”



“You can’t. You can’t, Justin, he needs you. You know how he is. You know Brian. You don’t mean it.”



“I do. He doesn’t need me enough to tell me about something major in his life. Not enough to let me help him. Not enough to treat me with respect. No, he just needs me to fuck, and I’m done being his live action blow up doll.”



“Justin…”



“Nope, I’m done. I’ve had enough. He didn’t kick you out. He didn’t throw you physically out of his loft. He’s all yours. I. AM. DONE!” With that said, he put his cell phone in his pocket, threw his backpack over his shoulder, and walked away.



<><><>



The next few weeks were very slow. Justin’s classes were boring for the first time ever. Daphne tried to keep him entertained, but it wasn’t the same. He and Daphne discussed his decision and she saw his point. He could tell that maybe she didn’t completely agree with him, but she understood his feelings.



He was just finishing his late night shift with Debbie, when the bell above the door rang and Michael walked in. He saw Debbie give him a sideways glance, but he ignored it. He pulled the apron over his head and put it on the wall hanger. Without another thought, he headed to the backroom to collect his backpack and head home.



“I need to talk to you,” Michael said as he opened the door.



“Sorry, I’m on my way out.” Justin started to the door, but was stymied by Michael.



“Justin, please, he’s really sick. The radiation is making him sick. He needs you.”



Justin felt his heart constrict. The last thing he wanted was for Brian to suffer, but it was too late- Brian had been very clear that he didn’t want Justin around. In fact, the voice mail that Brian had left about a week ago on his cell phone only reiterated that Justin was to stay away. The message, because Justin had listened to it at least twenty times, had said, “Stop calling. I don’t fucking want you around. I really don’t know how to make myself clearer- we are through. Fuck off.”



Justin had asked a few questions to Lindsay and Debbie, but they still seemed to be very clueless to Brian’s situation. So, he had played it off, and, luckily, they had bought it. They seemed to be none the wiser.



Justin was brought back to the present by Michael waving his hand in front of Justin’s face.



“Damn it, stop it,” Justin demanded, “I’ve told you, there’s nothing for me to do. He’s made it quite clear he wants nothing to do with me. I got it when he tossed me out. I got it when he ignored me for two weeks, and I got it when he left me a message last week that said for me to fuck off. I get it. Now, if you don’t mind, I have some work to do before I can get to sleep tonight.” That being said, Justin brushed past Michael and walked through the door to leave.



“He moaned your name last night.”



Justin stopped dead. He dropped his head, but didn’t turn around. “I’m sorry, Michael. I can’t. I just can’t. And stop asking me to.” With a strangled gasp, Justin lifted his head and walked away.



<><><>



The next months became even harder for Justin because Brian eventually showed up at the diner. Granted, Brian acting as if Justin didn’t exist made walking away a bit easier, but dealing with Debbie, Emmett, Ted, Lindsey, and Melanie had been a nightmare. He hadn’t wanted to give away Brian’s secret, but it was obvious that he and Brian were at odds about something, and they wanted to know the issue. Justin had managed to keep them at bay, but it hadn’t been easy.



It was with great relief that he had a major project due and needed to take some time off from the diner. He spent the following week pouring all of his emotional upheaval into this latest project. Spending five of the last six nights at his studio on campus, it was with a mixture of relief and trepidation that he cleaned his utensils and prepared to head off for the apartment. Having already dropped his project off at his professor’s office, he was looking forward to a full eight hours of sleep. Of course, that also meant that he had an afternoon shift at the diner, but at least he was done with the project and he could relax until then. He finished packing his backpack, closed it, and headed out of the studio. He got to the bus stop to see the tail lights of the last bus for the evening.



Pulling his cell phone from his backpack, he punched in the apartment’s telephone number and left a message for Daphne that stated he had missed the bus and that he would be home in thirty to forty minutes.



Then, walking down the road, he had a fantastic idea and decided to turn around.



<><><>

Two days later, Daphne was sitting in the apartment with her new beau, Chad.



“So, your roommate is a male?” Chad asked.



“Yep,” Daphne responded with a smirk, “but you needn’t worry. He’s gay. Been in love since our senior year of high school. Frankly, I’m just glad they finally saw the light and made up. Haven’t seen him in two whole days.”



“Does he do that often?” Chad asked, stepping closer to Daphne.



“Mmm-hmmm,” Daphne replied, wrapping her arms around his neck, “They had a major fight, but I knew they’d get over it eventually. They are made for one another. Justin said they were through, but you just don’t get over a connection like that.”



“So, does this mean that we have the place to ourselves?”



“I believe we do…” Daphne responded as her lips touched his. They were into some heavy petting when the phone rang.



“You plan on getting that?” Chad asked as he pulled slightly away.



Daphne sighed and extricated herself from his arms. “Hello…”



“Daphne, let me speak to Justin. It’s important.”



“Michael?” she inquired.



“Yeah, please let me speak to Justin. It’s important…about Rage.”



“Michael, Justin is with Brian.”



“Really? Oh, thank goodness.”



“Yeah, I haven’t seen Justin in two days. You know how they are when they make up…”



Michael laughed, “Yes, I do. Thanks, Daphne!”



<><><>



Michael pushed the button on his phone and waited for a dial tone. Hearing it, he quickly punched in Brian’s number and waited for one of them to pick up. It had, after all, been two days. They probably needed the break.



“Hello!”



“Brian...”



“Mikey, something you wanted?”



“Yeah, I want to talk to Justin.”



“Then, I suggest you actually call Justin.”



“I know he’s there, Brian. Just let me talk to him for a minute. Then, you can return to your make up fucking.”



“Mikey, I haven’t spoken to Justin in months. So, I repeat- if you want to talk to Justin- call Justin.”



“Ha ha. You’re funny, but we know. Now seriously, I need to talk to him about Rage. Put him on the phone.”



“What the fuck do you know? And who is this ‘we’ you’re talking about?”



“Daphne and me. We know that you and Justin are back together. Now, again, let me talk to him. This is important.”



“Why would you and Daphne think that we are back together?”



“Please, none of us, including Daphne, have seen Justin in over two days. And the only reason Justin disappears like that is to make up…that is to fuck you after one of your infamous spats. So, again, please put him on the phone.”



Mikey heard a deep inhalation. “Mikey, I’m fucking serious. I have not fucking seen Justin. The twat is not here. Are you sure no one has seen him?”



“Brian…”



“Mikey,” Brian yelled, “He is not fucking here. Now, are you sure no one has seen him?”



Mikey felt fear grip his stomach and give a nasty twist. “Yeah, I am sure. You really don’t know where Justin is?”



“No, Mikey, I don’t. And I suggest that we hang up from this annoying ass phone call and find someone who knows where the hell Justin is.”



Click. The phone went dead in Mikey’s ear.



<><><>



Brian tried not to let the fear overtake him. Surely someone knew where Justin was. In fact, he was sure that Justin was just avoiding Mikey and that he was safe at home with Daphne, which is why he dialed their apartment number and waited impatiently for the little shit or Daphne, the little shit’s partner in crime, to pick up.



“Hello,” a feminine voice answered.



“Put the little shit on, Daphne.”



“Brian?”



“Yeah. Now put him on the fucking phone.”



“Ummm, Brian, this isn’t funny. I know he’s with you. Oh, and tell Justin he had a package arrive yesterday.”



“No, Daphne, he isn’t with me. Now, put the little twat on the phone. I’m tired of your games.”



“What? What games? He isn’t with you?”



“No, as you damn well know. Stop playing games…”



“There is no game. I thought he was with you. Shit. SHIT! I haven’t seen him in two fucking days. Shit. Oh no.”



“Daphne, are you telling me that you haven’t seen or heard from him in two fucking days!”



“No. Oh, shit. No. He called two nights ago and said that he had missed the bus and that he’d have to walk home. But he sounded distracted. I just figured it had to do with you. When he didn’t show up or answer his phone, I just figured you two had finally got your heads out of your collective asses. Oh, shit. Where the hell can he be?”



“Daphne…”



“Oh, God, I could call his mom, but I just talked to her yesterday afternoon. She would have mentioned if she had seen him. Shit…”



“Daphne…”



“He said he was leaving his studio. Said he missed the bus. I need…”



“Daphne!”



Silence.



“Daphne, are you listening to me?”



“Yes.”



“Good. Have yourself in front of your apartment building in ten minutes. Don’t make me wait. Got it?”



“Ok.”



Click.



<><><>



Daphne slipped into the Corvette as soon as it stopped at the curb. There were no greetings just a terse, “Tell me how to get to the bus stop closest to his studio.”



Eight minutes later, they were parked, out of the car, and walking to the bus stop. Daphne stumbled out of the car and Brian met her on the sidewalk.



“Let’s walk around.” Brian said.



“Shouldn’t we call the authorities?” Daphne inquired, eyebrows arched in a suspiciously Kinney-like way.



Brian got a solemn look on his face, put his tongue in his cheek, and gave a curt nod. Pulling out his cell, he quickly flipped it open and pushed a button. Moments later, he was talking to someone. A few more minutes and he closed his phone.



“Carl says he will be here in ten to fifteen minutes.”



“Deb’s Carl?”



“Yeah, he’s not going to tell anyone else just yet, but he says we did the right thing by calling.”



They sat down on the bus bench to wait for Carl.



<><><>



It was little more than fifteen minutes later when Carl’s late model, unmarked car parked beside Brian’s Corvette. Daphne and Brian met him as he was stepping out of the car.



“Carl,” Brian greeted the cop.



“Brian…” Carl replied with a pointed look at Daphne.



“Sorry,” Brian responded to the look, “This is Daphne Chambers. She’s Justin’s best friend and current roommate.”



“Ms. Chambers…” Carl greeted the girl with an outstretched hand.



Daphne took his hand, “Daphne, please.”



“Daphne,” Carl acknowledged. “When was the last time you saw Justin?”



“Tuesday morning. He was leaving for classes. I had a late start, so I was sleeping in, but he had to wake me up. I had moved one of his books that he needed.”



“And the last time you spoke with him?”



“That night- he called me on his was out of his studio. Said that he had missed the bus, and would walk home; the walk should have taken 20-30 minutes.”



“And you didn’t get suspicious when he didn’t show up?”



“Well, to be honest, I was…ummm…cuddling…with a friend. I didn’t really notice that he hadn’t shown up until well after midnight. And then, I just assumed he had changed his mind and tried to make up with Brian. So, I really didn’t think about it. They are notorious for their…reunions.” Daphne smirked at Brian, but he could see the underlying fear in her eyes.



“You and he were fighting?” Carl turned to Brian.



“We haven’t talked to each other in over two months. I’ve seen him once or twice at the diner, but nothing private.”



Carl nodded and took a look around.



“Do either one of you know exactly where his studio is? We can try recounting his steps and see what that offers us.”



They both nodded; Brian then jerked his head in a leftward motion, and they headed towards the building.



<><><>



As Carl looked around Justin’s studio that the nice janitor let them into, Daphne turned to Brian and asked, “What happened?”



Brian just gave her a piercing glare and said nothing. Daphne, once again, arched her eyebrows and returned a glare. Brian sighed and said, “I threw him out.”



Daphne rolled her eyes, “I know that, fuckhead. What I am asking is WHY?” She gave him another pointed look.



Brian looked away. Daphne was pretty sure he wasn’t going to answer her when he said, “I have cancer.”



Daphne’s jaw dropped, but before she could say anymore, Carl asked them to walk outside with him to the bus stop.



<><><>



Brian could feel Daphne’s gaze on him during the entire walk to the bus stop. He chose to ignore it.



Carl turned to them. “Did he say exactly where he was when he called you?”



“Just that he had missed the bus.”



“And the direction he would take to walk home?”



“This way,” Daphne said, pointing the correct way.



With a nod, Carl began walking down the street; Daphne and Brian following.



<><><>



Thirty minutes later, they were standing outside Daphne and Justin’s apartment building. During the walk, Carl had made a few phone calls. He had contacted the police to make sure no calls concerning a Justin Taylor had been made. And, he made a request for the local hospitals to be called. Brian felt his stomach twist into knots, and he felt Daphne’s gaze on him again. It was like a ray of sunlight that woke you in the morning- annoying.



Ignoring Daphne and Carl as much as he could, he had walked on and kept looking for any sign of Justin. It was just as they reached the steps to walk into Daphne and Justin’s apartment building that Brian saw it- the turquoise blue scarf that Molly had bought Justin for his last birthday. Shit.



Twenty minutes after they arrived at the building, Carl had two squad cars and six policemen on the scene. They were tearing apart the apartment, the apartment building, and a hundred and fifty foot perimeter. It was a total madhouse. Daphne was in tears, Brian was trying to stay stoic, but, after calling Jennifer and Debbie, he wasn’t sure he was going to succeed. And then, there was the other little fact- The scarf had blood on it.



<><><>



Three hours later, they were more frustrated than anything else. The police had no reports concerning a Justin Taylor and, good or bad, no hospital had a Justin Taylor registered. There were two John Doe’s and Carl was currently checking those out. So, they had returned to Brian’s loft and waited.



Brian found himself looking around at his chosen family.



Carl took turns asking everyone questions. Did Justin have any enemies? Had he complained of anyone harassing him? Had he seemed normal leading up to the disappearance? The questions went on and on.



Meanwhile, when they weren’t being asked questions:



Debbie cooked two tuna casseroles and a manicotti. Brian just ignored her. She was in her ‘food fixes everything’ mode.



Jennifer bit off all her nails. Brian had determined that despite the nail thing, she still looked overly WASPish.



Daphne’s face was streaked with tears and her nose was a blistering red. If things weren’t so sober, Brian would have teased her about being Bozo the Clown.



Michael and Ben had arrived fifteen minutes after Deb called them. Ben was offering words of comfort to Jennifer- to no avail, Brian realized, if the new tears were anything to go by.



Michael was helping his mom cook. Brian was tired of waiting and just wanted to piss in their tuna casserole, maybe it would make them leave. Then, he could suffer in silence with a bottle of Beam and a couple of joints. It almost made him laugh. Justin would have rolled his eyes at him for that.



Ted, thank goodness, showed up a little later with a stack of papers that couldn’t wait until tomorrow. Oddly, it was exactly what Brian needed. He sat with Ted and signed his name methodically over and over. It was mind numbing, but needed.



Emmett showed up two hours into the wait. He had finished his latest rounds of social purchases for some big event and had headed right over. He was unusually subdued. Brian had finished signing the paperwork and, with nothing to do again, watched Emmett. He found himself pissed off at Emmett’s lack of…flamboyance. It was like they were all preparing for the worst. Brian stood up to kick them all out when Carl’s phone rang.



Everyone jumped at the sound, and there was a collective gasp. Brian would have laughed at the cartoon nature of it- if he hadn’t been trying to listen to the conversation, but it wasn’t working. Carl didn’t say much, just listened and nodded his head. Mere seconds later, though it felt like hours, he closed his cell phone. Turning around, he looked at Jennifer and then Brian.



“That was the station. I need someone to come with me.”



“Me! I’ll do it.” Jennifer said as she stood up.



“Actually,” Carl began, “I think it might be best if it was Brian.”



‘What? Why?” Jennifer asked.



Carl didn’t say anything, just gave Brian an informative glare with a pleading edge.



Brian felt nauseous. He didn’t like that look at all.



Nodding, he grabbed his leather jacket, put it on, and held the door open for Horvath before anyone could say anything else.



<><><>



Brian needed a cigarette. “Care if I smoke?”



Horvath shrugged and Brian cracked a window before lighting up. The only sounds were Brian’s short puffs of air- in or out. As he flicked the used cigarette out the window, Horvath pulled into a parking spot.



“I was afraid you were bringing me here.” Brian said as he looked at the sign for the County Morgue.



Horvath nodded. “Get this over with?”



Brian nodded. Horvath took care of getting them into the morgue- the paperwork, the badges, everything. They stood in a little room while they waited for one of the employees to get everything ready.



Five minutes later, the employee walked back in and nodded that he was ready. He handed Brian a clear plastic bag. Arching his eyebrows at Horvath, Horvath just told him to take it.



The room was cold. Brian felt colder when he saw the covered body on the table.



“You ready?” Horvath asked.



Brian gave a slight nod and steeled himself.



The employee lifted the cover and Brian could see the blonde hair. His stomach turned. The employee pulled the cover back a foot or so and Brian understood the need for the plastic bag. He emptied his stomach until there wasn’t anything left. Then, he heaved again.



“All right?” Horvath asked with a slight touch to Brian’s back.



Brian curtly nodded and said, “Not him.”



Horvath told the morgue employee that it wasn’t the guy they were looking for and thanked him for his time.



Once they were back in the car, Horvath told Brian that sometimes it was best to just do it and not talk about it. While Brian didn’t answer Carl, he agreed. Only, he knew that wouldn’t work for the people back at his loft.



<><><>



Brian was accosted the minute he walked into the loft.



“What was that all about?”



“Where did you go?”



“Did you find him?”



The questions came at him all at once.



“Horvath got a call that there was a John Doe in the morgue.” Brian said. Jennifer sobbed. Debbie wailed. Emmett gasped and sank into a chair with a hand to his forehead. Ted looked to the floor.



“It wasn’t him.” Brian assured them, his voice getting stronger. “It wasn’t fucking him.”



“Thank fucking God,” Debbie said with a catch in her voice, pulling Jennifer into a hug.



Brian nodded and headed into his bathroom- the only place he could have some fucking privacy.



<><><>



When Brian returned from his little break in the restroom, Horvath had returned. It was a slight reprieve from everyone- they were too busy asking Horvath a million and one questions that they didn’t notice Brian’s return. Well, everyone except Ted. Brian got himself a bottle of water from the refrigerator and sat down beside Ted at the table.



“You ok?” Ted asked quietly.



Brian didn’t answer, just looked at him.



“Right,” Ted backpedaled. “Not ok.”



Brian nodded and played with the cap to his bottle of water.



“Cynthia called. She said that she’s got everything under control and has canceled your meeting with Leo Brown. It’s rescheduled for Monday a week.”



Brian nodded again. He felt a hand on his back. Looking up, he saw Daphne standing there.



“Can we go for a walk?” she asked.



“We better hang here.” He responded.



“Please, Brian, take a walk with me.” Daphne pleaded.



Brian arched an eyebrow and gave her a piercing glare.



“Please,” she begged.



<><><>



Once outside, Brian didn’t skimp on any pleasantries, “What the hell is going on, Daphne?”



She gave him a glare and handed him her phone.



“And what would you like for me to do with this? Shove it up an ass?”



“Stop it, Brian, we aren’t talking about your dick,” she retorted nastily, “Just listen to message seven.”



“Message seven? Haven’t checked our messages in awhile, eh?” Brian put the phone to his ear and listened. “Shit.”



“Exactly.”



“Why the hell didn’t you just give this to Horvath for Christ’s sake,” Brian barked as he flew up the stairs.



“I wanted you to hear it. Duh!” she responded.



<><><>



“Horvath!” Brian called as he pulled open the metal loft door, “You need to listen to this.” He shoved Daphne’s phone into the cop’s hand.



“Who is this?” Horvath asked as he put the phone to his ear.



“Justin,” Brian responded.



<><><>



When Justin walked into his and Daphne’s apartment, he couldn’t believe the scene before him. Deb was there. His mom was there with a face that was a cross between a smile and a glare. Ted and Emmett were there with big smiles on their faces. Michael and Ben were there and looked very relieved.



The fuck?



“Hello?” Justin tentatively spoke.



The barrage began.



“You little shit!” came from Debbie.



“Oh, I am so happy to see you, Justin,” Jennifer spouted, giving him a quick hug.



“Sweetie, so glad to see you,” Emmett offered.



Daphne ran to him and gave him a big hug.



“Good to see you, Justin,” said Ted.



Brian, however, said nothing.



Carl, Debbie’s boyfriend or whatever she called him, stepped forward and shushed the rest of the group.



“Justin?” he inquired.



“Yes.”



“We’re really glad to see you. You had us quite worried.”



“Worried? Why would you have been worried? I called Daphne, and let her know where I was. I just went to visit my aunt to get some pictures for an art project idea. I even said that I would be back today.”



“Yes, we eventually got your message concerning that.”



“Eventually?” Justin inquired with a searching look to Daphne.



“Sorry, Justin, I didn’t check my phone messages until two days after you left. It got lost in a several messages from…Chad. Sorry about that. When you didn’t come home, I just assumed,” Daphne stopped and responded to Justin’s look, “Yes, I know what assuming does. Don’t look at me that way. Anyway, I assumed that you were with Brian- that the two of you had made up. So, I didn’t get concerned until Mikey and Brian figured out that no one knew where you were.”



Ah, thought Justin, that explains Brian’s presence.



“So,” Daphne continued, “Brian came over, contacted Mr. Horvath, and we began a search for you.”



“A search?” Justin inquired.



“Yeah, a search,” Carl told him. “We brought in the cops, called the hospitals, and Brian even had to check out a John Doe.”



Justin’s eyes flew to Brian’s, but they were not showing any emotion.



“A while later, Daphne here re-checked her voice mail and found your message. With all that we had done to find you, we wanted to greet you and make sure you really are all right.”



“I’m fine. Sorry for the confusion,” Justin said.



<><><>



Fifteen minutes later, everyone was out the door with a fond farewell or a hug, except for Daphne and Brian.



Daphne gave Justin a hug and made a hasty exit, which left Brian.



Justin decided he would begin, “So…”



Brian just nodded, and looked him in the eye. Justin found himself looking away from the intensity of the look.



“Since you seem to be all right, I’ll just go.”



“Yeah, I’m just fine, as you can see. Thanks for helping Daphne.”



Brian nods and heads for the door. He stops when he starts to turn the doorknob. “I’m glad you’re ok.”



Justin knew that it took a lot for Brian to tell him that. “Thanks. Are you ok?”



Brian nodded again, turned the door knob, and walked out- leaving Justin with a lot of unanswered questions.



<><><>



Justin didn’t see Brian again for a whole week. Daphne, earlier that evening, had pushed Justin out the door of their apartment and told him not to return until he’d gotten laid. Well, that and she had a hot date with Chad.



So, Justin found himself in Babylon. He’d been dancing with a cute brunette with shimmering blue eyes when the hair on his neck stood up. Brian was here. Sure enough, Michael and Brian were standing at the bar with glasses in their hands. Michael saw him first and gave him a little wave. Brian noticed and raised his glass to him. Justin nodded and returned his attention to the cute boy in front of him.



Twenty minutes later, Justin was getting a pretty decent blowjob when he, once again, felt the hair stand up on his nape. He opened his eyes and found hazel eyes staring at him. The heat of the stare was enough to make him flush.



He was just about to come when Brian walked up and told the trick to get lost. Justin started to say something, but was cut off by Brian taking him into his mouth. All Justin could manage was a groan of pleasure.



Ten seconds later, he was shooting down Brian’s throat. Brian stood back up and leaned in for a kiss, but Justin stymied him.



“No.”



“No? Sunshine, come now, you know you want it.”



“Not denying that, Brian. I’m just sticking to the way you told me you wanted things.” That said, Justin pushed by Brian and walked out of the backroom and drove Daphne’s car home.



<><><>



Justin was drifting off to sleep when he heard a banging on the apartment door. Rolling his eyes, he met Daphne in the hall.



“Brian?” she asked.



“I’d guess,” he responded.



“Better just get it over with, then.” Daphne sagely suggested.



Justin nodded and checked the peephole. It was Brian. He cracked the door and said, “Brian, what do you want?”



Slurring his words, Brian softly said, “You.”



“Brian,” Justin sighed.



“Justin, open the door.”



“Brian, I can’t keep doing this. You want me. You don’t want me. You want me. This isn’t good for you or for me.”



“Please, Justin, open the door.”



With a deep breath, Justin opened the door and motioned for Brian to enter with his hands.



“Daphne,” Brian acknowledged as he walked to Justin’s room.



“Let me know if you need anything,” Daphne whispered to Justin.



Justin nodded and followed Brian into his bedroom. Brian was on his back on Justin’s bed. He had pulled out a cigarette and was lighting it.



“Want one?” he asked Justin. Justin shook his head; Brian inhaled deeply and released.



“You wanted?” Justin prompted.



“I already told you that, Sunshine. I want you.”



“For how long? Long enough to suck your dick?”



“Low blow, Sunshine.”



“Well, you are all about the blows, aren’t you, Brian?” Brian huffed a laugh as he released another puff of smoke. “So, why did you decide to show up at my door half lit in the middle of the night?”



“I told you. I want you.”



Justin laughed, but it wasn’t a good laugh. ”Brian, you tossed me out of your loft. You told me that we weren’t partners anymore. You haven’t spoken to me in months. And now, after all that, you show up, give me a blow job that I didn’t ask for, and then stalk after me.”



“I thought you would respect the stalk.”



Justin shook his head with a half-smile. “Low blow, Brian.”



“Well, it is all about the blow.” They both laughed. “Forgiven?”



“Not even close. I’m tired of being your convenient fuck. I need to know that you want to be with me. Me, not my ass.”



“When have I ever said anything remotely like that?”



“It isn’t the words, Brian. You of all people should know that. It’s in the actions.”



“Care to expound upon that?”



“Sure. You trick for one.”



“Jesus Christ! Are we back to that?”



“We never left it, Brian. You just ignored it. You want everything your way. You want your cake and to eat it, too.”



“I think you missed a few clichés there, Sunshine.”



“Forget it,” Justin said, turning away. “Show yourself out.”



Justin pulled the covers back, got into bed, and faced the wall. Brian didn’t go anywhere and he didn’t say anything for so long Justin was almost asleep when Brian began to finally talk.



“I’m not sure what you want from me.”



Justin huffed and rolled over. “I don’t want anything from you, Brian. I want you. I want to be with you. I want to know that I’m more than a person in your bed, that I matter.”



“Fuck, Justin! How can you say you don’t know that? How? Have I ever lived with anyone else? Invited them to live with me? Have I…”



“An invitation that you withdraw anytime the mood strikes you.”



Silence.



“Touché”



“You don’t see me as an equal, Brian. You see me as someone you have to take care of, that you have to protect. You see me as a convenience. You see me as ‘poor, little Justin,’ but you don’t see me as the man I am. I need you to see that because if you don’t- we can’t work. The reality is that I don’t care about the tricking as long as it isn’t in my face. But what I do care about is that every time I start to get comfortable with you, with us, you pull the rug out from underneath me. I can’t live like that anymore, Brian. I can’t live with the knot in my stomach that won’t go away. The expectations that you will, once again, toss me out on my ass.”



“Justin…” Brian said with a hint of desperation followed by a very loud silence. Brian looked beseechingly at Justin, but Justin simply stared back at him- giving nothing away.



When the silence had become all consuming, Justin responded, “I think we both need to figure out what we want, and go from there.”



“Are you saying it’s over?”



“I’m not sure, but I am saying that we both need to figure out what we want.”



Brian bit his lip and nodded. Without another word, he left.



<><><>



“You ok?” Daphne quietly asked from Justin’s open bedroom door.



“Still not sure,” he sadly answered.



“It’ll work out, Justin. He loves you. You know that.”



“Yeah, I do. I’m just not sure he loves himself enough.” Justin sagaciously responded.



<><><>



Justin returned to his normal routine of work, school, friends, and Babylon. He ran into Brian a few times, and, while uncomfortable, it wasn’t torture. They would nod and acknowledge the other’s presence and then continue on their merry way.



He also saw Brian a few times at the diner, but those weren’t big deals, either. Apparently, Deb had been filled in on the situation and made sure that he wasn’t a waiter for their little gang.



One night, he had dinner with Mel, Lindsey, and Gus. They didn’t ask, so he didn’t offer. It was a nice evening where they shared conversation about his art and some funny stories from Lindsay’s gallery.



Amazingly, he even had dinner with Michael and Ben one night after delivering some Rage drawings. That was, quite frankly, a rather awkward evening, but it ended on a good note and with an invitation for the following week.



All in all, he realized that he was moving on with his life. He would still wake up in the middle of the night, arms searching for Brian, but it was becoming less painful. He could now be the first one to acknowledge Brian when he ran into him somewhere. But, in the end, the longing to have Brian was still there, and he didn’t think it would really ever go away. And that was just a fact.



<><><>



“Later,” Brian called as he left the diner to head to Babylon.



“Later,” Justin echoed.



“Sunshine,” Debbie called, “I’m going to run the register money to the ATM. I’ll be back in 15 minutes. Then, you can head home for the night.”



“Hey! Let me walk with you. You shouldn’t be going by yourself. Kiki can hold down the fort for us. Things have slowed down quite a lot,” Justin responded, grabbing his coat.



“Thanks, but you do realize that I’ve been doing this for almost 30 years by myself,” Debbie responded as she wrapped a multi-colored scarf around her neck. Justin nodded, gave her a half-smile, and held the door open for her.



They talked about all kinds of everyday things: work, art, food, etc. Soon, they were at the ATM and Debbie was depositing the money.



“Put your hands up, you redheaded Bitch!”



And then, everything happened in slow motion. Debbie and Justin turned around and saw a gun pointed at them. Debbie screamed and Justin reacted. The man took aim and Justin jumped in front of Debbie. The force of something knocked him to the ground. He could hear Debbie whispering, but it looked like she was screaming. Why was she screaming? Feeling like he couldn’t breathe, he decided to close his eyes and concentrate on breathing.



<><><>



Debbie was screaming. The guy had run off with the bag of money, but she didn’t care. She had to get help for Justin. She rummaged around in her brightly colored parka, found her cell phone, and called 911. Then, she pulled back Justin’s jacket and realized that he had been shot in the chest. She began adding pressure to the wound while sobbing.



Six minutes later, the first of the emergency personnel showed up. It was a cop that had worked with Carl in the past.



“Debbie?”



“Mark!” Debbie responded, “Please help him!”



Mark nodded and began adding pressure to the wound.



Three minutes after that, an ambulance showed up. Mark pulled Debbie back and radioed for Carl Horvath. The emergency medical technicians took over and began helping Justin.



Four more minutes and Justin was being placed into the ambulance, Carl pulled up, and Debbie realized that she needed to make some calls.



Since she was insistent that she go to the hospital, Carl drove her to the hospital as she used her phone to call Jennifer, Michael, Lindsay, and Brian. Once there, she could answer the questions the police had for her.



<><><>



“Hello?”



“Jennifer, it’s Debbie. Get to Alleghany general as soon as possible. Justin’s been shot!”



“Oh My God! What? He’s been shot? What happened?”



“Just go. I’ll meet you there.”



“I’ll be there in ten minutes.”



<><><>



“Hello?”



“Michael, get to Alleghany Hospital.”



“Ma? What’s wrong?”



“It’s Justin. He’s been shot.”



“WHAT?”



“Just go, Michael.”



“We’ll be there in fifteen minutes.” Debbie could hear Ben talking in the background as she hung up.



<><><>



“Yeah?”



“Lindsay, it’s Debbie. Justin’s been shot. They’re taking him to Alleghany General.”



“Oh my God! What?”



“We’re almost to the hospital and I still need to call Brian. I can explain more at the hospital.”



“Ok. I’ll see if Dusty can keep the kids.”



<><><>



This was the call that Debbie dreaded. Taking a deep breath, she called Brian’s loft.



“This better be fucking good,” Brian said, obviously irritated. Debbie could hear the unmistakable sounds of sex in the background.



“Brian, it’s Debbie. Sunshine’s been shot. They’re taking him to Alleghany General.”



Silence.



“Brian, stop getting your dick sucked and get to Alleghany General. Do you hear me?”



“Yeah. Yeah, I hear you. I’m on my way.” She heard the bed rustling as she hung up.



<><><>



Carl parked the car and Debbie jumped from it. She practically ran to the ER entrance.



“Justin Taylor!” she stated for the ER attendant.



“He’s been taken back to Trauma 1. That’s all I can tell you, ma’am.”



Debbie nodded and walked back to Carl. Mark, the officer, also walked through the door and headed to them.



Carl sat Debbie down in a corner and they began asking her about what happened.



<><><>



Jennifer arrived first. She burst through the sliding doors wanting to know how her son, Justin Taylor, was. The attendant told her the same thing that she had told Debbie.



Debbie waved Jennifer over. Jennifer scrambled over.



“What the hell happened, Debbie?”



“We were held up at the ATM. Justin went with me, so that I wouldn’t have to go by myself. He showed up behind us. Justin jumped in front of me. The guy shot. It hit him. Oh God, it hit him in the chest.” Debbie broke down into tears and Jennifer grabbed her into a hug.



Michael and Ben burst through the doors next.



“Any news?” Ben inquired.



“Not yet,” Carl answered. Ben and Michael nodded and took seats nearby.



Brian came through the doors next. He looked like death warmed over. His face was white and his eyes were as large as saucers. It would have been comical if the reason for it wasn’t so serious.



“Any news?” his voice was rough and thick.



They just shook their heads negatively. Brian nodded and sat a little further away.



Lindsay and Melanie came running through about fifteen minutes later. There was still no word.



Debbie, at that point, remembered that she had forgotten to call Ted and Emmett. She quickly made the calls and told them to get their asses to the hospital.



<><><>



Three hours later, Debbie and Jennifer were about to climb the walls. There was still no word on Justin other than to say that he had been taken to the operating room.



Michael and Ben had ferried about twenty cups of coffee from the closest vending room, Ted and Emmett were talking quietly with Lindsay and Melanie, and Brian still sat to the side, aloof. Debbie and Jennifer were calmly talking to Carl and Mark. All the questions had been answered and an APB had been released for a guy about 6’ 2” with blondish hair and green eyes.



The doctor walked through the door two hours later.



“Mrs. Taylor?” he quietly said.



“I’m Jennifer Taylor.” Jennifer said as she stood up and walked to him. The doctor motioned her over to a more secluded area, but she resisted. “This is Justin’s family. They can know what’s going on.” She waved all of them close to the doctor. Everyone but Brian stood around the doctor. Brian simply moved a few seats closer, but he could hear.



The doctor nodded and began, “He’s made it through surgery, but I’m not going to lie to you, Mrs. Taylor. It’s bad. Luckily, the bullet missed his heart and any vital arteries, but it did hit his lower left lung. He’s on a respirator and we’re hoping that we can deflect any infections until he’s well on the mend. Right now, it’s very touch and go. He’s in ICU and we will be monitoring him very closely. We should be able to know a lot more in the next 24-48 hours.”



Jennifer nodded and asked, “Can I see him?”



“I’d really rather not let anyone see him until we get him a bit more settled. We need to be very careful that he doesn’t contract any infections.”



“Thank you, doctor,” Jennifer responded, obviously upset that her request was denied.



“I’ll have someone come out every hour to update you on his condition. And we’ll let you know as soon as we think it’s safe to let him have a few visitors.” The doctor turned and went back through the automated doors.



Debbie pulled Jennifer into a tight hug. They stood there for a few minutes before Jennifer pulled back and said, “I guess I should call Craig.”



“No!” it was the first thing Brian had said since arriving. All heads turned to look at him. Brian repeated himself, “No.” He then sat back and shook his head. “That motherfucker has no right to know anything about him. Hell, he didn’t even visit him the last time we were here.”



“He’s his father, Brian. Besides, it’s not like you have much to say about the visiting issue, do you?” Debbie said.



“Yes, Debbie, he does,” Jennifer responded. “Brian was here every night the last time. And I know what you mean, Brian, but he is still his father.”



There were several jaws on the floor.



Brian continued as if they weren’t staring at him, “No, he isn’t. He said he wasn’t. That bastard deserves nothing.”



Jennifer nodded and decided to let it go for now. “I think it’s ok if you guys go on home. I’ll keep everyone aware of what’s going on. I know you have jobs and such.”



“I’m not going anywhere until I know that Sunshine will be all right.” Debbie exclaimed. Jennifer nodded. She had expected that.



Lindsay offered to come back after work. Jennifer nodded and said that would be great. Melanie gave her a hug and said she’d drop by tomorrow/today, too. Emmett promised to be back as soon as he caught a few winks. Ted was talking to Brian. Brian nodded and Ted walked to Jennifer.



“I probably won’t be able to make it back today.” He said as he nodded towards Brian, “Please keep me up to date on his recovery.” Jennifer nodded and gave him a brief hug.



“Brian,” she waited for him to turn to her. “You should go home and get some sleep.”



“No.” He turned back to stare at the floor.



Michael walked up and gave her shoulders a squeeze. “He won’t go.”



“I know.” She responded.



“Ben and I will drop by after Hunter gets back from school.”



“Thanks.”



<><><>



It was hours before they allowed anyone to see him, almost noon. Jennifer went back first and came back out looking very ashen. She insisted that Brian go in next. When he left to go in, Jennifer turned to Debbie, “I hope you understand why I insisted that Brian go in.”



“Of course, I do. That boy loves Justin. He needs to know he’s ok, and he will be ok. Don’t worry, I was going to suggest you send Brian in, anyway.” Jennifer smiled a thank you and gave Debbie a brief hug.



<><><>



Brian walked slowly into the room after the nurse warned him that there would be lots of gadgets and that he could only stay for 10 minutes.



He still wasn’t prepared for what he saw. It wasn’t the tubes; it wasn’t the bleeps; and it wasn’t the ventilator. It was how Justin looked. He looked barely alive. The movement of his chest looked fake. He looked fake.



Walking further into the room, Brian tried to control himself. He sat down by the bed and rubbed Justin’s hand. And he thought. Soon, the nurse walked by and said his time was up. Brian nodded and headed back to the waiting room.



<><><>



It was four days before Justin woke up. Brian never left the hospital. Which was why once the doctor confirmed that Justin was awake and Brian stood up to leave, Jennifer grabbed his arm to stop him.



“Do you really want to make that mistake again?” she asked.



Brian gave her a hard glare, but she returned it with one of her own. Brian looked away first.



“I’ll just home and change my clothes. I’ll be back.”



“Not until you see him. You will not do to him what you did last time. And you won’t do it to yourself. See him and then go home.”



Brian nodded.



“Well, go on.” She insisted.



“Shouldn’t you go in first?”



“Probably, but I think seeing you will be more helpful.”



Brian walked into the ICU unit. He couldn’t help but smile when he saw Justin lying there looking around. When Justin’s gaze landed on Brian, his eyes took on a slight twinkle.



“Hey, Sunshine,” Brian said, “Good to see you awake. You scared us all.”



Justin half smiled around the tube in his throat.



“I’d ask how you are doing, but I can see that you are doing better than you were…and I can also see that you can’t talk with that thing in your mouth. So, why don’t I talk…” Brian grabbed Justin’s hand and lightly rubbed, “I was here the whole time. I will be here until you go home, and then, I will be there. And for the record, I was there last time, too.” Brian saw Justin’s eyes widen at that.



Brian smiled and continued, “I probably won’t ever be able to say what you want, but know that I want to be here. I choose to be here. I’m staying and you are staying. Partners.”



Justin nodded and grabbed Brian’s hand firmly. Then, he drifted back off to sleep.