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Tweak says, "SHARPEN YO" PENCIL!"

notreallyme10 (notreallyme10) wrote in qaf_challenges,
@ 2009-07-12 20:15:00

Entry tags:

clusterf#ck

96. Drabbles: Gray
Title: Gray
Author: LJ's sakesushimaki
Theme: Team Colors
Notes: post-513; 2x100 words, minor character death; thanks to rinmonsterer for the beta!

Gray

multiple drabble fic

***

It’s a gray day, the day they bury her.

The air seems heavy, the clouds barely containing the mass of water they’re undoubtedly holding.

Everyone’s brought umbrellas; black ones. His is green, a bold green.

As much as he can remember, she’s always worn gray. It’s unflashy, unobtrusive, … lifeless. He bets she’s wearing gray right now.

He feels gray towards her. He hates her for much, but it always could have been worse; black. But it was gray. Not quite as dark, not quite as cold, but dull and constant and slowly diffusing into every vein over many years.

*

The priest recounts some standard verses; funeral 101. No personal fuss, no readings, no eulogies. They probably wouldn’t manage to come up with one halfway decent speech if all of the attendants threw their positive memories of her together.

The tombstone is gray, her name not engraved yet. She’ll be the light gray line under “Jack Kinney, 1946-2001”. Rest in fucking peace, you brutes; you have no idea what you’ve been missing.

He drives home in the rain; it has never seemed this gray before.

“Hey,” comes the soft greeting from the sofa. “Where’ve you been?”

“Just out,” Justin says.

***

(Post a new comment)

	vl_redreign 2009-07-13 02:48 am UTC (link)
	Whoa, nice twist!! I thought sure it was Brian's inner thoughts we were listening to. Great job! (Reply to this) (Thread)

	(Anonymous) 2009-07-17 12:01 pm UTC (link)
	Thanks so much! Cheers, sakesushimaki (Reply to this) (Parent)

	fun_demented 2009-07-13 04:31 am UTC (link)
	Genius. (Reply to this) (Thread)

	(Anonymous) 2009-07-17 12:02 pm UTC (link)
	Wow, thanks! <3 Cheers, sakesushimaki (Reply to this) (Parent)

	noteverything 2009-07-13 04:39 pm UTC (link)
	That was very unusual. The use of color definitely gives it a dismal feel. (Reply to this) (Thread)

	(Anonymous) 2009-07-17 12:03 pm UTC (link)
	Glad to hear it worked, thank you. Cheers, sakesushimaki (Reply to this) (Parent)

	qafmaniac 2009-07-13 06:08 pm UTC (link)
	Wow!And here I thought we were "listening" to Brian. ;) Great work! (Reply to this) (Thread)

	(Anonymous) 2009-07-17 12:05 pm UTC (link)
	So happy that the chicanery worked ;) Thank youuu! Cheers, sakesushimaki (Reply to this) (Parent)

	jule1122 2009-07-13 10:23 pm UTC (link)
	Love the twist at the end! (Reply to this) (Thread)

	(Anonymous) 2009-07-17 12:06 pm UTC (link)
	Glad you did, thanks a lot! Cheers, sakesushimaki (Reply to this) (Parent)

	circadia 2009-07-13 10:27 pm UTC (link)
	Great twist, and fantastic way to capture the mood with color, especially the use of gray, of course. (Reply to this) (Thread)

	(Anonymous) 2009-07-17 12:07 pm UTC (link)
	Thanks so much, so happy that the mood capturing worked. Cheers, sakesushimaki (Reply to this) (Parent)

	outlander 2009-07-14 01:32 pm UTC (link)
	Rest in fucking peace, you brutes; you have no idea what you’ve been missing. Exactly. Brilliant that it was Justin's thoughts. I could see him doing this. Thanks!! (Reply to this) (Thread)

	(Anonymous) 2009-07-17 12:09 pm UTC (link)
	Thank you! So glad everyone approves of the twist <3 Cheers, sakesushimaki (Reply to this) (Parent)

	michira_70 2009-07-14 08:34 pm UTC (link)
	Great twist, so unexpected. Well done! (Reply to this) (Thread)

	(Anonymous) 2009-07-17 12:10 pm UTC (link)
	Thank you, so glad you liked! Cheers, sakesushimaki (Reply to this) (Parent)

	rosy5000 2009-07-15 01:15 am UTC (link)
	OOooo! The twist at the end was a surprise but great. (Reply to this) (Thread)

	(Anonymous) 2009-07-17 12:11 pm UTC (link)
	So glad to hear that, thanks a lot! Cheers, sakesushimaki (Reply to this) (Parent)

	minuet9 2009-07-15 07:14 am UTC (link)
	Oooh what a twist. Very nice writing. Love the use of the colour as an emotion. (Reply to this) (Thread)

	(Anonymous) 2009-07-17 12:11 pm UTC (link)
	Muchas gracias! bounces Cheers, sakesushimaki (Reply to this) (Parent)

	bodleian 2009-07-16 12:03 am UTC (link)
	That ending really surprised me. I really thought that we were listening to Brian. An excellent piece of writing. (Reply to this) (Thread)

	(Anonymous) 2009-07-17 12:12 pm UTC (link)
	Thanks so much for the nice words! :] Cheers, sakesushimaki (Reply to this) (Parent)

	butternutsquash 2009-07-17 02:45 am UTC (link)
	Great twist. Loved that Justin went to the funeral on his own. (Reply to this) (Thread)

	(Anonymous) 2009-07-17 12:12 pm UTC (link)
	I'm glad you approve, thank you! Cheers, sakesushimaki (Reply to this) (Parent)

	itwaslovetome 2009-07-19 02:31 am UTC (link)
	Ooh, love the twist and can really see this happening. Excellent drabbles. (Reply to this)

	ahaw9913 2009-07-23 01:42 pm UTC (link)
	I was COMPLETELY taken in! And Justin would so go to Joan's funeral, even if Brian didn't, and you are right, he would never tell Brian. Awesome drabble-fic. I'll have to check out your other fics, cause these are really, really good! (Reply to this)

	dottie_jane 2009-07-24 01:29 am UTC (link)
	Oh, I like the twist. Also, I really like that you called them "brutes." It's a great way to describe them. (Reply to this)

	notreallyme10 2009-09-27 06:15 pm UTC (link)
	Love the twist! Great job! (Reply to this)