InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "I pity the foo'"

notreallyme10 (notreallyme10) wrote in qaf_challenges,
@ 2009-07-12 19:00:00

Entry tags:

clusterf#ck

63. Full Length Fic: More Than Wanting
Title: More Than Wanting
Author: notreallyme10
Theme: Yearning
Notes: Thanks to my amazing beta!

Justin's POV

I feel it all the time, that nagging ache in my gut and throbbing want in my cock. I have to have him and not just once. Or twice. And not just for fun, not just for a good fuck. From the first night, I wanted him so bad it hurt. Wanted his hands on my body and his cock inside me. Wanted his attention and his time. And most of all I wanted his love, yearned for it.

And somehow I know that it is there for the taking. All of it. And just for me.

It doesn't matter where I am or what I'm doing, he's always the first thing on my mind. I can't concentrate on anything else. When I'm not with him I'm sketching him, plotting ways to spend more time with him or jerking off thinking about him.

Daph's sick of hearing about him, my parents want him out of my life, his friends want me out of his life and none of that matters to me.

He pushes me away and I don't care.

I can't stop it or rein it in and more importantly, I don't want to.

Brian's POV

My day was for shit. Nothing went right at work and Cynthia was in a foul mood. Mikey called four times to "check" on me and generally irritate the shit out of me.

Being home isn't any more relaxing. A few swigs of Beam and a long hot shower do nothing to ease the tension in my shoulders or the ache in my gut. Woody's and Babylon are out; I'm not interested in dancing or making nice with others.

I need something, anything, to cure this restlessness I feel. I consider going to the baths but I've been there the last three nights and I didn't find what I was looking for.

I grab the phone and dial instead. I'm very clear about what I want and I tell the guy not to bother if they can't match my description, but he assures me they have "just the boy" for me. I hang up and pace with the Beam bottle for awhile.

A half hour later I realize I have to put the bottle down if I have any hope of enjoying tonight's entertainment. I sit at the bar and force myself to eat an apple.

I want him. I want to fuck him more than I've ever wanted to fuck anyone. I want to bury my face in his ass and tongue fuck him until he screams. I want to grab his hair and fuck his face. I want him to ride my cock hard, head thrown back and all the muscles in his body straining for more.

I want him here.

I'm just about to grab the bottle again when I hear the buzzer. Took him long enough. I consider sending him away. But it's him or the Beam and I don't have that much Beam left.

Justin's POV

I always wanted him. When we were together and when we were apart. But moving to New York made me feel like I did when we first met.

I long to be with him.

I miss him more than I ever imagined. I want to go home to him... but I love it here. I'm thriving in New York and it makes me feel like I am being pulled in two different directions, split in half by this wonderful new life and the pain of being without him.

But everything falls into place when he's here. In New York I've made a life for myself and Brian doesn't even try to hide how proud he is. Being together in New York is everything I want, but it only lasts a few days before Brian has to go back to Pittsburgh and I'm left feeling like there is a gaping hole in my life.

I told him that once and he made some crack about filling my holes. But he feels it too.

I can hear it, in his voice on the phone when he's telling me about his day or moaning my name.

Brian's POV

I think about it when I'm stroking my cock. I think about it when he's blowing me. I think about it when I'm fucking his ass.

I've got my tongue in his hole and all I can think about is getting my bare cock in there.

I've always thought fucking raw would be hot, but I never thought I would want it this bad. I never thought I would become completely consumed by it, to the point of distraction. To the point that I can't imagine anything better than fucking Justin without a condom.

He knows of course, because he can always read me.

He rubs his ass against my cock in the shower until my fists clench and I'm panting in his ear. He sits on my lap in bed, my dick resting in his crack while he jerks off.

And through it all he doesn't say a word. Doesn't ask for it, just tortures me with a sly smile on his face.

(Post a new comment)

	(Anonymous) 2009-07-13 09:14 pm UTC (link)
	Wow. That was hot! On right on target. So them. and so HOT. (Reply to this) (Thread)

	notreallyme10 2009-08-01 06:02 pm UTC (link)
	Thank you very much! (Reply to this) (Parent)

	outlander 2009-07-14 01:05 am UTC (link)
	alkgj;arlg&i%jgij!!! OMG sooooo hot and soooo IC and completely describes yearning. Thank you! (Reply to this) (Thread)

	notreallyme10 2009-08-01 06:02 pm UTC (link)
	Thank you darling :) (Reply to this) (Parent)

	qafmaniac 2009-07-14 08:52 am UTC (link)
	WOW! WOW!! WOW!!! THAT was HOT!! fans self (Reply to this) (Thread)

	notreallyme10 2009-08-01 06:02 pm UTC (link)
	Thank you!! (Reply to this) (Parent)

	rosy5000 2009-07-14 09:53 pm UTC (link)
	Oh MY GUH!! Extremely hot! fans self (Reply to this) (Thread)

	notreallyme10 2009-08-01 06:03 pm UTC (link)
	Thank you :) (Reply to this) (Parent)

	noteverything 2009-07-14 10:07 pm UTC (link)
	What I like about this sort of sexual yearning is that it's SO MUCH MORE than just that. At least it is to me. This is really good. Thank you!! (Reply to this) (Thread)

	notreallyme10 2009-08-01 06:03 pm UTC (link)
	I'm glad you think so! Thank you! (Reply to this) (Parent)

	jule1122 2009-07-14 10:34 pm UTC (link)
	I can just imagine Brian saying this: but it only lasts a few days before Brian has to go back to Pittsburgh and I'm left feeling like there is a gaping hole in my life. I told him that once and he made some crack about filling my holes. But he feels it too. (Reply to this) (Thread)

	notreallyme10 2009-08-01 06:03 pm UTC (link)
	LOL! Thanks! (Reply to this) (Parent)

ahaw9913
2009-07-15 01:14 pm UTC (link)

OH MY GOD!
I don't think you could come up with more perfect examples of yearning! But, wait, I have one! I am yearning, yearning, YEARNING!!! for you to write a ~~hugely long, detailed, graphic~~ sequel to the last part! Cause, ~~I'm a whore for your porn~~ what about yearning fulfilled?

Seriously, I could feel the pull in my chest in each of these vignettes. FEEL the yearning! And as described, it's got to hurt to be worthy of the word, and Lady, you made it hurt! Brava!!!

But, I was serious about that sequel!

(Reply to this) (Thread)

	notreallyme10 2009-08-01 06:05 pm UTC (link)
	ROFL! Thank you so much darling! You are too good to me :) Also did you post this comment before the reveal... did you know it was me? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

ahaw9913
2009-08-01 11:41 pm UTC (link)

I sure did post it before the reveal, and I absolutely knew it was you!!! :D

Do you think I am a whore for just any old porn?!? :D

I read your stinky!Brian after the reveal, but I would have known that was you, too anyway!

Now, about that sequel, I know you already wrote Raw, but this one, with Brian so desperate for it, is just begging to be written! God, if I could write like you, I would do nothing but write myself raw!fic 24/7, I swear!

BTW, I was talking with

sandid and I think we are going to gang up on you to publish, or at least let us read, the original fic you are writing. :D

{{Hugs and Kisses}}

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

notreallyme10
2009-08-02 01:54 am UTC (link)

I'm very impressed that you knew it was me... I'm terrible at guessing who wrote what!

Hmmm... a porny little sequel... I will think about it. I didn't want to show resolution to the yearning in this, but I love the idea of a follow up showing the resolution to Brian wanting to do it raw, now I just have to see if something comes to me :) I too love the raw fic!

BTW, I was talking with sandid and I think we are going to gang up on you to publish, or at least let us read, the original fic you are writing.

I'm extremely flattered! Just the fact that you have any interest at all is amazing to me :) LOL! And thank you so much for sending

sandid my way, she has been incredibly sweet to me!

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

ahaw9913
2009-08-02 04:29 am UTC (link)

I will address these in the order of importance.
-------
OH MY FREAKING GOD!!!!! You really are considering writing this??? YAY!!!! I'm so excited!!! I feel like I got an early birthday present!!!

now I just have to see if something comes to me
Sends you hugely long, detailed, graphic, porny vibes!!! I've been on a roll with these lately, so I'm hoping this will do the trick! :D
-------
Honey, I don't just have interest in reading your original fic, I'm DYING to!!! I think you fail to realize the magnitude of the fangirl I have for you!!! But, not in a creepy, stalky, Kathy Bates kinda way!!! :D
And

sandid is totally a sweetheart. She came back and thanked me for the rec(which you know, not everyone does)of your post 513 series, and told me how much she loved them(which I knew she would). So I'm eliciting her help on the ganging up! :D

------
I'm very impressed that you knew it was me

You should be more impressed with your own talent! I knew one other author, I think, but was dead wrong on most of them! :D

This is where I began to think it was yours.
I want to bury my face in his ass and tongue fuck him until he screams
This is where I was sure it was.
but I love it here. I'm thriving in New York and it makes me feel like I am being pulled in two different directions, split in half by this wonderful new life and the pain of being without him.
But, this is where I was POSITIVE!
I told him that once and he made some crack about filling my holes. But he feels it too.

Only you do porny, schmoopy, funny perfection like, well, you!

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

notreallyme10
2009-08-02 05:06 pm UTC (link)

You really are considering writing this???

I worked on it a little last night... but don't get too excited, sometimes I get stuck and it never gets finished. I'm trying though :)

But, not in a creepy, stalky, Kathy Bates kinda way!!! :D

What kind of half assed fangirling is that? ROFL!

It seriously makes me excited that you are excited :) I've been having so much fun working on it, but I'm nervous too!

Only you do porny, schmoopy, funny perfection like, well, you!

I can't say enough how happy this makes me!!!!

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

ahaw9913
2009-08-02 11:32 pm UTC (link)

I worked on it a little last night... but don't get too excited,

Well, it's a little too late for this warning, as I had a HUGE!!!! spaz attack last night after I read your email! And you don't want to disappoint me now, cause I'm old and don't have much to live for! Whahhh! (how's that?...too much?)

What kind of half assed fangirling is that? ROFL!

*Cracks Up!* Yes, I am obviously going to have to do better!!! :D

(Reply to this) (Parent)

fun_demented
2009-07-16 08:27 pm UTC (link)

Whoa. This is one of the best stories I've ever read. I absolutely love it. It is so in character. You have both of their voices so right it's uncanny. You have their world so right. You told a story through telling their feelings and it's an amazing story, a beautiful story.

And even with all this yearning you managed to make me laugh:

I'm left feeling like there is a gaping hole in my life.

I told him that once and he made some crack about filling my holes.

But then I went right back to the genuine yearning that Brian and Justin feel. Wow.

EXCELLENT.

(Reply to this) (Thread)

	notreallyme10 2009-08-01 06:05 pm UTC (link)
	Wow! Thank you so much! This is such lovely feedback... wow! :D (Reply to this) (Parent)

	ex_4cupcakes771 2009-07-18 06:48 am UTC (link)
	OMG that was hot. I'm YEARNING for more! dfakhfakdfafhagasdfhlsjf (Reply to this) (Thread)

	notreallyme10 2009-08-01 06:05 pm UTC (link)
	Awww, thank you! (Reply to this) (Parent)

	minuet9 2009-07-18 12:43 pm UTC (link)
	I think I'm yearning for more :) Thank you (Reply to this) (Thread)

	notreallyme10 2009-08-01 06:05 pm UTC (link)
	Thank you so much! (Reply to this) (Parent)

	itwaslovetome 2009-07-19 02:57 am UTC (link)
	Wow. This was just... perfect. So hot, yet full of love. Thank you. (Reply to this) (Thread)

	notreallyme10 2009-08-01 06:06 pm UTC (link)
	Thank you :D (Reply to this) (Parent)

	circadia 2009-07-20 03:14 am UTC (link)
	Love it. They just can't stay away! Hot hot sex and beyond (Reply to this) (Thread)

	notreallyme10 2009-08-01 06:06 pm UTC (link)
	Thanks so much! (Reply to this) (Parent)

	simplystars 2009-07-21 01:11 am UTC (link)
	Yowza. fans self I loooooove sneaky!Justin, with the torture and all... :D (Reply to this) (Thread)

	notreallyme10 2009-09-27 08:28 pm UTC (link)
	Thank you very much! (Reply to this) (Parent)

	sandid 2009-08-01 12:29 pm UTC (link)
	OF course this was HOT....but, there was so much underneath that wasn't spoken. Sigh Have you ever considered writing a series fic? I think you would write a fabulous one. I've been trying to pin down what I like about your work. I've got it. You go at us from different angles. I love that. (Reply to this) (Thread)

notreallyme10
2009-08-01 06:01 pm UTC (link)

You go at us from different angles. I love that.

What a lovely description... I have never thought of it that way.

Have you ever considered writing a series fic?

Do you mean like a longer chapter story? I did my post 513 series, but that is pretty much a series of stand alones in one universe. I'd love to do something really long, but it just doesn't seem to be in me. Even when something starts out longer I end up editing the hell out of it. LOL!

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	sandid 2009-08-01 07:30 pm UTC (link)
	Doesn't really matter. You have to write what feels right for you. Who am I to say. lol I'm just tickled @#!$less that someone recc'd you to me. If you write something else. Please think of me. I might miss it. And that just wouldn't do. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	notreallyme10 2009-08-01 07:41 pm UTC (link)
	I'm just tickled @#!$less that someone recc'd you to me. ME TOO! The best place to follow me is here at IJ... I try to remember to post stuff on LJ and on my website but I'm not always on top of that. But I will for sure keep you in mind :) I feel like I've made a new fandom friend and that always makes me happy! (Reply to this) (Parent)

	testdog65 2009-08-09 12:48 am UTC (link)
	Wow, what a great set of little vignettes! I could absolutely feel the yearning throughout each of these - very visceral. And hot. fans self But hot in a way that goes beyond just the physical. You've really tapped into the emotional hotness that I always feel from Brian and Justin. Needless to say, I enjoyed this very much! ~Ellen (Reply to this) (Thread)

	notreallyme10 2009-09-27 08:28 pm UTC (link)
	Thank you so much! (Reply to this) (Parent)

	florida_minxie 2009-09-28 08:35 pm UTC (link)
	Well, hello. That was nice and hot! And definitely a good case of yearning. g (Reply to this) (Thread)

	notreallyme10 2009-10-03 03:01 am UTC (link)
	Thank you very much! (Reply to this) (Parent)

	happier_bunny 2009-10-10 03:44 pm UTC (link)
	Oh wow you nailed the theme. I could feel the longing, hell I could almost taste it. Hot, IC and oh so good! (Reply to this) (Thread)

	notreallyme10 2009-10-11 08:49 pm UTC (link)
	Thank you so much darling! I wrote a little porny part two if you are interested :) (Reply to this) (Parent)