Entry tags:

clusterf#ck

55. Full Length Fic: Home Is Not A Place, It's You
Title: Home Is Not A Place, It's You
Author: no_apologies_86
Theme: Dwellings/Home
Notes: Set post 513, a few days after Justin left for NY. Beta'ed by ermynee224 (Thank you ♥).

Justin was gone and suddenly the loft no longer felt like home.

The loft had always been Brian's most prized possession, something he took pride in, maybe even something he loved.

It was the place where he took tricks if he felt like he needed a bit more intimacy than the backroom of Babylon could provide; the place he liked to show off.

He came to expect and cherish the awed gasps and approving words he got from almost everyone who ever came here for the first time.

The loft was the thing that proved to him and everyone else that he made it. That he was a success.

Most importantly, over the years it had become his home. He had felt more at home here than he had ever felt anywhere else.

But now… everything was different.

At first Brian wasn't sure what exactly was wrong. He had been sitting on his expensive bed with the even more expensive sheets, on the designer chairs and the sofa all day and something had just felt off. Nothing was as comfortable as it used to be.

Or maybe it just reverted back to the way it was before Justin.

The realization of how much more comfortable, how much more of a home Justin had made the place with his mere presence hit him hard, all at once. He realized that even with all the stupid rules and restrictions, it had actually been kind of nice to have a reason to come home for a change.

And now there was this Justin-sized hole and suddenly the place felt too big, too empty.

Then Michael had shown up and taken Brian to Babylon.

And while he was standing in the ruins of what used to be his life and listened to Michael tell him that he'd always be young and beautiful, he realized something else.

Some things weren't meant to change. But some things were.

He wasn't the person he used to be anymore. So maybe his life didn't have to be the way it used to be, either.

Now, dancing with his best friend to music that he didn't even need to hear to know every beat, he suddenly knew that there was just no way to go back to the life he had had before Justin.

He couldn't just go back to dancing and drinking every night, turning tricks and hanging out at the diner. Not after telling Justin he loved him, after proposing to him, after everything.

Now, listening to the song in his head, he made a decision.

Three phone calls and six hours later he was on a plane to New York.











Justin opened the door and gasped, wide-eyed, thinking for a moment he might be hallucinating.

"Brian? What the hell are you doing here?"

Brian just walked past him into the studio apartment, taking in his surroundings with a raised eyebrow.

"Nice to see you, too, Sunshine," he smirked. "Crappy place you got here."

Justin opened and closed his mouth a couple times, still a little shell-shocked at seeing Brian. Finally, he closed the door and followed Brian back into the small room.

"Uhm, yeah, well," he said, "haven't really made the big money yet."

Brian was walking around the room, just looking. There was a mattress on the ground in one corner with books strewn all around it and a battered looking sofa on the other end of the room. All around were unpacked boxes.

Justin followed Brian's gaze and shrugged apologetically. Then he shook his head, wondering what in the world he was apologizing for.

"Brian…. Why are you here?"

He was confused. He'd only been here for three days and it was the middle of the week. Justin knew that Brian had some important meetings this week and it wasn't like him to just blow them off for a little visit.

Brian seemed to consider his answer for a moment, then looked at Justin and took a step closer.

"I did some thinking…"

"Always a dangerous sign." Now it was Justin's turn to smirk.

"Funny," Brian replied, not smiling.

"Brian, what's wrong? Seriously, you're making me nervous." Justin shifted his weight from one foot to the other, looking at Brian intently.

Brian stepped even closer now, until he was only inches away from Justin. He took Justin's face in his hands, just looking for a moment before he finally leaned down to kiss him.

It started out slow, just lips pressed together, moving slightly. But then Justin reached for Brian's neck, pulling him closer and the kiss became more heated.

A second later Brian had Justin shoved against the wall behind him, grinding against him.

After a moment Brian pulled away, breathing hard.

"Better hurry up, Sunshine. We only have about 40 minutes." He leaned back down to capture Justin's mouth in another kiss.

Justin had been busy opening the buttons of Brian shirt but he stopped what he was doing and twisted his face away at Brian's words.

"Huh… what?" he stammered.

"What don't you understand about ‘hurry up'?" Brian smiled and tried to get Justin's shirt off.

But Justin pushed at Brian's chest with both of his hands to stop him and looked up to catch his eyes.

"Brian, seriously. Stop fucking around. What's going on? You just got here, and now you're telling me you're going to leave again in half an hour? What the-"

"40 minutes," Brian interrupted him. "And I'm not leaving, we are."

Justin just shook his head in confusion. "What-?"

"We have an appointment with a realtor. Come on, Justin, take this off." Brian pulled at Justin's shirt again, getting it over his head this time because Justin was simply too confused to resist.

Brian seized the opportunity to kiss Justin again, working his leg in between Justin's.

"What are you—" Justin groaned at the sudden friction. "What are you talking about?"

Brian pulled away again with a sigh.

"I'm moving to New York. We're going to look at houses."

Justin's eyes widened even more. "I… you…. What?"

"Very articulate," Brian raised his eyebrows.

Justin rolled his eyes. "Are you serious?" he asked. "What about Kinnetic?"

"Yes, I'm serious. Can we talk about this later? ‘Cause I really need to get laid. It's been three days, you know."

He smiled and this time Justin didn't pull away when he kissed him again.