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30. Full Length Fic: Opposites Attract, 1/2
Title: Opposites Attract, 1/2
Author: thymewriter
Theme: Opposites
Beta: Thanks to Arwen and Sabina for their help and suggestions.
Notes: Takes place four months after the end of the series.



Chapter 1


“Opposites?”

“That’s what I said.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Oh for fuck sake, you know! Different, not the same, diametrically opposed.”

“You can’t use a word to define itself,” Justin informed Brian with his best PSA voice.

“Who the fuck gives a shit!?”

“I do, and the only thing full of shit is you.”

“Goes without saying,” Brian said sarcastically.

“Because it’s true,” Justin added refusing to let Brian’s statement go.

Brian glared. “Seems like there’s a lot of bullshit floating around here today.”

“Better duck then.”

“What the fuck do you think I’ve been doing?”

Justin chuckled in spite of himself. Drawing in a breath, he said, “As for being opposites, don’t opposites attract?”

“Supposedly – if you’re a magnet,” Brian snapped.

“Supposedly?” Justin asked with a look of surprise. Brian merely studied the floor, refusing to look at Justin. “I’m pretty sure that’s what we have – magnetism,” Justin added.

“Animal magnetism.”

“Um…is there something wrong with animal magnetism?”

“It’s not much of a basis for a relationship.” Brian realized he had used the “R” word. That was not good, not when he was trying to convince Justin to leave and go back to New York where his art career awaited him. Justin’s surprise appearance had thrown him. He wasn’t sure what had prompted this visit, but he needed to convince Justin to go back to New York and continue his search for success in the Big Apple and in the art world in general.

“Excuse me! You’re the expert on relationships now?” Justin demanded.

“As much as you are.”

“Why are we arguing when we could be fucking?” Justin asked, remembering what he had come back to Pittsburgh for. He didn’t want to fight. He wanted to make love … with Brian.

“Because fucking won’t solve the issues between us.”

“Issues? What issues? Like that we’re opposites?”

“Among other things.”

Justin heaved a big sigh. “Brian, I came here…”

“From your apartment in New York City.”

“From my hole in the wall in New York City … that I share with two other people.”

“Looking for more space?” Brian asked snidely.

Justin flinched. Maybe there was a grain of truth in that statement. He hated the place he lived in New York, but there was something much more important here than space. “I was looking for you.”

Brian shook his head and walked over to the bar cart. He poured himself a tall scotch and took a slug before turning back to Justin. “I think you better head back to the airport … or go to your mother’s or Debbie’s…”

“Let’s get one thing straight – you don’t tell me what to do. Not now, not anymore!”

Brian raised an eyebrow. This was a new Justin – more self assured, standing up for himself in ways that the old Justin never would have. Maybe forcing him to go to New York had been the right thing to do. But it also was, in all likelihood, the end of their so-called relationship.

“Are you turning me away?” Justin asked in surprise, as the full import of Brian’s words finally struck him. Brian didn’t want him here, didn’t appear to want him at all, not anymore. Justin wondered what the hell had happened in the weeks that he had been gone.

“I guess you could call it that.”

“Brian? What’s going on? You haven’t answered my calls for almost a month. You don’t respond to my emails. You canceled on your last trip to New York. What happened?”

“Look, Justin, you’ve been in New York for months now. Things change.”

“Are you telling me you’ve moved on?”

“Or you have.”

“I haven’t moved anywhere.”

“Except New York City,” Brian reminded him.

“Brian, why would I be here if I didn’t want us…?”

“There is no us.”

“How…how can you say that?”

“It was easy. I opened my mouth and the words came out,” Brian said callously. He could do this. It was for Justin’s own good.

“I can’t believe…”

“Justin, it’s over. Go back to New York,” Brian said, managing to get the words out with no gentleness in his voice. His heart was pounding, but he couldn’t show Justin how much he needed him, or the young man would never go back to New York.

“You…you said it was only time. I’m back and nothing has changed,” Justin stammered.

“Everything has changed.”

Justin opened his mouth to contradict what Brian was saying. Words failed him. He didn’t know what had happened. He had to find out what was going on so that he could make Brian see reason. He knew Brian probably thought he was doing what was best for Justin, but this was so fucked.

As Justin thought about it, he knew he would have to take a different approach. If there was anyone who could spar with him verbally it was Brian. He wasn’t going to win this argument, not with words, apparently not this night. He would have to take a different tack. He needed to think this situation, find out some more information, and figure out was going on with Brian.

“Okay, you win,” Justin said holding his hands out to the side as he had seen Brian do many times. “I’m going.”

Brian looked surprised, but quickly covered it up. “Good,” he said when he had regained his composure. He had not expected Justin to give up so quickly.

“Fine,” Justin replied.

“Toddle on home to mommy.”

“Fuck you, Kinney! I make the decision about where I go,” Justin said coldly. He turned on his heel and walked to the door of the loft. He picked up his duffel bag from where he had dropped it just inside the loft door. He had come there so full of hope and longing to be home. He had made the decision to leave New York, and he knew it was the right thing for him to do. And all he had found when he reached the loft was a withdrawn, uncommunicative, asshole Brian.

With a final look back at Brian he walked out of the loft, holding his head high. He’d be back, he told himself as he crossed the threshold. His last thought was about how the loft door was so fucking irritating. There was no good way to slam it effectively.

Brian watched Justin leave. He stayed where he was by the bar cart. He knew this was far from over. It wasn’t like Justin Taylor to give up so easily. There would be more to come he was sure. He poured himself another scotch.

Pushing Justin away, convincing him to stay in New York and pursue his art there was the right thing to do, just like it had been the first time he had shoved Justin off this particular cliff. He could do it again. He drank some of the scotch knowing he was going to need much more before the night was over.

*****

“Ted, I don’t know what’s got into him. He was like a stranger. He wouldn’t talk to me. What happened to him while I’ve been gone?” Justin stared at Ted waiting for an explanation of what had changed Brian into the cold, unfeeling man he now seemed to be.

Ted handed Justin a glass of Grey Goose vodka. “You may need this,” he said as he sat down beside Justin on the sofa and took a drink from his bottle of water. It was times like this that Ted really missed a good drink.

“Should you have this in the house?” Justin asked taking a sip of the colorless liquid.

“Probably not, but I think I’ve finally got my demons under control. I no longer feel the minute by minute need of liquor or crystal.”

“What about Brian’s demons?”

Ted shook his head. “That man has more demons than anyone I’ve ever seen.”

“You’re telling me,” Justin said thoughtfully. He wasn’t sure why he had gone to Ted’s after his altercation with Brian. He had started out for his mother’s, but part way there he asked the cab driver to head for Ted’s condo. Maybe the man who worked closely with Brian could supply some of the answers that Justin needed. So here he was. “Can you tell me anything about what’s changed with him? He’s like … like he was when I first met him.”

Ted chuckled at that statement. “Brian Kinney was a major asshole in those days. He never hesitated to tell you about your faults, your shortcomings, your failures.”

“But that was part of what I loved about him. He was brutally honest, but underneath I could always feel that he was saying those things for my own good … for everyone’s good.”

“Yeah,” Ted had to agree.

“So what happened to him?”

“You aren’t there to temper what he does, Justin,” Ted said honestly. “I see this side of him that I don’t like very much. He can be downright cruel in his business negotiations. It’s like he has this need to flex his power over whoever he’s dealing with.”

Justin felt a little piece of himself cringe inside. He knew going to New York was the wrong decision … for him, and apparently for Brian too. He had always felt that Brian and Lindsay had pushed him into something that wasn’t right for him. And now he knew that New York was not right for him.

Brian was much more important than any fucking success in the Big Apple. And Lord knows, there had been precious little success since he went there. He had finally decided that he hated doing what he was doing in New York. He felt like he was living hand to mouth, alone and lonely most of the time, insinuating himself into galleries and parties where he wasn’t really wanted, but was told he should make an appearance. He had met a few people who were supposed to help him with his career, but they didn’t seem all that interested, and that fucking art critic that had started the whole “New York is the only place to further your career” shit had disappeared from the scene.

Justin had never felt so alone in all his life. New York held nothing for him. And worst of all, his artwork was for shit! He hadn’t painted or drawn anything that he really liked since he went there. The four months he had spent in New York might as well have been spent on Mars for all the good it had done him. He had committed to staying in New York for a year to try to make his big breakthrough, but when he had arrived at Brian’s loft earlier, he had already decided that Pittsburgh was where he wanted to be, not New York. He didn’t need any more of New York City, and he was sure that nobody in New York City would miss him.

“Earth to Justin,” Ted was saying.

“Sorry,” Justin replied when he realized that he had totally zoned out. “I was just thinking.”

“I sort of figured…”

“What am I going to do, Ted? He turned me away. He doesn’t want anything to do with me.”

“That’s bullshit and you know it,” Ted responded.

“No, no, I don’t know that, not anymore.”

“Brian may talk a good line, but you know he still loves you. Look at what he was willing to do for you.”

“You mean marriage and the big house and … commitment.”

“All that, but also letting you go. He only wants what’s best for you.”

“He’s what’s best for me,” Justin said adamantly.

“Then you’re going to have to convince him of that.”

“But how?”

Ted shrugged. “If I had the answer to that…”

“You’d be ruling the world.” Ted chuckled. Justin said sadly, “Nobody has the answer. And I don’t think I do anymore either.”

“So you’re giving up?”

It was Justin’s turn to shrug. “What else can I do if he refuses to talk to me?”

“You never gave up before,” Ted said gently. He remembered the tenacious teenager that was Justin Taylor when they had first met. He was relentless. He just kept coming back until Brian Kinney finally gave in and took him into his life. “You always had an answer to whatever he did.”

“It just seemed like I had an answer. I was scared shitless most of the time. I never knew what I was doing, what Brian’s reaction would be. That’s why things like Ethan Gold and New York happened,” Justin admitted.

“But you overcame Ethan and the robbery and L.A. and so many other things…”

“Except for the bashing,” Justin whispered. “We never really got past that. It left … scars that neither one of us really dealt with.”

Ted raised an eyebrow. “Justin, maybe you should be telling Brian this, not me.”

“I tried,” Justin said. “But he wouldn’t listen. Just kept saying we were opposites. That we could never be compatible. All kinds of shit like that.”

“Oh,” Ted replied surprise evident on his face.

“What? Does that mean something to you?”

“Um…”

“Ted, tell me, whatever it is. I need your help.”

“Brian will kill me if he ever finds out.” Justin crossed his heart and held up his hand by way of promising to keep the secret. Ted heaved a sigh and began, “About two months ago I walked into Brian’s office to give him some papers to sign. He was on the speaker phone and I don’t think he noticed me at first.” Ted hesitated.

“Go on, Ted. I need to know if it’ll help me get through to Brian.”

“It was Lindsay on the phone,” Ted continued. “She was telling Brian that you might be having a hard time in New York, but he should let you struggle and find your own way. She said that Brian had found his own way in spite of his parents. He should let you do the same thing.”

“Yeah, so what does that have to do with us being incompatible, opposites.”

“It was her next statement that made me take real notice,” Ted said. “She said that you weren’t like Brian. You’d had it too easy until you came out to your parents. She said that you two were from different worlds, that you could never really understand each other, never really make a go of it.”

Justin’s mouth dropped open. “Lindsay … was my friend. Why would she say that?” Justin asked in bewilderment.

Ted shrugged, not wanting to say the real reason he thought Lindsay might have made those statements.

“Unless…” Justin continued, “she really wants me out of Brian’s life permanently.”

“That did occur to me,” Ted admitted.

“But why…? Unless…”

“Unless what?” Ted asked.

“Unless she really thinks that we are incompatible. Do you think we are, Ted?”

“What do I know?” Ted saw the look that crossed Justin’s face. He couldn’t allow Justin to give up. “One thing I do know,” Ted amended. “Brian was never happier than when you two were together. He’s been miserable since you left, especially since that phone call.”

Justin wrinkled his nose. “You think so?”

“I do.”

“Thanks for saying that Ted.”

“It’s the truth.”

“Then I guess it’s time for me to fight for my man,” Justin said as he polished off his vodka.

Ted laughed out loud. “That’s the Justin Taylor I remember. What are you going to do?”

“Fuck if I know, but I intend to figure it out,” Justin said with a smile.


Chapter 2


Brian walked into Kinnetik Monday morning looking a little the worse for wear. It had been a long, lost weekend since Justin’s arrival on Saturday. Too much booze and too little sleep had made Brian Kinney a dull and miserable man.

“Coffee,” he bellowed as he passed Cynthia’s desk.

Cynthia gave him a look and immediately knew that there was no point in making a snappy reply. Coffee was indeed a necessity. Any smart retort she might have made died on her lips. She had seen this look on her boss enough times over the years to know that he had not had a good weekend. “Yes, Boss,” was all she said.

Brian slumped into his chair behind his desk. Cynthia appeared almost immediately with a mug of coffee and a small box. She handed him the coffee and set the box on the desk. Brian took a sip of the coffee and closed his eyes for a moment letting the hot, rich liquid flood his system. When he opened his eyes Cynthia was staring at him.

“What?”

“That parcel was sitting on the front doorstep when I came in this morning.”

“What is it?”

“I haven’t opened it.”

“Isn’t a good executive assistant supposed to open packages in case they are filled with explosives or fucking anthrax?” Brian asked sarcastically. He eyed the package suspiciously since he was not expecting any kind of a delivery.

Cynthia snorted. “Open your own explosive devices,” she stated, then turned on her heel and left the office.

With a snort, Brian picked up a pencil and jabbed at the box a couple of times. When it didn’t explode, he sat back in his chair and studied it while he sipped his coffee. After a couple of minutes he picked up the box and looked for the return address. There was no address of any kind on the box, just his name Brian Kinney, printed in large letters with a marker.

Brian set down his mug and ripped the brown paper off the box. Underneath the paper he found a crudely folded Mountain Dew box that had been cut down and reformed into packaging for something. He popped the tape that held it all together. Out fell a magnet – a horseshoe shaped magnet with red poles – just like he had used in high school. Things began to form in Brian’s brain and he let out a soft laugh. He picked up the cardboard from the Mountain Dew case and looked inside. Sure enough there was a message printed on the inside of the thin cardboard. He read the words.

Opposites do attract, just like magnets.

But that’s not what will keep us together.

TBHICB

The little shit! What was he trying to pull? Brian reread the message several times trying to figure out if there was a deeper meaning to the words. Deciding that if there was a deeper meaning, he didn’t know what it was, Brian concentrated on the string of capital letters at the end. They must be initials for words, an acronym, Brian decided. He studied them trying to associate a meaning to the string of letters. After several minutes he gave up. Any of the words he assigned to the letters really didn’t make much sense.

“Brian,” Cynthia said poking her head in the office door.

“What?” Brian snapped.

“The boards are ready to be set up for the Eyeconics meeting.”

“Right,” Brian replied, stuffing the magnet in his desk drawer and dumping the disassembled Mountain Dew carton in the wastebasket. “Send them in.”

*****

About seven-thirty that evening Brian rode the elevator up to his loft. It had been a long, but productive day in spite of its rough beginning. The new ads for Eyeconics looked great and that bitch who ran the company had been thrilled. He had cemented their account for another year.

Brian smiled as he pushed up the gate on the elevator. He was remembering the “Orange is the new blue” speech that a certain young intern had made many years ago. The kid had had balls, even if he didn’t always use them in the most appropriate way.

Fishing for his keys in his trousers pocket, Brian almost stepped on something that was propped against the door of the loft. He bent down and picked up a large envelope with his name printed on it in marker. It looked suspiciously like the printing on the other item that had been left on his doorstep at Kinnetik.

Brian unlocked the door and headed into the loft. He dropped his briefcase by the computer desk, his keys on the counter and his coat on the stand inside the door. He closed the loft door before heading up to the bedroom. Tossing the envelope on the bed, he quickly divested himself of his suit and tie, changing into his well worn jeans and a wifebeater. Barefoot, he grabbed the envelope and made his way to the fridge where he got a beer. He took a long drink from the bottle before walking over to the sofa. He dropped down on it holding the envelope out in front of him so he could see the clearly printed name.

“What the fuck are you up to, Taylor?” he said aloud.

Brian lifted the flap on the envelope and pulled out a single sheet of paper. He scanned it quickly:

Google List of Opposites

 

Thought you might find this list interesting.

We sure are opposites if you look over the list.

I particularly liked the in/out one.

TBHICB

Brian chuckled and shook his head. What was Justin doing? The kid should be trying to convince him that they weren’t opposites, not that they were. And there was that stupid TBHICB again. If only he could figure out what that stood for, he might get to the bottom of this whole thing. Brian sipped on his beer while mentally listing all the words that started with any or all of those letters, and might furthermore apply to Justin Taylor.

“The blond homo is cute, but…, Twink Boys Have Ideal Charming Butts.” Brian snorted at that one. Showed where his mind always went, but that wasn’t necessarily a bad thing. He tried again. “Theodore Budget’s His Income Clearly Best.” Where the fuck did that one come from?

Once again he was ready to give up, not finding any apparent solution to this riddle. If Justin Taylor had cooked up this little plot, Brian Kinney should be able to figure it out. That was one thing they had in common – they were both very bright. He’d give Justin that.

As Brian continued to stare at the list of opposites and the little message underneath it, he realized his phone was ringing. He set the sheet of paper down on the coffee table and retrieved the portable phone from the desk. The caller display gave no name, just a number. He knew it was Justin’s.

He was tempted to turn the phone off, but he wanted to find out what Justin was up to, if only to put a stop to it. He pressed talk.

“What?” he began using his coldest, big, badass voice.

“Don’t try to intimidate me with that tone, Kinney. I’m onto you.”

“What the fuck do you think you’re pulling, Taylor, leaving these little messages all over the place?”

“They aren’t all over the place,” Justin contradicted. “I left them in strategic places where you would be sure to get them.”

Brian snorted derisively. “What are they supposed to prove?”

“You mean you haven’t figured it out yet?” Justin laughed.

“I’ve figured out that you’re wasting my time.”

“I wouldn’t dream of doing that, Brian. I know how valuable your time is. I’m sending you a very important message.”

“That we’re opposites. I believe that’s exactly what I told you.”

“You got that part.” Brian could sense the smile on Justin’s face. “But there’s more to it than that.”

“Like what?”

“Come on, Brian. Surely it’s not beyond you.”

“Nothing you do will ever be beyond me,” Brian bragged.

“Oh, really! How many of the words on the list applied to us?”

“Hm, I’d estimate about half of them.”

“You’d be wrong. I counted carefully and decided that 24 of the 37 applied to us.”

“24? I don’t think there’s that many, and your list better not include young/old.”

Justin laughed out loud. “You still worried about growing old? If it mattered to me, I wouldn’t be doing this.”

“Well, it matters to me.”

“Don’t I know it, and yes, I did include that one.”

“Asshole!” Brian reacted.

“Just being truthful. You are quite a bit older than me.”

Brian sighed. “What about fat/thin?”

“Yeah, I included that one.”

“I better not be the fat part of that equation.”

“You think I am?” Justin asked in horror.

“No,” Brian admitted. “Then why did you include it?”

“You always implied that my bottom was fat,” Justin said with a grin, knowing what thoughts of his well rounded ass could do to Brian.

It was Brian’s turn to laugh. “Not fat, Sunshine, bountiful!”

Justin’s breath caught in his throat. Brian had called him Sunshine. Maybe all this nonsense was working. “I’ll take that as a compliment,” Justin said before Brian could take his words back.

“I didn’t especially care for the married/single pairing on your list,” Brian said to move away from his words that had so easily slipped out.

“That’s us, isn’t it? Almost married, still single. Maybe to marry in the future.”

“Justin…” Brian said warningly.

“And how did you like my acronym?”

“Is that what the ‘B’s’ in it stand for – bodacious bottom?” Brian asked with a chuckle.

“No,” Justin laughed. “But I rather like that.” He paused for a moment then said, “So you haven’t figured it out yet?”

“I may have,” Brian replied even though he had no idea what the letters actually meant. Maybe Justin would let something slip if he thought Brian already knew.

“But you think my butt is bodacious?”

“It is one of your finer attributes,” Brian admitted.

Justin smiled. “Did you like the magnet?” Justin asked directing the conversation to a subject that he hoped would bring them back on track to their reconciliation.

“Not very subtle,” Brian retorted. “I would have thought you could come up with something better.”

“I didn’t want anything better. It made the exact point I wanted it to make … and I know how you loved science in high school,” Justin chuckled.

“Yeah, Brian Kinney, mad scientist extraordinaire!”

“That’s what Michael seemed to think you were.”

“Michael?”

“Yeah, we’ve done a lot of talking since we started working on Rage together.”

“No shit!”

“Brian, um, could we get together and talk about what’s going on?” Justin asked, his voice soft and reassuring. He really wanted some answers, and more than that, he wanted to fix things.

“I don’t think there’s any point,” Brian said quickly.

“I do.”

“Justin…”

“You know my little messages are going to continue until you agree to talk to me. We have unfinished business.”

“We don’t have anything to discuss. There is no business.”

“Brian, I know that I hurt you when I went to New York, but you practically forced me to go.”

“So, this is all my fault,” Brian said with weariness clear in his tone.

“It’s nobody’s fault, but we need to sort some things out,” Justin said doing his best not to beg.

“No, Justin, it’s better if we just leave things the way they are.”

“Better for who?” Justin demanded feeling the sting of tears in his eyes. “Lindsay?”

“Lindsay?” Brian repeated. “How…?”

“I have to go. Email me if you figure out what TBHICB stands for.” Justin cut the connection.


Brian stared at the phone as he pulled it away from his ear. It only took him a minute to put two and two together and figure out what Justin had meant by Lindsay. He was going to have Ted Schmidt’s balls.

Chapter 3


“Schmidt! Get your ass into my office,” Brian bellowed as he made his way down the hall to his inner sanctum the next morning.

Ted hustled in right behind Brian. “Boss, I’m sorry, I was just trying to help…”

“You’re fired.”

“Fired? But…”

“You heard me. Get your shit and get the fuck out of here!” Brian ordered, his eyes shooting daggers at his hapless friend.

“But, I was just trying to help you and Justin…” Ted attempted to explain.

“You should understand once and for all that there is no Justin and me, and secondly that I do not tolerate having my business discussed with anyone outside this office. Get out!”

“Okay, okay,” Ted said hanging his head. “I’m sorry that…”

“Sorry is bullshit! And I don’t want to hear any bullshit from you or anyone else. Do you fucking understand me?”

Ted bit his lip and merely nodded before leaving Brian’s office to go to his own to pack up his belongings. He had no idea what he was going to do beyond that. Justin had called to warn him that he had let slip what Ted had told him about Brian’s conversation with Lindsay. Justin had hoped that being forewarned Ted could do something to avoid exactly what had happened. Justin’s warnings aside, Ted hadn’t been able to get a word in.

“Cynthia!” Brian yelled. “Get in here.”

“Yes, Brian, what can I do for you?” Cynthia asked, her face drawn and worried. She had never seen Brian this furious. He had just fired his friend and confidant, fired him in a manner that the whole of Kinnetik had been sure to hear.

“Get me some fucking résumés for accountants or CFO’s or whatever the fuck the job was that Schmidt supposedly did.”

It was on the tip of her tongue to ask if he wanted résumés for potential friends too, but she thought better of saying it. In the mood that Brian was in, she might be joining Ted on the unemployment line. “I’ll see what I can come up with.”

“Make it good!” Brian said with a glare that would make an ordinary mortal quake in her shoes.

With her head held high, Cynthia managed to keep her knees from buckling long enough to get out of Brian’s office and back to her desk. She had just slumped into her chair when Ted came down the hall carrying a cardboard box with his meager belongings packed inside.

“Ted…” Cynthia began, but she didn’t know what to say to him.

Ted gave her a wan smile. “I deserve this. I should have kept my fucking mouth shut.”

“Maybe he’ll change his mind when he has a chance to cool off.”

Ted shook his head. He knew that was extremely unlikely. What he had done was betray Brian’s confidence, and that was one thing Brian Kinney wouldn’t stand for. Even if he had been trying to help Brian by helping Justin, he should have known better than to say anything. He had no one to blame but himself.

“Bye, Cynthia,” Ted said sadly. “I enjoyed working with you.”

“Me too, Ted,” Cynthia replied as Ted headed down the hall to the main door of Kinnetik. She pressed a button on her computer, preparing to look at all the résumés she had scanned in there since Kinnetik had opened its doors.

*****

Brian sat at his desk rubbing his fingers against his temples. He had a colossal headache, one which had grown exponentially since his conversation on the phone with Justin. Now he had just fired his friend and business associate. His fucking life was a piece of shit.

He had seen Ted pass by his office door carrying his cardboard box. A part of him had wanted to call out for Ted to wait – that he had changed his mind. But he knew he couldn’t do that, not after Ted’s betrayal. Justin Taylor was out of his life, and it was time that they all accepted that, Ted and Justin included.

Brian really wanted a drink or a snort, but being at the office, the next best thing was copious quantities of coffee. He pushed the button on the intercom and ordered coffee. Cynthia appeared a minute later carrying a mug of his special brew. She set it on his desk and turned to walk away.

“Wait,” Brian commanded. Cynthia stopped and turned to face her boss. “I know you’re pissed that I fired Ted, but it had to be done.”

Cynthia snorted. “Right,” she said, and Brian could hear the sarcasm in her voice.

“I don’t need any comments from you.”

“Then don’t try to justify what you’ve done.”

“I’m not.”

“Good.” Cynthia turned to leave once again, hoping that she had made her point.

“Um…”

“Yes?” Cynthia asked glancing back.

“Was there a package or an envelope on the doorstep this morning?”

“No, just the one from yesterday.”

“Oh,” Brian replied. He had been half expecting another gift from Justin. Maybe his unfortunate slip on the phone had caused Justin to reevaluate his plan of attack … or maybe, with any luck at all, Justin had canceled all his insidious plans.

“Were you expecting something?”

“No,” Brian said.

“Then I’ll get back to work, searching for a new CFO to replace the one who is irreplaceable,” Cynthia flung over her shoulder as she marched towards the door. She quickly left the office before Brian could say anything more.

Brian went about the work he had lined up for that day. His mind continued to wander to Justin, to the meaning of the gifts, to that fucking acronym, to what he had done to Ted. It turned out to be a mostly wasted day. He got little or nothing accomplished.

*****

A little after five p.m. Cynthia came into his office. She laid several sheets of paper in front of him. “These are the most likely candidates to replace Ted. Look them over and let me know which ones I should schedule interviews with.”

“Cynthia…”

“I don’t want to discuss it. Make your selections.”

“Okay.”

“Good, then I’ll be leaving for the day. Is there anything else you need?”

“No, go ahead.”

With a curt nod Cynthia made her exit.

Brian sat at his desk staring at the stack of papers. He had no idea how he was going to replace Ted. There were probably more qualified people in the pile of résumés, but none of them would be able to assist him the way Ted had … especially during his cancer. Ted had really stepped up to the plate when Brian had been so sick. Without Ted’s help Kinnetik might never have got started at all. It could have failed that night when Ted was finally able to crack Wertschafter’s code and transfer the money to save the Remsen account.

Why couldn’t bloody Justin Taylor have stayed in New York where he was supposed to be? Why did he have to come back and stir everything up? Things had been going along … all right. Now his life and his business were both in a fucking shambles. Brian felt like breaking something, smashing everything in his office before it could all be taken away from him.

“I need a drink,” Brian mumbled standing up and stuffing the pile of resumes into his briefcase. Maybe he’d look at them when he got home.

“Where are you, you fucking son of a bitch?”

“What the…?” Brian said with a frown, hearing someone yell those words outside his office.

He headed for the door of his office to see who was creating such a ruckus in the mostly empty building. He came to an abrupt halt as he exited his office. Justin Taylor was standing in the foyer of Kinnetik, hands on his hips, his face an angry mask and his chest heaving with emotion.

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” Brian demanded.

“I want an explanation, you asshole,” Justin stated emphatically. He was no longer shouting, but the edge in his voice was something Brian had never heard before. New York had really changed the young man.

“An explanation about what?”

“Why the fuck you fired Ted? He was just trying to help me, help both of us.”

“You don’t seem to be able to grasp that neither Ted nor anybody else can help us, because there is no fucking us!”

“How could you fire him like that? Without even a chance for him to explain.”

“What good are explanations?”

“No good … to you, because you’re a colossal asshole.”

“Now that you’ve made that abundantly clear, why don’t you leave?”

“Oh, I’m not nearly finished,” Justin said with a menacing look on his face.

“Yes you are!” Brian growled as he turned and walked back into his office. As he tried to close the door, he felt it shoved back at him.

“Don’t you walk away from me, you son of a bitch!” Justin yelled. “You’re going to listen to me.”

“Am I now?” Brian asked crossing his arms and moving to sit on the edge of his desk. He hoped he looked a lot more nonchalant and uncaring than he really felt.

“I don’t care what you say or do about me. I can take it,” Justin began. “But to do this to Ted who is your right hand man and your friend is … is … inexcusable!”

“Who died and made you chief judge and jury?” Brian asked snidely.

“Nobody died, but that doesn’t mean I wouldn’t like to kill you.”

Brian smirked. He could hear some of the anger fading from Justin’s voice. It took a lot of energy to sustain that level of anger. He knew that from experience. “Well, I suggest you either kill me or leave.”

“Neither of the above. That would let you off too easy.”

Brian snorted. “What the fuck do you want to say?” Brian finally asked with a sigh, since it didn’t seem that he was going to get Justin to leave any other way.

“I want to say that I came back from New York to tell you that I’m done there. I don’t want to be in New York anymore. I hate it there. I love you, you fucking asshole, and this is where I want to be.”

Brian felt the words sweep over him. This is what he’d been waiting for. As much as he would deny it, he had hoped ever since Justin left that he would return. He had hoped that it would be a triumphant return for Justin, but he would take any kind of return. And now apparently Justin was back … for good. But it wasn’t supposed to be like this. Brian wanted Justin to have every success that was open to him. He couldn’t let Justin give up before he achieved that success.

Deciding that he would try one more time to get Justin to go back to New York, he adopted his most scathing tone of voice. “Is that supposed to be a proposal, because it’s the most fucked up one I’ve ever heard?” Brian scoffed. He could still push Justin away before it was too late.

“I wouldn’t presume to propose to the high and mighty Brian Kinney. I’m just a poor, lowly, starving artist. But I want you to know that I still love you and Pittsburgh is where I want to be.”

“You always were a quitter – me, Ian, PIFA…”

Justin felt like Brian had slapped him in the face. “You … you think I quit?” he managed to get out, his voice trembling. How could Brian say this to him … even if there was a grain of truth in his words?

“Justin, I don’t want to have this conversation. It’s over, has been ever since you left…”

“Then why did you come to New York that time? Why did you take me to a fancy hotel and fuck me senseless?”

“Let’s just say it was for old times sake. But now it’s over and done.”

“Brian…?”

“I know it’s hard to hear, but…”

“You really want me gone, don’t you?” Justin asked his voice cracking as the realization of what Brian was telling him finally sunk in.

Brian nodded. “I think that’s best … for both of us,” he said in measured tones. That wasn’t how he felt at all, but he couldn’t let Justin know how his heart had soared when Justin said he was back for good and still wanted him.

Justin’s face showed all the hurt Brian’s words had caused. Tears welled in his eyes, his cheeks burned with embarrassment and his breathing came quick and sharp. He stared at Brian with horror written all over his face.

Brian wanted to reach out and grab Justin, pull him into his arms and tell him that his words were all a lie, a lie that was supposed to be helping Justin with his fucking career. Brian’s hand came up from the edge of the desk which he had been gripping with all the force he could muster. As he started to reach for his former lover, he made a colossal act of will. He pointed to the door.

“Go, Justin,” he said, hoping the kid would leave before they both totally fell apart.

Justin took a step back like Brian had struck him. Then he hesitated and drew in a deep breath. He marched over to the desk and grabbed Brian behind the head. His fingers dug into the soft brown hair, deep and deeper until he pressed against Brian’s skull. With a not so gentle push he forced Brian’s lips towards him. He captured those lips in a kiss that was deep and demanding and … hot. He poured all his longing for Brian into that kiss. He tried to make Brian feel his loneliness at being so far away from him when the man was all he really wanted or needed. The kiss went on and on, and to Justin’s surprise Brian didn’t push him away. He didn’t exactly participate in the kiss, at least not at first, but he didn’t try to stop it either. Justin felt a glimmer of hope erupt in his heart. Maybe he could get through to Brian after all. He continued the kiss seeking to tell Brian everything he wanted him to know, just from the pressure of his lips.

Brian felt himself drowning in Justin’s kiss. He had missed this for so many weeks. Nothing, no one, could do to his body what Justin Taylor did. Brian held back as much as he could manage, letting Justin pour all his need and longing into him through their locked lips. He wanted to respond but he fought it as long as he could. Then Justin’s tongue sought entrance to his mouth and Brian gave in.

Justin felt like he was climbing inside Brian as the kiss progressed. His tongue sought all the familiar places inside Brian’s mouth, all the places that Justin knew so well. He released the back of Brian’s head and wrapped his arms around Brian’s neck.

That was his mistake. He felt Brian draw back and then push him away. “We can’t do this,” Brian gasped.

“Sure we can.”

“No, you need to go.”

Justin leaned back to stare into Brian’s eyes, his arms still linked around the back of Brian’s neck. He saw that Brian really meant that Justin should leave.

“I’ll go, if you’ll promise me something,” Justin said continuing to stare into Brian’s eyes.

“I…”

“Take Ted back. This isn’t his fault,” Justin said softly.

“I don’t think…”

“Don’t think, Brian,” Justin ordered. “Give him his job back. Please!”

“I…”

“Think about it. I won’t make you promise now, just think about it,” Justin said releasing Brian from the death grip he had held on the man. “I’m going.”

“Good,” Brian replied trying to sound callous, but all it sounded was sad.

“And expect some more messages from me. I won’t quit until you figure out what that acronym means.”


“Justin…” Brian began shaking his head and staring at the floor while he tried to recover his equilibrium. When he looked up, Justin Taylor had left the building.