Entry tags:

challenge in two parts

Graphic Number 15: "4 AM"
Title: 4 AM
Author: amelialourdes
Timeline: Season 1, 3x08
Rating: G
Warnings, if any: None.
Graphic: Image 15 by badbapixie




Brian learned a lesson early in life from his father: The only person you can depend on is yourself. Jack and Joanie never really paid that much attention to him unless one can count the attention given to him when he was beaten for forgetting to take out the trash or not emptying the dishwasher or the million other little reasons his father used to beat him. Sometimes Jack didn’t even need a reason to beat him. With a bottle of liquor in hand, he would just walk up to Brian or wake him up in the middle of the night, screaming about something that didn’t have anything to do with him. What would follow that screaming match are memories that he wishes he didn’t have.

Joanie didn’t do anything to protect him. She claimed that there was nothing that she could do and Brian used to tell himself when he was younger that he took the beatings to protect his mom and his sister. When he got older, he knew better. He wasn’t protecting them from shit and he had enough of it.

As much as he tried to avoid the beatings, even when he was a teenager, he couldn’t escape them. He tried staying at Michael’s place for days at a time but Debbie would always eventually send him home when Brian’s mom told him he had to come home. Brian figured he’d only have to put up with it for two more years and then college would give him some freedom.

College did provide him with freedom. From there, he worked his way up to becoming a successful advertising executive.

He didn’t think that he’d be facing old demons when he’d met that twink on Liberty Avenue. How did he get so deeply involved in that kid’s life that he agreed to let him stay at his place? There weren’t enough hours in the day to think about that question. What he knows now is that Justin’s sleeping next to him but not soundly. In fact, he doesn’t think that he’s sleeping at all.

Tonight, Craig had finally had enough of his son playing queer and took it out on Brian’s face and his ribs.

Brian flinches at the memory of first being punched and then kicked in the side. His breath hitches in his throat, releasing it slowly until the pain eventually begins to subside.

“I’m sorry,” he hears Justin beside him, awake. These words he had heard earlier tonight as Brian had been observing his face in the mirror. This time though, he doesn’t tell him that ‘sorry’s bullshit’.

“Go to sleep.” Brian closes his eyes again to try to rest but the pain’s too great.

It’s too familiar.

--------

Sometime during the week, Brian picks Justin up from school with every intention of sending him back to his parents’ house. After the encounter with his mother and the mess at the loft, having Justin there on an even temporary basis is impossible. Brian’s space is Brian’s space and it’s only meant for him. Having Justin there is an invasion of his privacy and solitude.

When they arrive at Justin’s house, Brian takes a seat because Jennifer insists on having him there while they speak to Justin. The conversation goes well. It’s a typical scolding of a child by his parents until Craig begins to speak.

There’s a tone in his voice that Brian immediately recognizes. It’s a tone of hatred and disgust for the way that his son has begun to live his life.

Brian watches the way that Justin reacts with shock, surprise, and anger. If Justin glances over, he would have seen only a look of anger on Brian’s face.

The treatment that Brian’s own father bestowed upon him has been weighing heavily on his mind since Justin’s father punched and kicked him on the ground. Images of his father’s face only inches from his own before he gave him a black eye flashes through his mind several times as Craig speaks. The rage begins to boil inside of him until he finally speaks up on not only Justin’s behalf, but his own.

There’s no way that he’ll allow Justin to be raised in this kind of environment because he knows it too well. After this moment, if Justin continues to live in this house, he may become subject to violence (according to Justin his dad’s already hit him once), he’ll have to hide who he is, and in the end, he’ll end up going to Brian’s loft anyway just to find solace from the torment of every day life.

Brian shouldn’t have brought him here but he’s trying to remedy it. He takes Justin out of there and doesn’t look back.

--------

Brian drops Justin off at the loft and then leaves to congratulate Michael on his promotion. The day has been long and resurging memories of his own past has left him feel vulnerable. Not to mention, he is beginning to form a headache because of the realization of what he’ll be coming home to: a teenage runaway.

As he opens the loft door, he sees the familiar sight of Justin at the stove but this time the kitchen remains clean. He’s set the table for a dinner for two and Brian inwardly sighs. It’s a romantic scenario set by an idealistic teenager. Because of everything that they’ve endured today, he’s going to allow it to slide.

Sitting across from Justin, eating jambalaya that does taste better on the second day, memories of Brian’s childhood are beginning to fade. The punches, the slams, the hits, the words came back with those several punches from Craig but the pain will eventually fade away just like it always does.

Blue eyes connect with his across the table, a moment of understanding and peace between them. Having Justin here may not be as bad as he thought.