WHOA! Very interesting! I'm loathe to admit, it took me an extra 3 seconds before I clicked on the link... Some people do good first and second person, and some people ... don't. And this is of course true for all fandoms.
But this was good! Really good! Gapfillers within the scenes themselves are always my favorite! So, getting to sort of "hear" and "see" what Brian was thinking and seeing, it's great! I love the fact that you had both of them smiling at one another at the end... Wouldn't have expected that, haha... But, good fic :)