InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "You flunked flank?"

Inara thinks you're very shuai (ray_of_light) wrote in portland_net,
@ 2014-05-11 18:51:00

Entry tags:

ianto jones, inara serra, sam winchester

Is it terrible to say that I don't even remember my mother? I was pulled away from her at such an early age that even if I really try to think about her, I can't create an image of her in my mind. All I really remember are feelings, colors and shapeless memories. A view of the capital from my bedroom window. I often wonder where she could be, who she could be. It's silly but even as I walk the streets here in Portland, I find myself gazing at any woman that could be her age. Could she be my mother?

Anyway, I would like to wish all the mothers a wonderful day. I pray you have your children with you to celebrate.

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	nosuitnoservice 2014-05-11 11:02 pm UTC (link)
	~~Sometimes I wish~~ I mostly remember mine being sick. (Reply to this) (Thread)

	ray_of_light 2014-05-11 11:05 pm UTC (link)
	I'm sorry to hear that. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	nosuitnoservice 2014-05-11 11:31 pm UTC (link)
	I suppose in some ways it just meant I had a lot of surrogate mother-figures. Female relatives and friends' mums and that. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	ray_of_light 2014-05-11 11:36 pm UTC (link)
	Family doesn't have to mean blood-related as the saying goes. (Reply to this) (Parent)

	bornunder 2014-05-11 11:45 pm UTC (link)
	I don't really remember my mother, either. She died when I was a baby. (Reply to this) (Thread)

	ray_of_light 2014-05-11 11:51 pm UTC (link)
	I'm sorry for your loss. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	bornunder 2014-05-12 12:03 am UTC (link)
	Thanks. I'm sorry you were pulled away from your mother, too. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	ray_of_light 2014-05-12 12:06 am UTC (link)
	I lived a very good life among the aristocracy. I was well provided for and nurtured to become the person I am today. In the end, it wasn't my decision to leave my mother. It was simply the way things happened, and I have learned to accept it. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	bornunder 2014-05-12 12:32 am UTC (link)
	Yeah. There's a saying about that, isn't there? Accepting the things you can't change? I did get to meet my mother a few times, under weirder circumstances. Not for long, though. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	ray_of_light 2014-05-12 12:37 am UTC (link)
	I find that if I can't actively do anything to change it, then I should not dwell upon it. The thinking is solid, but it doesn't always work. We are curious beings by nature. May I ask what that was like? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

bornunder
2014-05-12 12:56 am UTC (link)

I'm the type to dwell on things a lot, whether I can do anything about it or not. Especially if there are unanswered questions involved.

I met her spirit first, briefly; she saved my life from a poltergeist. And then I traveled back in time and met her and my father before I was born. But... we were trying to save them from being killed by an angel, so, not exactly a kodak family moment.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	nosuitnoservice 2014-05-12 02:29 am UTC (link)
	Ooh, you're like me then. I ended up keeping a journal just to try to work through things more easily. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	bornunder 2014-05-12 02:52 am UTC (link)
	I usually do alright inside my own head, and talking it out if I can. There's not much I'd want to put into writing, in case the wrong person got their hands on it. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	nosuitnoservice 2014-05-12 03:02 am UTC (link)
	Yeah, I've definitely thought of that. I always used to try not to write about anything classified but close reading could probably pick up a few things still. Not to mention all the personal things. I'm not particularly good at talking things out without self-censoring too much though so sometimes it's the only thing that works. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	bornunder 2014-05-12 03:12 am UTC (link)
	I don't work in government, so I don't really worry about classified. I'm just in the habit of keeping secrets, I guess-- even from the people I talk things out with. Probably the biggest disaster would've been if I kept a journal and Dean got his hands on it. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	nosuitnoservice 2014-05-12 03:17 am UTC (link)
	Yes. Definitely. Lisa was pretty good at respecting that sort of thing once we were really serious but I think in the early days she might have been tempted if she'd seen it lying around. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

bornunder
2014-05-12 03:25 am UTC (link)

Actually, I guess I learned pretty early on that things written down in a journal don't stay secret. Since I found out about all this hunting evil stuff by reading my dad's. And I'd be tempted to read my brother's if I found it, too, just like he'd do if it was the other way around. Since we're a family of secret keepers that have trouble trusting each other.

Or we were. We're working on that. It's hard not to be curious, though; I hate it when I feel like people are keeping secrets from me.

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	nosuitnoservice 2014-05-12 03:30 am UTC (link)
	I wouldn't mind people reading it after I was dead, I suppose. Especially later generations, though I can't imagine quite what they'd get from it. My sister or any of my coworkers would be a bit of a nightmare though. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	bornunder 2014-05-12 03:42 am UTC (link)
	When you're not around to be embarrassed by it, just remembered by it? Yeah, I can see that. (Reply to this) (Parent)