scott mccall isn't a monster (moonshined) wrote in portland_logs, @ 2014-12-12 19:12:00 |
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Entry tags: | allison argent, scott mccall |
Who: Scott & Allison
Where: The carnival
When: Friday night
What: Scott loses his mind and Allison finds out he got his memories.
Status: Complete.
Warnings: Fluff. Angst. Mild violence.
Scott felt like he was dreaming, but he wasn't dreaming. He was actually living it. Everything. The aftermath of Allison's death had hit him hard. Isaac leaving, Chris leaving and then ... it was like everything changed. Everything started over, but it didn't because there were other problems, new problems, new villains that Scott and his pack would always be faced with. Kate turning Derek into a teenager, the Berzerkers and Scott even becoming one thanks to Kate. The Deadpool. Peter Hale - all of it. Scott woke up with a start, gulping for air as he sat up in Allison's bed. He breathed hard as it all just sank in. It wasn't all bad. No, it couldn't be. It was never just bad. There was good. Liam ... and Kira. Scott glanced at the empty spot beside him and Allison was already up, starting her day.
The night before was a blur too. With Allison telling him that Klaus had taking the compulsion away. It was unreal. It seemed too easy. But with Klaus, it was either too easy, or like really hard. There seemed to be no middle ground when it came to him. But, she was free of him, from what he knew. Only because Klaus didn't want her getting in the crossfire of his siblings. She was a hunter though, Scott knew better than to think that she wouldn't. She would always throw herself into some kind of fight when it came to Klaus.
He sighed and got out of bed.
The rest of the day was a daze as Scott moved through it. He couldn't keep his mind off of everything that he had seen, witnessed ... felt. He almost wanted to break off his and Allison's date, but it was kind of like a congratulatory date in a way. She wasn't compelled anymore. And the carnival was something different. Maybe a little spooky but if there was something going on there, then they would want to check it out just to be sure. He couldn't back out, it was Allison. There was just ... some tug on his heart that told him that he had moved on, that he was happy. He knew that no one could ever replace Allison, but he found .. something with someone else. And she was here. And that was going to be awkward.
He just told himself that he wouldn't talk about it. He wouldn't say that he got his memories. He wouldn't know for himself that Derek had transformed, or that Kate turned him into a berzerker or that Liam saved him. That he thought he might have loved Kira. He'd keep it pushed down. Hidden. It was something that he would never speak of.
When he showed up to Allison's house, he parked his bike in her driveway and hopped off. She was already opening the door and he smiled. "Ready for deep fried snickers?" He wrinkled his nose at that. "Or just a funnel cake. Those are good too."
She smiled at him, couldn’t help it. The only real reason Allison wanted to check out the carnival was because it seemed highly suspect and out of place for a good thing to exist in Portland. While Allison had resigned herself to living in this place for the rest of her life, however long that might be, she knew better than to trust anything that Portland threw at them. There were rare occasions when Holly or the wormhole or whoever was responsible would do something nice like send Allison a copy of her family’s bestiary but usually it was either terrible things like non-stop enemies or just plain weird things like gender swapping or full on body swapping. For Allison, the body swapping had been kind of horrible. She hadn’t been able to control Jeremy’s hunter side. It had been a good thing in that she had made a new friend in Jeremy and the two of them had a lot to teach each other but it was bad in that she was so super aggressive in his body that she had almost destroyed her relationships with Isaac and Lydia.
“I’m ready for all the fried foods you can buy me. I better get a stuffed animal won for me too.” She slipped her hand into his and gave him another small smile. This felt so normal, so good. She tried to let herself relax and enjoy it but knew that ultimately they were going to see what was wrong with the carnival and not to have a date or a good time. But they could do both, couldn’t they? Allison had sort of mastered being both. Just like she had asked her mom once upon a time. Why can’t I be strong and go to prom? Allison could have it both ways and she intended to.
They could have taken Allison’s car. They both would have fit a little more comfortably with plenty of space but instead she climbed on the back of his bike. She pulled the helmet on even though she knew it would fuck up her hair and she wrapped her arms tightly around his waist as he gunned the engine and took off towards the carnival.
Once they were admitted, Allison looked around happily. Maybe this was just a good thing. Maybe it was a Christmas present from the wormhole. It was about time something good happened to all of them. She was finally free from Klaus, she had a really cool weapon that she had been worshiping in secret and things seemed on track again with not only her Scott and Isaac but also between her and Allison and with her and her dad. He still hadn’t agreed to meet with Kate yet but Allison had high hopes. With her hand still in Scott’s they walked along the booths and tents just taking in the scenery. Nearby a group of kids screamed and Allison startled but she realized quickly they were only screaming because they were on the tilt a whirl and it had tilted quickly to the side. Their screams were of joy, not terror.
Scott held onto her hand as they walked through the carnival. They had so many rides, so many booths. It was kind of nice. Carnivals always came to towns right? What could be so bad? Whatever was on his mind before had vanished when he was around Allison, walking with her and laughing with her. He eyed a few rides, giving her a look, but right now they were checking things out and making sure that everyone and everything was okay.
He did want to tell her about everything though. Not … Kira, but other things. Like Kate and her Dad and how Isaac had left. Scott thought he needed time, but he never came back. He was just gone. The pack and Scott weren’t enough. But he wasn’t thinking about that right now. As they walked through the crowd, he let go of her hand and put his arm around her. Right now they weren’t dealing with Klaus, or their problems. It was just them.
“I love you.” He smiled at her. He leaned in and kissed her and a monstrous voice caught his attention. He looked ahead when she did and it was some haunted house.
“We should check that out. You know, just in case.”
“Don’t we have enough horror in our lives already?” Allison asked. Though she had to admit that if anything suspect was going to happen it could be in the haunted house. Maybe the haunted house was too obvious though. Maybe whatever horrible thing was waiting around the corner was in something that seemed harmless like the tea cups or the ferris wheel. Yeah, definitely the ferris wheel. Maybe she just wanted to keep up the date feel to this night so it seemed less like investigating which was what they were doing. Allison could have it both ways. She tugged Scott toward the ferris wheel.
Allison secretly knew she didn’t really have to convince him, she just had to keep looking cute. It had always worked for her before with Scott. It seemed like the two of them had been together forever but now there was a huge gap in the middle as Allison’s Portland memories merged with her Beacon Hill ones. In both she had been with Isaac and in both she had been estranged from Scott in one way or another. She had been with him for longer than she had even been a hunter. She had been so different, completely innocent back then. And Scott… well, he was already a werewolf when they got together but he was just figuring it out. They didn’t know anything back then but they were happy. Why was she willing to give that all up?
For Isaac. It really wasn’t like Isaac moved in on Scott’s girl though. She had broken up with Scott for some stupid reason she couldn’t really remember. They were already apart and Isaac came along and things just happened. Maybe it was all supposed to be like this.
They were let onto the ferris wheel almost immediately. There wasn’t a long line and the ferris wheel was huge. Once they got to the top they could see all of Portland and Allison leaned back and enjoyed the view. It was colder, her breath clearly visible in the air and she snuggled closer to Scott because he was so warm.
“Isn’t this much better?” she asked.
No, Allison didn’t have to convince him to do really … anything. Scott let himself get pulled to the Ferris wheel and they rode up to the top. He could see everything, it was … kind of nice. Everything was nice so far. He turned and looked at her, “So much better.” And it was.
Things had gotten crazy and difficult for a while, but they were doing better. Isaac seemed to be doing better. They were all doing better and now that Allison was out from under her compulsion with Klaus, that took a lot off of Scott and Isaac’s shoulders. Scott knew it was selfish, but he thought that Allison would never be truly theirs while she was under his compulsion. Scott didn’t care what the compulsion was, because no matter what, it meant that Klaus won. He was tired of the Originals doing whatever they wanted and never having to face the consequences. He didn’t care that Klaus had come to his senses for his reasonings, it was still on his terms. He just had a feeling that he wasn’t out of their lives yet, that something would happen again, but this time, Scott wasn’t just going to let it happen.
Just like Allison said, they couldn’t just ‘let’ things happen anymore. And Scott wouldn’t.
Scott leaned in and kissed her. And while they were at the top of the Ferris wheel, he felt different. It felt like before. When he had first met her, when they were younger, and more innocent. Where they didn’t have all the worries that they did now and he didn’t want to let that go. But the car jerked and the wheel started turning again to bring them down and he pulled back, his finger tracing her pale face and he kissed her again.
Making out with Scott on the ferris wheel was fun but eventually the ride came to an end. For those few glorious minutes when they were alone and nothing else mattered, they were worth living in Portland for. Allison had an inkling of what happened to her after she died but she was keeping that one to herself forever, she vowed. She was happy to be alive and here even if it meant that Scott had to be here too.
Once they were done with the ferris wheel they started to head towards the snack booth where they could get funnel cakes and hot dogs and any other carnival food they could eat. But on the way Allison hesitated in front of the house of mirrors. She looked at Scott to see what he thought.
“It could be fun,” she pointed out. Later she would wonder why the mirror house didn’t seem scary to her. The haunted house was just obviously scary and the house of mirrors didn’t actually seem scary until they were inside. At first it actually was fun. Allison and Scott stopped in front of a group of three mirrors. One of them made them both look really tall and really skinny like giant string beans and the other made them look short and stout. They laughed and made goofy poses in front of the mirrors, entertained for a few minutes. Maybe the carnival wasn’t so bad after all. Allison actually was having fun. The last time she had this much fun had been at the beach with Isaac over the summer. That had been a long time ago. It had been a harsh fall.
They continued walking until they were standing in a twisted labyrinth of mirrors. “Wow,” she breathed out as they walked through the maze. For a second Allison thought she saw herself reflected back at her in a black hood, holding a crossbow. But when she looked the image was gone and instead it was just her.
Scott wanted to take a picture of this so he could have it forever. They laughed and made funny faces and were just … not thinking about anything else. They walked through some more though, deeper into the house of mirrors and they were faced with a bunch of them, from all sides and everywhere Scott looked, he saw himself. A lot of himself. All in a row and Scott looked at Allison while she looked in the mirror. When he turned back though, he saw something different. Something that wasn’t him and there were so many.
Berzerkers.
Shaking his head, he closed his eyes tight and opened them, they were gone and he looked back at Allison, but her small smile made him smile and he didn’t think much of it. They walked through some more and the lights were just more dimmer as they went. The next room they walked into, it was four walls, covered in mirrors, cut and shaped to fit perfectly with the other. Different effects were on each of them, making them look all shapes and sizes again, just like the one in the front. Scott felt a chill and he rubbed his arm as he walked past them and he caught it out of the corner of his eye. He stopped and looked, tipping his chin up.
Scott swallowed. “Do you see that?” Scott opted to not take his eyes off the Berzerker this time. It wasn’t real. It couldn’t be. But from the way Allison sounded, she didn’t see anything but Scott in the mirror. He frowned.
“It’s nothing.” He said, but the nothing didn’t let go of him so easily. He could hear the whispers, he could feel the breath on the back of his neck and he backed away from the mirror, but the berzerker, him, it never left. Scott saw his own eyes staring back at him.
“See what?” Allison asked. She no longer saw anything. That thing she had thought she saw was long gone. Out of sight and out of mind. That wasn’t who Allison was. It was just a vague ghost haunting the corners of her mind just like her aunt used to. But Kate wasn’t some scary ghoulish creature anymore. She was a reality and Allison wasn’t afraid of her. Sometimes she was afraid for Kate but she couldn’t make herself be afraid of her own aunt. It didn’t matter that Kate was some kind of werejaguar now.
“Hey. Are you okay?” She reached out and touched Scott’s arm. His eyes were locked on the mirror in front of him. Allison closed in on Scott, getting very close to him and looked at their reflection in the mirror. They looked cute she thought and so she kissed him on the cheek. But he barely even blinked, he just kept staring in that mirror like it held the key to something. “What are you seeing that I’m not?” Allison asked him quietly. Her voice was barely above a whisper but seemed to echo from all the mirrors as if Allisons and Scotts surrounded them on all sides. “Come on. Let’s see what’s in the next room.” She took his hand and tugged him into the next room which had a strobe light and another maze of mirrors.
Scott let her pull him into another room, but this room was so much worse. The lights were getting to him and it just felt as though the darkness was pulling him in. He wouldn't let it. And he just kept himself focused as he held onto Allison's hand throughout it. The mirrors weren't fun anymore. They were laughing. It felt like Scott was trapped and each corner he took, he saw Kate's face hovering over him, putting the berzerker mask on. He pulled Allison more aggressively as he turned a corner and he stopped when he came face to face with himself again.
"Allison, I need to get out of here," he said a little breathlessly. It felt like his throat was closing up and the sudden movement this time from the berzerker made Scott ball up his fist and punch the glass. He breathed hard, watching the shards fall to the ground and he looked at his hand. It was bleeding, but the cuts had already healed. He looked back at Allison and shook his head. He looked lost, disoriented. For a moment, he had no idea where he was, but all he could do was hold onto her. She held him down.
She used to hold him down.
"You left me." It wasn't a secret. She died. She left him. Then Isaac left. They both left him. Why would he think they would stick around now? He closed his eyes and let out a breath. "We need to get out of here," he whispered as he finally thought he had gathered his senses.
She wanted to apologize but she was too shocked to form the words. She wasn’t expecting him to say that. They were having such a good time but the more time they spent in the hall of mirrors, the less fun they were having. The rooms were getting progressively darker and Allison started to kick into battle mode. It was her turn to pull Scott along, winding around corners and twisting through bends into more rooms of mirrors. They seemed unending and finally Allison stopped, frustrating.
“I think we got turned around somewhere,” she said. “We should go back.” She started to push him back the way they had come but he didn’t move. “Scott.” She glanced in the mirror to his side and saw her standing dwarfed in the shadow of a gigantic beast with a face made out of bone. It was Scott’s reflection except that it didn’t look like Scott at all. When she looked back at Scott he was him but in the mirror he was… something Allison had never seen before.
“I won’t leave you this time,” she swore to him. “But we have to get out of here.” She wouldn’t leave him, she tightened her hold on his hand. “Come on. We have to go back.”
Scott couldn't move. He was frozen as he looked at his reflection. The beast that was standing in front of him was himself. Kate made him that way. He felt everything, he remembered it all the intent to kill was running rampant through him. Scott didn't kill. He urged his pack not to kill. There was always another way, but Scott was losing himself by the second while still trying to hold onto his own humanity. It wasn't working. Allison's words were in his face, but they were a distant whisper all the same. He could barely hear them. He didn't want to hear them. He was so conflicted, inside he could hear himself screaming, but as he looked, he felt like that monster. That beast. That killer.
"You will." He smiled, but he didn't even see it, because all he could see was what Kate had made him back home. "Just like you always do," he finished and set his eyes on her, but the smile slowly faded when he looked at her. "It's always something, Allison. It's never me though."
He pushed past her and walked off. He could hear the monster behind him, inside of him. It was urging him on, making him say things that he didn't want to say because Allison was his world. Everything was about Allison, and Isaac now, but Allison was just ... Allison. He could hear her faintly behind him as he walked into a room, it was like it just hit him at once. There was a heavy pressure on his chest and he felt himself tense before he shifted. He tried to fight it, but it didn't work, not then and when she touched his shoulder, he snapped around, growling at her, eyes growing alpha red.
“Whoa.” She held her hands out in front of her. It wasn’t surrender but she was trying to show him that she wasn’t a threat. It was a lie. That was the thing about looking like Allison. She didn’t look like much but she was a warrior. She was dangerous. Right now her hands were in front of her and she was staying very still hoping not to set him off as she stared into those red eyes.
“I don’t know what’s going on. Something is happening in here. This is what we came to find out. We wanted to know what was wrong with this place and now we know. It’s the house of mirrors. We have to get out of here and we have to stop other people from going inside. Okay? You and me together. Let’s go do that.”
She took a tentative step forward and when he growled she stopped in her tracks. She swallowed hard. The last couple of times she had tried to best Scott in a fight, she had lost. But to be honest, it had been awhile since the first and the second one she had sort of let him win. Or at least he had cheated by kissing her. With the way that night ended, she didn’t count it as a loss. She didn’t want to fight him though. Her fight with Isaac had nearly pushed him over the edge.
“Scott, please. You have to fight whatever’s happening to you….” Her words trailed off as she looked behind him and all around him and saw that ugly horrible thing reflected back at her.
Scott growled and pushed forward, pushing her back against the mirror. He boxed her in, staring down at her and he closed his eyes, trying to fight it. He shifted back to his human features, he was trying. He was trying so hard, but it was still there and behind her, he saw him. He saw himself. He saw his eyes and he let out a breath that he'd been holding. "Together." He swallowed. "Do you know that I moved on. I was ... happy. You left me behind and Isaac left because there was nothing left for him in Beacon Hills. You ruined everything. Tore it all apart - but ..." He smiled. It was so cruel the way he was looking at her. So unlike Scott. Scott could never, never once could he do this to Allison and something inside of him was just twisting so terribly that when he looked at her, the more angry he got.
Those months of hurt, desperation, trying to move on from something that she had left a long time ago ... it was hard. But he did it. He moved on. With Kira. He could see it in his head even if he wasn't there.
"Don't look at me like that!" He yelled and smashed the glass beside her head. You're a monster. You're a monster. You're a monster. "You did this. All of it, your family. It's going to ruin me."
She closed her eyes when he smashed the mirror but only for a second. She had hoped that smashing the mirror would break the spell it had over him but his eyes were still red and the reflection in the mirror was still the monster. She always felt that her last name was an issue when she was around any of the Hales. She couldn’t help that. She didn’t think it would be like that with Scott.
“You got memories back too.” Allison could piece it together easily. They were obviously memories that went beyond her death since he was referencing Isaac leaving town. Allison had known for some time that Isaac had left with her father for France right after she had died. It was a little humorous in a certain way to picture that and sad all at the same time especially now that Allison could remember.
“It doesn’t sound like I tore anything apart if you moved on and you were happy.” She didn’t have to ask with who. She remembered Kira now although the Kira she conjured up in memories that weren’t really her own were quite a bit different than the Kira she knew here in Portland. She mostly remembered the two of them taking on Isaac, Aiden and Ethan when they were possessed by those nogitsune flies. She remembered Kira saying that she was going to try not to die and Allison had said that was a good plan. At least one of them had stuck to it.
But Allison wasn’t jealous of Kira because they weren’t in Beacon Hills. They were here in Portland and Scott was with her and Isaac and it wasn’t conventional but it worked for the three of them.
She clenched her jaw and shoved him away from her. She stood with purpose in front of the broken mirror. If he kept looking at her maybe he wouldn’t see a reflection. The problem was that she could see it. She could see it in the mirror behind him and he still looked like that thing. She sighed. “Damn it.” She took off running hoping that he would pursue. If she couldn’t get him to leave with her maybe she could get him to chase her out.
She had promised not to leave but she didn’t know what else to do.
Scott stood there, looking at himself as she took off, but his eyes went from the mirror to the door. He could hear the whispers around him, he could see that monster, himself from the corner of his eye, but it wasn't just one. Everywhere he looked, they were all around, in the mirrors, looking at him, taunting him. He could hear clicking noises, he could hear Kate's voice in the background faintly. He could feel nothing else but what he felt when Kate changed him and that was nothing but loyalty to what she wanted. To destroy. Allison was long gone, but he stood there, trying to fight himself, trying so damn hard. He let out a monstrous growl and suddenly, the room shook lightly, the mirrors on the walls shattered and pieces of glass fell to the ground.
You're not a monster. You're a werewolf.
"Allison," he whispered, out of breath, but he took off, going after her expertly. He tracked her scent, which was all throughout, but he went with the stronger pull. When he caught up with her, he grabbed her hand, pulling her back and he just looked at her. "Not here," he said and they went through the maze of mirrors until they found the exit and Scott felt a great weight off his shoulders, off his chest as he nearly bent over. He could feel the sweat that was trickling down the side of his face as the cold air blasted him and he could barely even look at Allison.
Her heart nearly jumped into her throat when he grabbed her hand and pulled her back. But then she saw that his eyes were back to their normal brown color and he didn’t look menacing in the mirrors anymore either. She had heard the mirrors destroyed and maybe that had been the key to curing him. Once they were outside she let go of his hand and instead rubbed his back lightly for a second.
“Are you okay?” she asked him. “At least we know what’s going on with this place now.” She knew he was going to apologize so she just cut him off because he had nothing to be sorry for. She had caught that glimpse of her own dark reflection. Obviously whatever Scott saw was connected to a future that didn’t include Allison. She didn’t know anything about berzerkers. She didn’t know what Kate had done to him. Maybe there was a reason why she remained in the dark but wasn’t this exactly what she had been talking about? They had to stop letting things happen. They had to talk about things like they used to. But the thing was? Allison used to talk about things. She had broken up with him the first time because he was too secretive for her. Their relationship had been founded on secrets and she just hadn’t been let in on the actual secret until later. Maybe it was stupid to think that they could go back and be a way that she imagined they were.
So she didn’t say anything about what he had said about being happy and moving on. She didn’t ask him what he meant when he had said that her family would ruin him. She just gave him a reassuring smile. Then she turned and looked back at the house of mirrors. There was something very bad in there yet she just watched other people line up to go inside.
He wanted to say so much to her, but the words never came. When he finally stood up straight, he saw that small smile on her face, but he didn't return it, he just looked back at the crowd of people that were lined up to go inside. He swallowed hard and looked back at her. "We need to get out of here, we need to warn people. Whatever happened to me could happen to someone else and they might ... it'll just go too far," he said. Everyone fought their own demons, but these were new to Scott. He wasn't there originally, but he lived it the night before in Allison's bed. He saw it all, he lived it. He remembered how Kate bound him and forced him to become a monster. He remembered wanting to do nothing but destroy, even if it meant his own pack. It was Liam that pulled him out though.
"No, wait." He took off toward the line, not caring. He warned the people in line that they shouldn't go in. He had to do something, but in the end, they would do what they wanted, they would go in. What if it was just him? What if it was just something inside that triggered this? What if it was wolfsbane? There were so many possibilities, but the pack needed to be warned.
He and Allison left, not saying much. The things he said, while ... to some extent were true, he did move on, but it seemed too quick and he just felt his heart clench at it. His face remained a stone though because he felt empty then.
Some people wandered away but mostly because they thought Scott was crazy. Allison watched, strangely dispassionate. She continued to feel disconnected from him as they walked through the carnival silently and back out towards the parking lot. They were leaving the carnival on a completely different note than they had come in. Allison didn’t know what to think, she just knew that a tiger couldn’t change it’s stripes. Maybe a werewolf couldn’t either. They had never really been that honest with each other.
They were both quiet as they got on his bike and he started it up. Allison held on tightly but didn’t sit as close as she had on the ride to the carnival. Something had shifted between them and it could be felt all around them in the air.
He pulled up in her driveway and she noticed that he didn’t turn off the engine. She hopped off the back of the bike and took the helmet off. She didn’t invite him inside but she did linger next to him as he took off his own helmet.
“What just happened?” she asked him. How could it be that only a couple hours ago he had shown up in this exact spot to pick her up and she had been overjoyed to see him. Now she just felt confused again and a little hurt even though she knew that whatever that thing was, it wasn’t Scott.
He barely looked at her as he sat on his bike. He didn’t even know how to answer her question. It was all so confusing. He just knew that he needed to figure it out, get it sorted out, but the truth was, there wasn’t much thinking to do. He loved Allison. He wanted Allison, she knew that. He hoped she knew that. He loved Isaac and wanted him too, but he wasn’t here, he didn’t say any of the words to him that he said to Allison.
“I don’t know.” Which was about as honest as he could get at the moment, but when he finally looked at her, she just looked so distant and maybe he did too. Was he happy without her? He used to live in a world where that wasn’t possible. Even the memories he had of Kira when he got here already, he was still pining for Allison. He felt the jealousy from her and Isaac together.
But in the world that he remembered the night before in his dreams, he was happy without both of them. But it was also one of the hardest times of his life. But Kira made it better. He felt like he betrayed her. He felt his eyes tear up and he looked ahead.
“I need to get home,” he mumbled and took her helmet and hooked it on to his bike.
She wasn’t sure what she had been hoping for but it wasn’t that. So much for their plan to be better. They were just going right back to the way they were or maybe he was skipping ahead. Allison had tried to make peace with this idea of alternate versions of herself but it was difficult. She forced a smile but it didn’t touch her eyes and it just fell flat. There was nothing but disappointment behind it.
“Goodnight.” She handed him the helmet she had borrowed and turned around to head back inside. If he needed to go home then he needed to go home. He obviously wasn’t ready to talk about it and she didn’t know why. If he wanted her, she didn’t feel it in that moment. She felt about a million miles away from him, like they were two different people than the ones who had made out on the ferris wheel earlier in the night. The house of mirrors had gotten into Allison’s head too. Maybe he had those memories back and that was the life that he wanted. She was beginning to doubt herself again, just as she thought she had shed all of her self loathing.
You left me. That was the part that she couldn’t shake. Because she hadn’t left him, she died. But they had both started to move on before that. Allison didn’t even really have the chance. It was Scott she was confessing her love to as she lay dying in his arms, not Isaac. Her and Isaac’s love story had only just begun. They didn’t even have a chance. Allison was disappointed that she didn’t get to really do the glow in the dark body painting but she wasn’t disappointed that her first memory of sex with Isaac wasn’t when he was possessed by a fly or whatever that was. But Scott got to move on with Kira. He got to be happy. Good for him.
Allison felt heavy like there was cotton stuffed into her head as she shuffled up the stairs and into her bed. She barely had the energy to kick off her boots and shove her jacket off. She didn’t know why she felt so crappy besides the obvious. It was like the carnival had gotten under her skin and now she would never get it out.
Scott sat there on his bike, watching her go. He could see the disappointment in her eyes and he did that to her. We shouldn’t just let things happen. But Scott drove off then and her words were still in her head and he knew it was true because he agreed. He felt foolish and he felt just … like it was all wrong. It was wrong. He was wrong. And before he could turn into his driveway, he just turned around and went back to her house. He couldn’t leave it like that, he couldn’t just leave her. He couldn’t run. He didn’t want to run. As much as he thought he needed to just be alone, it wasn’t true. The only thing he needed was her.
He shut off his bike once he got there and walked around to the back, where her bedroom window was. He waited, listening, but all he could hear was her breathing. Slowly, he lifted the window and crawled inside and she was already sitting up. “It’s me.” He stepped in and closed the window. Scott took his jacket and shoes off before moving on the bed beside her, laying behind her and moving his arm around her.
“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have left.” And that was the truth. He shouldn’t have. “We shouldn’t just let things happen and right now, there’s no place I’d rather be but here with you.”
She wasn’t disappointed to see Scott crawling through her window. For a minute, she was sure it was Isaac. She didn’t think Scott would come back. He needed to go home. Wasn’t that what he saw? But the carnival had gotten under Scott’s skin too, literally. It had done something to him but Scott wasn’t like Allison. She couldn’t fight the darkness back the way that Scott did. He had a way of chasing the shadows away that made him unlike everyone else that Allison knew.
She turned around under his arm and brushed her lips against his. She still felt heavy but not empty like she had when she first laid down. “I’m glad you came back,” she said softly, in a voice barely above a whisper. “The mirrors did something to you but you already had the memories.” She rested her hand on his side. “Why didn’t you just tell me? I already knew that Isaac went to France with my dad.” Which was weird but she didn’t question it. She had asked her father to make sure that Isaac would be alright if anything happened to her and he had. She didn’t want him to be alone.
“I know that you and Kira were together. And it’s okay. I was okay with it. I wouldn’t have wanted you to be sad or not move on. I’m glad she was there for you.” And while maybe on some level Allison was jealous, she really meant what she said. She would never want Scott to be miserable. She didn’t want that for Isaac or her father either but she wasn’t sure that could be helped.
“Because I didn’t want to know a world without you in it.” He looked at her and sighed. He didn’t want to talk about it, he didn’t want to talk about something that he hadn’t technically lived, but then again, Allison had died and didn’t remember it at first, because she never experienced it. Is that how she felt too? Scott didn’t want to know that he could be happy, but didn’t he deserve it? He didn’t know. He wasn’t confused, it was just something he didn’t want to think about. He didn’t want to know that he and Kira could have been happy, not when Allison was in his arms right now and Isaac was in their hearts.
“Is it okay? I mean, I feel like I betrayed you. I know that me and Kira were together … but … I just thought that maybe …” She would come back to him. He always believed she would. “I just always thought that you would come back. Like … I don’t know, that we would find our way back to eachother. I wasn’t worried. It was always you, but then you died and ... I don’t know. I just felt like I wasted time, I just wish I would have tried, but … I cared about you and I cared about Isaac.”
Scott was jealous of Isaac and Allison at first, but then he couldn’t be anything but happy. Not that things were really happy during that time. Stiles was being possessed and it was just a constant struggle no matter what. Scott didn’t think that anyone was really happy, but they found whatever they could when they could get it.
“It’s okay,” she whispered. It was a promise and she ran her hand down the side of his face and finally rested it there for a minute before lazily leaning up and kissing him. She didn’t want him to feel like he betrayed her. She could still hear his voice back in the mirrors. You left me. Although it seemed like the place had effected Scott more while they were inside it, the lingering effects seemed to be taking hold of Allison. Some part of her mind screamed at her to get up and get on her tablet and let everyone know that they should not go to the carnival. But then she was just too tired to move and she didn’t want to leave her warm sleepy cocoon.
“This is our second chance and we’ll do it right this time.” She would try her very best not to die. It was in her plan to not die and now that she was reasonably assured that Klaus didn’t actually want her dead, she felt like her survival chances had increased exponentially.
“We just have to be honest with each other. We really suck at that.” It seemed like such an easy thing, to just talk and be open with each other. There was no need to hide anything anymore now that everyone was in the know about the supernatural danger that lurked around. Yet they were always hiding things anyway. Allison knew it was partially her own fault. She wasn’t naturally secretive but had learned to be that way somewhere around the time that Gerard Argent was whispering in her ear.
“We should talk. Tomorrow.” She curled up closer to him, definitely sure she didn’t want to leave her warm sleepy cocoon. Why would she ever want to leave it? If was probably pretty important to warn people about the carnival but maybe she would just do that tomorrow too. She closed her eyes, glad that he had decided he didn’t need to go home after all.