unbroken_halo (unbroken_halo) wrote in pornicators, @ 2006-10-01 19:32:00 |
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Original poster: occasusvenustas
Title:: Never
Pairing: Snape/Harry
Summary: Snape and Harry want what they can never have.
Rating: PG13
Disclaimer: I don't own anything HP, don't sue.
A/N: Just inspired again, so here's an angsty little ficlet. Sans p0rny stuff but I hope you likey all the same.
Harry felt the liquor burn his throat as he swallowed it down. It was easier when his head was spinning; when he didn’t have much control over what he was saying. It made more sense when he couldn’t look him straight in the eye and see the want there. The want that mirrored his own. The want that would never go away.
“Stop,” Snape said. His voice was placid, devoid of emotion or caring. “You’ve had enough.”
Harry snorted and took another long drink. “No,” was his slurred reply.
Snape grabbed the glass from Harry’s hand and drunkenly threw it into the fire. The flames jumped a bit and sizzled down. Harry threw back his head and laughed a moment before reaching to the floor and picking up the thick, glass bottle full of the poison.
They were drinking a sweet liquor. Harry had known what it was when the night began but he had become too drunk to remember or to care. He took a deep swallow from the neck of the bottle and let it tumble from his fingers. The thick, dark liquid spilt onto the carpet but Snape didn’t bother to stop it.
In the morning, of course, he would go into hysterics about Harry and how the idiot always ruined something of his when he was over, but at this moment it didn’t matter. Snape looked into his own glass which was very nearly empty and knew he wouldn’t be able to go and fetch more of the alcohol. Didn’t matter, though. That last bit in his glass would do him in for the night.
Harry slumped sideways and his head hit Snape’s arm. Snape grumbled and tried to shift over but Harry came right along with him. “Up, you smelly fool,” Snape hissed, weakly pushing at Harry.
“No,” Harry said and knew he couldn’t move even if he wanted to. Which he didn’t.
Snape sighed and shifted so that he and Harry were a bit more comfortable. Harry let out a small cough and a gag and Snape started. “Don’t puke on me Potter. I may be totally sloshed but I will kill you if you get vomit on me.”
“I never puke,” Harry said. This was also true. Harry coughed again and buried his face in Snape’s side. “Why do you have to smell so fucking good, you bastard,” Harry mumbled into the cloth.
“Sorry?” Snape asked, though he heard Harry perfectly well.
Harry turned his face to the side. “It’s these damned little tortures, Snape. These damned little tortures that makes it so hard to focus on your bad stuff.”
“My bad stuff?”
“The stuff,” Harry said, lifting his hand and waving it a little in the air. “The greasy hair, pallid face, the grumpy, because you’re always fucking grumpy.”
“So the alcohol has reverted you to age sixteen?” Snape sneered. “The grumpy?”
“Oh, well, you know what I mean. I’m too drunk to tap into my inner thesaurus to sound more intelligent.”
“And we all know you really are some hormonal sixteen year old at heart,” Snape said meanly.
“Uh…” Harry lost his train of thought for a moment and then caught it again. “Uh… yeah probably.”
Snape rolled his eyes. “Another drunken night spent on my sofa. How does that make you feel, Potter?”
“Should I be elsewhere?”
“At home with your wife,” Snape said.
“I hate her,” Harry said from behind a yawn.
“You have made that perfectly clear.” Snape’s tone was dry but his eyes flashed with a sort of happiness that probably would have frightened Harry… or excited him.
“She’s pregnant, you know,” Harry said.
“I know.”
“The thing- er- the baby, isn’t mine.”
“I know.”
Harry yawned loudly again. “Might look like him. You know, like Malfoy. Think of that, Snape. Think of it. Spawn of Malfoy in my home, gestating in my wife‘s womb. I should drown it.”
“As much as I hate the soul-sucking creatures we all know as children, I do not condone murdering them.”
Harry chuckled sleepily and closed his eyes. “Kiss me, Snape.”
“No.”
Harry rolled his eyes up and saw Snape looking down at him. “You never kiss me.”
“With good reason.”
Harry’s eyes closed again and he felt Snape shift out from under him. Harry’s head hit the soft cushion and he made a little “oomph” sound. One eye cracked open and he saw the dark shadow of Snape standing over him.
Snape knelt beside Harry and ran his long fingers into Harry’s hair. Harry’s eyes opened and he saw Snape’s face very close to his. He could smell the liquor-scented breath puff over his face and he tried not to smile.
“I will never kiss you,” Snape said. “I will never fuck you. I will never make love to you. I will never touch you. I will never, never love you.”
“I know.”
Snape’s grip tightened on Harry’s hair. “It will never happen.”
“I know.”
“I will always hate you.”
“I know.”
“Because I want you and I can never have you. She will.”
Harry’s voice nearly failed him. “I know.”
The hand, the face, the body, the breath. It was gone and Harry was alone. The fire was warm but the heat didn’t penetrate him. His eyes closed and he tried to forget. All he wanted was to forget.