Dogma, Loki/Bartleby, upsides
((Let me say I was very reluctant to post this, if only because I'm in no way worthy of writing fic for a fandom I so revere. Anyway~ ^^))
One took a swig from the bottle in his hand, the mouthful swirling around before finding itself expelled to the pavement.
"So what now, Loki?"
Sip.
"The fuck you mean, what now?"
Spit.
"Well, we came to down to the world to cause havoc and mayhem and all manner of other chaos-inducing activities, correct? And yet here we are... in Wisconsin. Two of God's greatest gifts to the realm of Angels, sitting in a ditch, perving on those unconscionable ladies across the street like any pathetic human male would do."
"Besides the fact that this is a curb, not a ditch, and they're five-dollar-an-hour whores, not 'ladies', what would you suggest we do, oh ever-inspired Bartleby?"
The dark-haired angel rolled his angered eyes. "See now you're just being fucking smart. And oh, gee, I don't really know what we should do. Something a little more chaos-inducing, perhaps? Something to incur some minor havoc and mayhem? But I mean, they're merely suggestions, just an idea or two that... suddenly popped into my head."
Loki stood immediately from his concrete seat, eyes livid and arms flailing. "Seriously?! We're on the verge of fucking Universal Destruction and Negation of All Existence and you want to go out and cause a 'little chaos'?! What's wrong with you? Why is you're sorry ass so unsatisfied that you can't sit still for a few hours?! My God! A few hours! Just a few hours and the fucking fireworks are gonna start, man!"
"See, that's where you're wrong my friend - I have no ass."
And immediately the blonde angel returned to his former position, all traces of anger gone in a blink. "This is true. You know, it's just ridiculously hard to insult a guy when he's anatomically impaired below the waistline. No pun intended."
Bartleby appeared to ponder this. "Mm. But it's not all bad either, is it? You should be the first to admit that, Mr. High-and-mighty. So, no, we can't go and fuck a few whores in our last remaining hours, but hey! Not every guy you know can just go out there like you used to and instigate the mass genocide of an entire nation before dinner time, can he?"
"Got that right. Watching that shit unfold was like... good hardcore porn for my merciless soul. If I'd had a cock, I swear I'd woulda had a raging hard-on."
The brunette nodded in understanding, gesturing his hands expansively as he carried on. "And was it not also you who wielded that intemperately fiery sword back in the day, smiting those uncultured philistines whom took His name in vain, casting down the power of vengeance upon the unworthy rulers of the earth, slaughtering their first-born and whatnot..."
"Outstanding! Who knew you could be so eloquently praising? Thanks, man." Loki slapped his partner on the back.
"I know how you are, with your frightful penchant for dramatics."
"Hey, it's called style. And striking fear into the hearts of the wicked ain't always easy... I like to think I've achieved a lot in my life so far."
"Me too. No more regrets... Except for the never getting laid part, but let us not put a downer on this sanguine moment."