Doctrine of Labyrinths Series, Felix/Mildmay, dubcon and the binding-by-forms, "Felix had promised n
Would it be rape if Mildmay asked Felix to make him do it? Making someone have sex, by definition, is rape, but if he asked Felix to, if he /wanted/ Felix to make him, what would it be? Would Felix do it? Well, that's a silly question. Of course he would. But would Mildmay ask him to? I don't know. The way they look at each other sometimes...
I can imagine them together, beautiful symmetry and awful disjointedness, that red hair, those mirrored faces, marred by scars and anger and bitterness blacker than the Sim. What would Mildmay's face look like if they had sex? Blissful? Angry? Resigned? Or would he just be happy? Would him asking Felix to make him have sex be his way of giving into the jealousy that I've felt from him since the beginning?
The two of them together, red hair mingling with red hair, scars sweaty and slippery with cum. Felix kissing Mildmay and Mildmay responding, pressing back so hard that their lips bruise. Biting at each other, nipping and licking and exploring, I can see them fucking in my mind's eye. Mildmay's mouth doing what I could never bring myself to do, closing over Felix's cock and sucking until Felix's mind lost control with ecstacy and he threw his head back and /howled/. And then Felix returning the favor for Mildmay, who would never scream but would pant and grunt and moan until he too came. Afterwards they would lay together in a heap, cuddling and kissing and telling each other how much they love each other. That's how it would be. I know it would.
That first time they would fuck, but the next time, when Felix had not ordered Mildmay and they were both doing it of their own free will they would make love, gentle and wonderful and painless except for that first penetration, which Felix would soothe Mildmay through, using oil and soft words and sweet kisses. They would fall asleep after that one, only waking up in the morning to smile at each other.
They'll do it. Now that I'm gone, out of that suite, it'll happen one way or another. Felix wants it too much and Mildmay's been fighting it for too long. They need each other, and in some ways they deserve each other. They will be beautiful and I will be forgotten as those two become absorbed only in each other and ignore the rest of the world.
Maybe the sex will loosen them up enough so that they can actually talk, work things out and stop hurting each other.
Maybe it will only spiral into madness and pain.
Maybe that first time will be rape after all, and it will kill them both, because Felix will want more and Mildmay will fear him at last.
And maybe, maybe, everything will be perfect, two hands intertwined, one tattooed and clumsy, the other dextrous and lithe. Kissing in the hallways, sneaked glances during the day, loud noises from their room at night. Both of them will get what they need: someone to love and be loved by in return, for everything that they are and all that they have done, as no one has ever been able to do for them.
And if this happens, I ask you, I ask you desperately: what will become of me?