InsaneJournal

There were few things that Jason expected perfection in: his work (inasmuch as you can strive for perfection in a field that is dependent upon others), cleanliness, and keeping to routine. For everything else, he buffered in a margin of error for expectation management, and the system worked as well as it could.

So, when he and Josh had sat down to discuss deal breakers for the hypothetical-but-not-really-hypothetical apartment they were going to be looking for together, he didn’t have many. Location, pet-friendly as Todd was non-negotiable, at least two bedrooms, and no smaller than Josh’s current one (which was bigger than Jason’s, and Jason didn’t want Josh to have to sacrifice the space he’d been accustomed to).

That was it.

But Josh, he knew, had significantly more exacting standards for, well, everything. It was a trait that Jason appreciated about his significant other — while Jason was comfortable making decisions, usually his preference between several options was mild at best. Josh had Opinions, and so long as Jason didn’t have an opposite Opinion (which he rarely did; their tastes meshed surprisingly well), it wasn’t an issue.

“I kind of like the second one we saw,” Jason offered. They had another apartment to look at in an hour, and the heat had finally irritated Jason enough that he had driven them to the nearest 7-11 to get a slurpee. “The view wasn’t terrible.”

Mind slightly on the array of terrible drink options at the 7-11, the comment was enough to bring Josh back to the issue at hand. His perfectionist tendencies were already flaring up at the use of qualifiers such as ‘wasn’t terrible’ and he grimaced for a split second. “Will you be mad at me if I still want to see the last one? I just feel like — we should explore the options. I know it’s not going to be some crazy gut feeling when I see the perfect place, and there’s going to be compromises, but another option won’t hurt.”

He glanced over to his boyfriend in the driver’s seat and looked at him with pure hope. “I swear I’m trying to not be difficult.”

Jason took a drink of his slurpee and sighed happily. "Well, we're scheduled to see it, and we should look at all of the options." He reached over to quickly squeeze Josh's hand - it was warm, unlike Jason's previously slurpee occupied one. "So, no, I won't be mad, and you're not being difficult, love."

“I also wouldn’t say no if there was a crazy gut feeling when I see the perfect place,” Josh admitted, words rushed in slight embarrassment. “I mean, can you imagine? It’d be an incredible moment,” he squeezed Jason’s hand back, that little hint of a smile growing as he spoke.

“Maybe it’ll happen.” It was a harmless enough thing to encourage, and a sweet one, too. Privately, he had to admit that it would be nice to walk into a place and think this is it instead of this carpet is ugly. “But if it happens in a place that has a popcorn ceiling, I’m vetoing it. It’s a new deal breaker after that first apartment we saw. I didn’t realize that was still a thing that builders and designers did.”

The GPS chirped that his turn was upcoming and Jason switched on his turn signal to merge over. “This one has a pool on the roof, I think,” he added, sounding suspiciously too blasé about it.

“You think?” That razor-sharp attention for detail focused on those two words as Josh raised an eyebrow. “That’d be nice. You could imagine us, sunbathing and enjoying the LA summertime up on the roof.” Also too blasé, he matched Jason’s tone for a moment. “Might have to go shopping for better swimwear.”

Jason laughed, turning the car onto the street where the apartment building was. “You mean to tell me you weren’t planning on buying better swimwear for your Hawaii trip?” He parked and glanced at the clock. They were early, but better early than late.

“Why not both?” Josh enquired, all innocence as he also glanced at the clock. “Hey,” his hands reached to give Jason’s sleeve a brief tug. “If it’s not the one, we keep looking. The good ones are worth waiting for.”

“As long as you’re there and you like it, I’m fine,” the blond replied honestly. “All of these places are nice, and you’ll make any of them nicer because I doubt you’re going to let me have final say on furniture.” His tone was teasing — while he wasn’t hurting for money, he still retained the mindset of a struggling dancer in that regard, and as long as something was serviceable, he’d happily buy a $10 chair that was already ancient over something new.

Josh’s smile grew a little, and he leaned over to give Jason a small kiss on the cheek. “We’ll find it,” he assured his boyfriend. “Shall we go check this one out?”

Jason cast an apprehensive glance to outside — bright, sunny, and hot. But the apartment building would be air conditioned. He nodded and grabbed his slurpee. “Let’s go and see if this one wins you over.”

---

It wasn’t butterflies-inducing, but it was something even before they’d seen the rooftop pool. Sure, there were some genuinely misguided decor ideas (green walls that were top of the list to be repainted), but it was good. It was really good.

As soon as they were left to wander the property alone, having concluded the official tour, Josh turned to Jason with a little too much hope in his eyes.

“So…?” Eyebrows raised, he waited for Jason’s judgement.

Jason looked thoughtful. “I like it. Probably better than the other ones we’ve looked at. And it has a third room, which you can turn into a wine room or whatever.”

Josh slipped his hand into Jason’s and proceeded to gently lead him back around the lounge. “Ignoring the bad taste whoever lived here has, it has potential,” he explained, gazing up at the walls. “Imagine this, but no longer mint green. Todd can have that corner,” he gestured to a corner with a small alcove, “And we can get some plants in here, spruce it up a bit.”

"I like the mint," Jason protested, squeezing Josh's hand. "But I think Todd would like that."

“You don’t like the mint if you love me,” Josh quipped. “But it has potential, doesn’t it? Real, live-able potential.” He rose up on his toes to kiss Jason’s cheek. “I want to make this into a home with you, if you’ll let me.”

There was a brief pause as Jason reeled him in close to give him a proper, if chaste, kiss. “I’d like that.” More than like, really, but Josh was good at reading him. “But I still like the mint. Maybe we can do an accent wall? I’m thinking pumpkin orange.”

A brief look of horror ghosted across Josh’s eyes, before he repeated, “Orange?”

But the moment didn’t last, and Josh patted Jason’s shoulder. “Let’s go look at the rooftop pool before you get any more home improvement ideas, love.”

“Hey!” came the laughing protest, though he allowed Josh to lead him forward. “Orange is a great color. That’s the color of the wedding band I want, by the way. Orange and green, maybe a fleck of brown.” He paused, grinning down at Josh. “Camoflauge.”

Josh stopped in his tracks and turned on his heel to face Jason, holding up his forefinger in warning. “Don’t you mess with me like that, Jason Cooper. I know you think you’re funny. Camouflage.” He gave a little huff of indignation. “You’ll do no such thing.”

“And I want a camo suit for the ceremony. Camo everything.” There was no keeping a straight face, but he soldiered on. “We should get some antlers for the accent wall.”

“Who knew that your idea of decor was Gaston-chic,” Josh mused, tugging on Jason’s hand as he went through the door and led him towards the stairs that led up to the building’s roof. “I did always have a big crush on him, if I’m being honest.”

“I never pictured your type as hyper-masculine,” Jason mused. “I’m mildly concerned about what that says about me.” They climbed the flight of stairs, and Jason opened the door to the roof.

The pool was olympic sized, with little shaded cabana-type pockets in the corners. Pool-side seating lined the edges. On what Jason assumed was the deep end of the pool was a slide and a diving board. “Oh. I like this.”

Josh caught his breath briefly, his smile positively beaming at it. Already imagining sunny afternoons spent up there, he tugged at Jason’s hand again. “Can we have it?” He walked closer towards the water’s edge. “Please?”

Jason laughed. “They have openings, so all that stands between us and this place is an application and a credit check.” He squeezed Josh’s hand.

“And you’re ready for this?” Josh’s question was a little hesitant, glancing up at Jason for confirmation. Hypotheticals were all well and good but this would be concrete, a movement of real commitment beyond what they’d had in their relationship before.

His knee jerk reaction was to reassure Josh, but he stamped it down, instead giving the question the sort of thought that it deserved because it was different. Despite being together for half a decade, cohabitation had hardly come up, and Jason had simply been content to think they’d deal with it later, after getting engaged.

But he’d come to realize it wasn’t as easy an explanation as that: this particular step meant starting to tangle their lives together. It made it that much harder to walk away if it came to that. And he didn’t want to walk away, but that fear was still there.

He didn’t want to walk away, and he did want to share a space with Josh (and occasionally terrorize him with terrible decor to see if he’d notice). “Yes. I’m ready for this.”

Josh’s happiness was visible, even if he’d had similar consideration himself. “I think, maybe, this is the right step. Instead of getting ourselves in a panic over marriage and legalities before we’ve talked them out properly, having this first. It feels right, you know? The rest will come, but right now this is perfect.” He turned to face Jason, taking his other hand. “I’m ready too.”

Jason didn’t mention that he thought Josh was probably ready months, if not years, ago, and instead smiled. “So. Paperwork?”

“Come on, Gaston, let’s sign our lives away,” Josh grinned at him.

“So glad you’ve come around, love. Now I know you won’t mind if I lean into that and add a lot of antlers all over the apartment,” Jason teased, leading his boyfriend back to the stairs so that they could fill out paperwork and, hopefully, get the keys to their new place.

“No antlers,” Josh warned as he followed. “I love you, but no. Not ever.”

“We can discuss it at length,” Jason promised. “Now, let’s finish this since we have unexpected dinner plans with my brothers.”

“Of course,” Josh pulled on his arm, leaning in for a kiss at the top of the stairs. “I love you. I’m so happy we’re doing this.”

“Me, too.” Arms wrapped themselves around Josh, pulling him in close. “I love you, too.”