InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "No mattr wher u go, ther u r."

never tell lottie rowe the odds (fortuosity) wrote in playout,
@ 2020-04-19 20:13:00

Entry tags:

! network, fortuna

Tonight I found out you literally can get someone to deliver you bags of ice. Like it’s pizza.

I’m just concerned if it turns up melted while I wait but here’s hoping.

TRACEY.

You made it home?

I have the number of a really good sports massage place if you're the kind of person who needs that after a fight like that. I certainly do right now.

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Thottie.

fortuosity
2020-04-20 05:16 am UTC (link)

I mean, stop me if it’s shit you know or if you’ve read the report but it was a call to apprehend an Organization guy only there were two of them, and one of them was like [...] d’you remember what they said about the Hollywood Boulevard “monster” guy? Yeah.

I’m really bad at telling people when I need them, and it bites me in the ass way more than I’d like.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Thottie. geode 2020-04-20 06:00 am UTC (link)
	No, go on. [...] What did the Organization person say about the Hollywood Boulevard ordeal? It's one of your weaknesses. And one of mine. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Thottie. fortuosity 2020-04-20 06:05 am UTC (link)
	No, he didn’t say anything. There was a Null, and there was another human experiment. We caught both. Just occasionally you need someone to just swoop in and tell you everything that’s been wearing down on you is going to be fine, and look after you for a bit. Saying I need that is really hard. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Thottie. geode 2020-04-20 06:12 am UTC (link)
	I remember reading that. Maybe I didn't want to believe it. [...] Do you ~~need~~ want me to be that person for you right now? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Thottie.

fortuosity
2020-04-20 06:16 am UTC (link)

I get that. There’s something about seeing it that forces you out of that. And that’s the bit that really gets at me, it’s so fucking dark and no one’s explaining or accounting for why people would do this.

No. I think I can manage. It just would be nice to not be so alone, but I can keep my wishful thinking. This is real life and you don’t get nice cosy lies like that. Not really.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Thottie.

geode
2020-04-20 06:34 am UTC (link)

Because there are people out there deluded into believing that being a Null means you are somehow "less than."

I don't [...] want to give you platitudes about how you're not alone; you have Riley, and me, and others, but I realize that that isn't always enough.

But it's not a lie to say that I remain in your life not out of obligation, but because I genuinely care about you as a person and a professional, and whatever minuscule comfort or assistance I can provide, I will.

[...] You are aware I only recently patched up my relationship with my sister. The only remaining living member of my immediate family. I wasn't a good brother to her when she needed me. Let me do that for you, be the brother I should have been.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Thottie. fortuosity 2020-04-20 06:42 am UTC (link)
	To go that far is seriously fucked up. [...] I really lucked out when I got assigned to you, didn’t I? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Thottie. geode 2020-04-20 06:46 am UTC (link)
	It is. Not at first, but eventually I got my head out of my ass, so maybe I'm doing a little better now. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Thottie. fortuosity 2020-04-20 06:52 am UTC (link)
	I mean, I had to do that too. [...] To be totally honest, I’m not really used to the idea of family. I guess I have one, technically speaking. And the family I grew up with I always knew weren’t mine, it’s not hard to tell. So [...] I accept. Do I say that? I accept your offer, and it means a lot to me [...] more really than I’m good at saying. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Thottie. geode 2020-04-20 07:00 am UTC (link)
	[...] I thought I didn't need one anymore. I was wrong. We're both bad at discussing our feelings. I don't take it personally. I'll be over shortly. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Thottie. fortuosity 2020-04-20 07:09 am UTC (link)
	You’ve got me. Promise. Okay. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Thottie. geode 2020-04-20 07:10 am UTC (link)
	You've got me, too. Always. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Thottie. fortuosity 2020-04-20 07:24 am UTC (link)
	Thanks, Theo. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Thottie. geode 2020-04-20 07:29 am UTC (link)
	You're welcome, Lottie. (Reply to this) (Parent)

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