Anthony Jacob Goldstein (aj_goldstein) wrote in plagued_logs, @ 2015-12-09 18:32:00 |
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Entry tags: | !grabme, 1998 december, anthony goldstein, justin finch-fletchley |
Who: Anthony and Justin (!grabme)
What: Anthony just wants to be alone. With his fiance.
When: Wednesday evening
Where: Outside of Hufflepuff and then... Elsewhere
Rating: TBD
Anthony just wanted to be alone. He hadn't been alone since the news about Ioan. It felt like only moments ago they were told, but it also felt like a lifetime ago. His heart was broken. Everything hurt. There was still so much nothing in him. Except everything. The nothing had turned into an everything that just felt like it was ripping him open even more with pointless things. Had Ioan's parents been reached yet? Did they know? They had been a mess when Ioan had been sent to Azkaban. His mum had been a mess as well. The Cadwallader's and the Goldstein's had been neighbors and the best of friends for the past fifteen years. Anthony called Ioan's parents Aunt and Uncle. Ioan had done the same to his own parents. But did they know? Were they blissfully ignorant?
But Anthony knew. And he wanted them all to be blissfully ignorant for as long as they could. And he wanted to be alone. He wanted to properly break down and not have anyone there to tell him it was okay, that everything would be fine. It wouldn't be fine. It would never be fine again.
Anthony hated to be alone though. He truly hated it, even when he wanted it most. And Justin knew that. Justin knew everything and he loved Anthony enough to give him everything. And Anthony needed him. He'd given Justin space, thinking maybe he would want some time with his housemates. Ioan had been one of them, had been his roommate even. They were all feeling this just like he was and Anthony knew that. Ioan was his best friend, but he knew he couldn't claim Ioan as solely his own.
Still, as much as he wanted Justin now, he couldn't convince himself to go into the Hufflepuff common room. He knew the password, but he couldn't bring himself to say it and enter. He didn't want to go in there. He couldn't. And so, he stood outside for about fifteen minutes before someone finally came up from behind him. They asked if he was okay, if he needed help. "Can you get Justin for me? Please?"