LMoM: The Diary of a Death Eater Whore, Part 5 (SS/RL) Title: The Diary of a Death Eater Whore 5/31 Rating (this chapter): NC-17 Pairing, all-over: Remus Lupin/Severus Snape Pairings, this chapter: Remus/Amycus Carrow, Remus/Severus, Severus/hand Kink(s): wanking, slight h/c, prostitution Challenge: LMoM 2008 Word count: 2,300 Link to all chapters: here. Notes: Beta by the lovely envinyatar15 and wonderful red_day_dawning. Summary: Severus Snape returns to a post-war wizarding world without the Dark Lord. No matter the Dark Lord died, his followers still won the battle and the power to rule. In this new world, former Order members are forced to get by as best they can - those who haven't escaped - even if the occupation is not to their liking. Some have even become quite successful and sought after - like the infamous Remus Lupin. The question is: will this new world order make it impossible for love to develop and grow between two such different people as a Death Eater spy and a paid man, a werewolf whore?
For the second time that day, Severus had to leave Lucius' office to find a loo where he could wank. He was sore, and every time he moved, he was reminded of what Lupin had done to him. It was hard to concentrate about books and lists and plans for half the wizarding world and its institutions when one longed for a slow, rough fuck up against a wall. Against any surface, that was, but Severus was partial to walls if he could decide the location: being slammed up against cold bricks and have Remus' thick cock shoved up his arse... the thought was so much more interesting than budgets and books.
The day had been torture. Every time Severus changed in his chair, he could still feel how hard Lupin - Remus - had fucked him. When he stood and the robe swished around him, the fabric slid over places where the lingering pain of sharp bites had painted Severus' skin in dark-coloured bruises. When he sat, his underwear made him feel naked, rubbing over his skin. When he spoke, he could sense a roughness in his throat, as if the cries that had left him yesternight had been torn from him. Words scratched like sandpaper, grating roughly. Severus longed for Lupin's creamy-soft kisses to soothe his mouth.
The memories would not leave him alone. He tried hard to ignore them. It didn't help. Wanking did. It took Severus only a few strokes to get close to climax as soon as he had found a fitting cubicle. He closed his eyes and imagined Remus behind him, or on top of him, inside him before he came, wishing he was back in the house in Notting Hill and Lupin was ordering him to strip. It was humiliating to feel so needy!
Severus swore wild horses couldn't drag him back to Remus Lupin.
It wasn't necessary, either, to summon any horses. Just after Severus had finished his work and stepped outside the Ministry a quick Apparition took care of it - faster and with less commotion. As he stood outside the house, he made a mental check list. Did he still hate Lupin? Check. Did he still fear werewolves? Check. Did he still want Lupin to stay away from him, and preferably die by falling into the same greedy portal that had taken Black?`Check. Severus made another account. He still wasn't a coward. He still supported Lucius' way of doing things. He still hadn't received an Owl, informing him that he, by mistake, had been sorted into Slytherin, when he should have been placed in Gryffindor. Everything seemed to be in order in Severus' life. Things hadn't changed at all.
Apart from the minor, tiny, incredibly insignificant fact that Remus Lupin somehow had discovered what made Severus tick, and there was no chance in the world Severus could stay away if there was a slight chance he could get more of Lupin and of what the man had given him.
Oh, there were probably wizards enough who would agree to have Severus at their feet. He had even tried. Several times. It hadn't worked. Only Lucius had what it took to make Severus feel safe in his submission, but Lucius had married, and that was the end of it. Until last night, Severus hadn't been able to let go of himself enough to plunge into his deepest desires. Not until Severus had seen the wild beast look out at him from Lupin's glittering eyes. Not until he had found safety in Remus' arms.
Severus thought it was possible to both hate and want at the same time. That, he had tried too. She had died, and that was the end of it too. Almost.
Remus moaned loudly as the man on top of him impaled himself on his cock. Thank God for erection spells and potions! Remus closed his eyes, pretending it felt fantastic. 'Damned, Amycus! You're so good,' he managed, pushing up in the man's arse. He arched up, careful not to scratch the customer. He scared easily, Amycus. While Moony was doing his work, one hand working Amycus's cock, the other caressing one substantial thigh, Remus was busy planning what he wanted for dinner. He let out a deep moan, again careful not to let it sound like a growl. Amycus only dared come for Moony's services during new moon, and not even then did he let go of his fear of the wolf. Remus had often wondered why the chubby little man came at all. Maybe to impress his colleagues. Remus, on the other hand, wasn't impressed. Appalled was more like it. Moony didn't care, he just performed. At least Amycus had no odd wishes like being dressed like a House-elf and getting his hands ironed. That was a comfort.
Remus decided that a nice omelet with tomato salad on the side would suit him fine. He let out some more moans and moved his hips a bit faster, synchronising the movement with the tugs on Amycus' prick. Remus hated to do Amycus. If turn-off had a name, it would definitely be "Amycus". Luckily it didn't take long before the man's piggy face contracted in a grimace, making Moony close his eyes and let out another moan and a husky, 'yes, so good!', whispering a spell to fill Amycus's arse with a semen-like fluid that had no origin remotely close to Remus' cock and bollocks.
Remus plastered on a soft smile to send Amycus. 'You are so...' There were no words that didn't feel like a lie, and Remus was an accomplished liar. '...wonderfully tight.'
Amycus grinned, his stupid face shining.
'I'll let some of the boys take care of you,' Moony smiled. 'They fought over who was to take a shower with you.' That was true, sort of, apart from the fact that the five young men who worked downstairs together with Oliver had been debating loudly who were the lucky ones to avoid it. One of them had been impolite enough to mention manatees in connection with Mr Carrow's name. Remus hadn't been able to find it in his otherwise kind heart to disagree.
Remus used some time in the shower too, trying to wash off the smell of another man's sweat and the feeling of being tainted.
The one good thing about having Amycus as a client was that Remus had most of the evening to himself. He didn't have to stay up late to entertain with anecdotes or his knowledge of Dark Arts. He didn't have to recite poetry or let an adventurous wizard eat strawberries from his body. So Remus had put his feet up, eaten the delicious omelet the House-elves had prepared, poured himself a glass of port and begun reading "The Wizarding Werewolf - Fur for the Future". The relative peace lasted only until Folly showed up and announced that, 'Sir is outside. Mr Snape is outside!'
'Oh,' Remus said and put the book down. He honestly hadn't counted on ever seeing Severus again, although he had silently hoped he would. Severus had disappeared without a word, before Remus had woken up, in reality violating the agreement. Remus had been more disappointed than relieved at the sight of the empty side of the bed. 'Ask him to come up, will you?' Remus had no illusions left or any modesty, for that matter, when it came to being naked. Nevertheless, he buttoned his jeans, found a dark brown cotton tunic and pulled it over his head. He thought it over for an instant, then loosened his hair and shook it out, making it spread like a soft curtain over his shoulders.
Remus wondered whether he needed to see a healer tomorrow since he was actually worrying whether Severus would find him attractive or not. He managed to arrange himself casually in the sofa before Severus stepped through the door.
'I didn't think you would come back,' Remus said softly when Severus stood in front of him. Remus didn't want to be a liar or to pretend anything; he did that far too often when working. He was tired of lies. His whole life was build on them. 'I hoped you would,' he added and cocked his head, waiting for Severus' reaction.
'I am not a coward,' Severus said. His eyes were burning with need.
'I know. I didn't think so, either.'
Severus said nothing. He felt like a schoolboy before his first kiss. He wanted this - indeterminable this - so much, but had no idea of where it was going. Remus seemed to be just as clueless.
'Come,' Remus said. After all Severus knew what he had agreed to.
This time, Severus didn't refuse. He just slid down in front of Remus. He moved like a line of a particularly beautiful line of poetry, or maybe like a bird in flight, hovering on the wind before it decided to land. Remus found it elegant.
'You realise it is my working day?' Remus said.
Severus nodded.
'Why did you come?' Remus wanted to know. Severus had come, despite he knew Remus might ask him to leave.
The black eyes were desperate. 'I couldn't not.'
'Severus,' Remus said solemnly. 'I have had another man today. It is what I do for a living.'
A flicker of something angry, possessive flickered through Severus' eyes. He still didn't say anything.
'I don't think you should come here on those days. I...' Remus didn't know if he wanted to continue that sentence. He did anyway. No more lies. 'It is not always pleasant, handsome men who visit me. I have clients who leave me... disgusted. Unclean.' Remus closed his fists. He didn't want to think about it. It had been worse, much worse, before he became Mr Moony of Notting Hill. When he was "you there, suck me off" in Knockturn Alley. There had been no choices, then. At all.
'So you don't want me?' Severus' voice was icy. 'I don't crawl prettily enough for you?' His head snapped up, anger building inside him.
Remus recognised an angry Severus when he saw one. 'You think this is just about you crawling for me? Not that I don't appreciate it, in fact, you on the floor is possibly the most arousing sight I can think of.' Remus smiled. Moony and he agreed wholeheartedly on that one. Remus licked his lips. It felt a bit foreign to be the one who was able to make demands, to ask for his wishes to be obeyed, but Remus knew how much he needed it. He couldn't have sex now, but he couldn't let Severus leave, either. 'I do want you,' Remus said. 'You, Severus. Not because you are able to perform a certain task I give you.'
Severus suddenly looked insecure. It wasn't just because... because Remus wanted to decide and have and take? Remus actually wanted... someone. Severus didn't dare put his own name on that place. He had thought it was just a game. A punishment. He wasn't sure if it was a good idea at all, to be closely connected to a werewolf who had no power and was barely tolerated in the wizarding world. But his need was above any cunning planning.
'I need to feel... wanted,' Remus said, sensing Severus' reluctance. 'That someone wants me, not Moony the whore.'
Severus wanted to say that Remus was no prostitute; say that he only did what was necessary. But Severus' own situation rendered him close to speechless. He wasn't used to feel this powerless. 'Just... just tell me what to do,' he said instead, unable to let go enough to do things by his own volition. He had to feel as if there was no way out. That was the only way he could allow himself what he desired. 'Please, Remus? I want you to.' Severus was wrapped up in the promise he had given Remus: that he belonged to him when he was here. There was no anger or sarcastic banter left. He had left it outside the house. Remaining was only the promise he had given to the man he detested.
'Show me you want me, then. That you are not here just for me to satisfy you.' Remus sounded sad, like the emptiness Severus had seen earlier had taken over his voice.
It hurt strangely. Severus abhorred how the light disappeared from Remus' smiling eyes. He looked into the golden eyes, and he knew exactly what to do. To make Remus feel someone wanted Remus the werewolf. Remus the loser. Remus the human being.
'Come,' Severus said and took Remus' hand as he stood. He led Remus to the bedroom, pulling aside the bedspread. 'Lie down and let me take care of you.'
Remus regarded Severus' face for a moment. There was no betrayal in the man's eyes, no hatred. Remus sighed and slipped into bed, on top of the duvet. He wanted to get rid of the memory of Amycus's body. Anything to take that away. Even to give Severus free hands by leaving it up to him what taking care of meant.
He found out soon. Severus went around the bed, pulled his robe off, and got in next to Remus, clad only in trousers and a thin shirt. 'On your side,' Severus demanded, and moved closer. Then thin arms were wrapped around Remus' body, and a soft kiss was pressed to his neck.
When Remus fell asleep, still fully dressed, it was to the languid rhythm of Severus' fingers, stroking tenderly over his cheek.