littleblackbow (littleblackbow) wrote in pervy_werewolf, @ 2011-05-30 20:27:00 |
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Entry tags: | #lmom 2011, author: littleblackbow, remus/severus |
LMOM 2011 Day #30
Title: The Beginning of the End
Author: littleblackbow
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Remus/Severus
Kink(s): kissing, sex
Challenge: LMOM 2011
Word count: 1533
Summary: At the end of Harry's 5th year, bad things happen.
None of them had any idea precisely what was in store.
None of them could have guessed that the life they’d lived together at 12 Grimmauld place that summer could never happen again.
During the Triwizard Tournament, Igor Karkaroff shared some startling news with Severus Snape.
And then Lord Voldemort returned. Cedric Diggory was killed. Harry Potter’s life was turned upside-down, and 12 Grimmauld Place became the center of activity for the newly-reformed Order of the Phoenix. It was a difficult year for everyone. A year of panic and constant vigilance. A year of not knowing who to trust, or what precisely were everyone’s motives.
The few moments Sirius and Remus could steal away with each other weren’t spent engaging in sex. They were spent comforting and holding, and wishing things were sane again. They didn’t dare contact Severus, for his cover was so deep, the slightest scent of either one of them on him could set off Fenrir Greyback, and then, in turn, Voldemort, himself.
Severus missed them terribly, but never showed it. Even at the few meetings he could attend - by stealing away during the year - he could only pass on tender glances and a raised eyebrow here or there.
There would be no notes. Nothing to incriminate him could ever be found.
But underlying all of it was a strong sense of hope. There was always a possibility that after this war was over, after Voldemort was defeated again, they could all be together. When he was gone, they could find their peace, and take refuge in it.
Life is never so kind as that.
Sirius was the first to fall. When he fell through the veil, Remus was there, watching him. He was holding Harry back, and at the same time, anchoring himself to the ground lest he be tempted to jump in after him.
Burned into his memory would always be that last, lingering expression. Something between shock, tenderness, and apology.
He didn’t actually remember the rest of the night. Some things happened. Important things involving Dumbledore and Harry and the ministry, but he couldn’t even think about anything but getting back home.
Remus was intercepted on his way back to 12 Grimmauld place the next day. He’d been wandering aimlessly for nearly 10 hours, not having slept for at least 24. Out near a cafe outside of London, Muggle London, somewhere near the East End, Severus Snape came up to him, dressed in Muggle clothes. He was wearing a new pair of jeans and a black cable-knit jumper. He put his hand on Remus’s arm and waited until the man looked up into his face. “You’re coming with me.”
A moment later, there was a loud crack of apparition, and Remus found himself standing next to Severus in a very small house with a crackling fire and shabby furniture. When the wind blew, he could hear the windows rattle and the roof creak. “Where are we?”
“Someplace that is safe at the moment. Where is Sirius?”
Nobody had told him. Or perhaps they had and he didn’t believe it. “He’s gone.”
“He is not. Where is he?”
“He’s...” Remus couldn’t bring himself to say the word dead. “Bellatrix Lestrange cast the curse at him, and he fell through... through the veil.”
Remus wasn’t going to cry. He didn’t cry when Sirius fell through, and he remained strong for Harry until he was sure the boy was safely back at school. He didn’t cry when he went wandering around London, and he had no intention of crying in front of Severus.
That is, until he saw the tears pool at the corners of Severus’s eyes and saw his lower lip tuck under his upper lip. “That... isn’t true, is it?” He said softly, his voice cracking.
Remus slowly nodded and let the tears fall. “This time it is.” He took a step forward and wrapped his arms around Severus, holding on tightly as Severus returned the hug. “I need you right now, Severus. Please let me stay with you for just a little while. Nobody else will understand.”
Severus nodded. “We’ll go through there, my bedroom.” He pulled away and took Remus’s hand, leading him into another room that was even smaller and shabbier. There was just one plain bed - mattress on a frame - and a dresser with a lamp on it.
They wasted no time in getting out of their clothes, and as soon as the two of them lay on that bed, Severus covering Remus with his entire body, memories of that year came back to them.
As Severus pulled on their cocks and kissed Remus, he thought about the times they would have sex at Hogwarts in any abandoned room the found.
As Remus pulled his knees up to give Severus better access to slip his tongue into his ass, he thought about the night Severus fucked him over his own desk in the Defense against the Dark Arts classroom.
As Severus plunged inside with little preparation and no lubricant but his own saliva, burning, stretching, driving himself home, he thought about the times when they would lay around lazily in his bed on the weekend, not having to be in the Great Hall until noon.
And then memories of the three of them at Grimmauld place returned. Things were great between Severus and Remus. They were fine. They loved each other, and could take time away when they could.
But when Sirius was with them, it was better. It was an exploration of love. Somehow the mixture of Remus’s kindness and gentility, Severus’s no-nonsense attitude and reliable nature, and Sirius’s playfulness and big heart seemed to work so much better than with just the two of them.
And both of them knew it. Severus leaned down and pressed a kiss to Remus’s chest as his thrusts became more erratic. He was close. Remus could feel it too. He reached up, draped his arms over Severus’s shoulder and pressed their foreheads together. “It’s okay. Let it go.”
Severus poured himself into Remus, pushing in deep and staying there until he was completely empty. He could feel Remus tugging on his own cock, as well. He leaned down and kissed Remus, pouring all of his emotion into that one kiss. It was enough.
They lay there in silence for a long time after Severus pulled out of Remus and rolled over to his side. Severus took Remus’s hand and reached down to pull the covers over the two of them.
“We’re only safe here for tonight. There is still so much chaos after...”
“Shhh. Please, let’s not talk about it.”
Severus pulled Remus closer to him and slid his arm under the man’s neck. “We need to talk. This... us... it can’t happen again.”
Remus knew that. He had felt it as soon as Severus brought them back to this place - before that. Now that Voldemort was back, and Severus would be with the Death Eaters all the time he wasn’t at Hogwarts, they couldn’t take any chances. One slipped memory, and it would mean his life. “I know.”
“It isn’t the same without him.”
“No, it isn’t. He and I couldn’t do it without you, either.”
“That is... unexpected, but...”
“Nice?”
“Remus, I didn’t have the opportunity to tell him how I felt. That is a mistake I will regret for as long... Well, I am not going to make the same mistake with you.”
“You don’t have to, Severus, I know how you--”
“I love you.”
Remus swallowed the knot in his throat. “Thank you.”
“This is a memory I will... remove.”
“Then I can tell you that I love you, too. Very much so.”
“Remus, it is unlikely that you and I can ever be together again.”
“After the war--”
“After the war, if I survive, I will likely be incarcerated for things that I must do to ensure the success of our side. I must be a Death Eater. I do pray that you never cross my path.”
“Severus...”
“All of that being said, I must ask you - implore that you do something to prove the unlikeliness of you and I ever having been together. In case one of my memories does slip, I could pass it off as a fantasy or a dream if necessary. They would not believe that Sirius would ever share any sort of affection toward me.”
“But they might question you about me.”
“Indeed.”
“Alright. I’ll... think of something.” He turned and wrapped an arm around Severus’s chest. “Don’t ever think that you’ve lost me, though. No matter what happens, remember what you said that one night in bed. Although half of my heart belonged to Sirius, the other half will always belong to you.”
Severus kissed the top of Remus’s head. “That is one memory that I will keep. I may have it tucked away deep in my mind, but I will keep it forever.”
Exactly one year later, Severus Snape killed Albus Dumbledore. When Remus heard the news, he knew it was the beginning of the end.