tetsubinatu (tetsubinatu) wrote in pervy_werewolf, @ 2008-05-02 10:43:00 |
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Entry tags: | #lmom 2008, author: tetsubinatu, kink: wanking (solo or mutual), remus alone |
Survivor's Guilt Part 1
Title: Survivor's Guilt Part 1
Rating: PG13
Wordcount: 543
Pairing:Remus/fantasy-OFC
Kink(s): Masturbation
Challenge: LMoM 2008
Notes: post-DH (sans epilogue) Remus is too depressed to be kinky, but I promise he'll get over it!
The endless days press down heavily on Remus. The war is over, and against all odds and expectations he - the great survivor - survived again. This time he even has something to live for. Tonks may have died, and Teddy... well, he doesn’t want to think about how he lost Teddy... but he has Harry and his friends, all loving and needing him as he has not been loved and needed in twenty years.
But the days press down and Remus cannot sleep, and yet he cannot wake; cannot rouse himself from this dreaming wakefulness into action or caring, nor deepen his languid dozing into healthy slumbers. He is ... caught... in this half-life and he thinks he might be going mad, but he cannot seem to make himself care. He is desperate, and yet his desperation does not impel him to action.
It might be easier if Grimmauld Place were the hub it had been during the war, but the Weasleys stay at the Burrow now, a cluster glued firmly in place by tragedy. Percy hovers on the rim, still unsure, but Molly is fierce in her determination to pull him in closer. Remus hasn’t seen George in weeks, maybe months. Sometimes Ron comes with Harry, or Bill. Remus isn’t quite sure why Bill comes. It is too much trouble to ask. There is always food. Kreacher organises it, he thinks. It isn’t fancy - bread from which he tears large chunks, cheese and cold meats. Soup sometimes. Sometimes he fancies that the food sits on the table a long time before he remembers to go and eat, but it is always fresh.
Sometimes he reads, but the words drift through his head in search of an anchor and drift out again. He doesn’t remember what he reads, but it is better than the days he just sits and stares at the grubby walls, watching spiderwebs drift in the cornices.
Hermione came today, her quick footsteps jarring him out of the accustomed pattern of his days. He agreed with everything she said, shared the tea that Kreacher provided, and eventually she went away again. He thinks she was talking about going to Cambridge, but he never really picked up why. He must have drifted away during that part of the discussion.
Remus turns again in his foetid, rumpled bed, roused a little from inertia by the visit, despite his lack of interest at the time. His knuckles brush against his limp cock. Perhaps... He considers. A wank is a time-honoured way to find sleep. He strokes himself, but cannot rouse any interest, and so he searches for a good fantasy. Marianne from Sense and Sensibility springs to mind. He remembers a close-up from the movie of her golden curls and full red lips; imagines her pressing up against him, dropping to her knees and looking up him with awestruck eyes before sucking him into those gorgeous lips. “Oh sir! You are so big! *slurp*” His lips twist into self-mockery, but then his face relaxes as he lets himself drift deeper into the imaginary world where his hand is the soft, wet, willing mouth of a gorgeous woman. He has to work at it, but finally he comes, scourgifies briefly, and slips willingly into hard-won sleep.
Part 2 at: http://asylums.insanejournal.com/pervy_
Part 1-5 in one posting at: http://tetsubinatu.insanejournal.com/26