psyfic (psyfic) wrote in pervy_werewolf, @ 2009-06-04 22:51:00 |
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Entry tags: | #lmom 2009, author: odogoddess, kink: adultery, kink: bestiality, kink: genderfuck, remus/severus |
LMoM(COMPLETE)#34 (2 of 2) by odogoddess - 'At the end of the day in a dream that's divine...'
Title: July 1997 - May 1998, 'At the end of the day in a dream that's divine...'
Author: psyfic
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Remus/Severus
Kink(s): adultery, bestiality, genderfuck
Challenge: Lusty Month of May 2009
Word count: 6,190
Author's note: Sorry, it's been hellish here today, and as you can see from the time stamp, our router was still down (possibly dead), so this had to wait until I could get back somewhere with net access, but I hope the wait has been worth it.
Thank you so much for your patience and for making it through the end.
If you are reading this for the first time, please go to the first entry and start reading there. Otherwise, this saga may not make any sense at all. Thanks!
Disclaimer: There is a bit of dialogue from Deathly Hallows in this entry, for which I beg pardon of JKR, in the unlikely event she should find herself reading this bit of HP porn fic. That dialogue is entirely JKR's and nought to do with me. The rest of this travesty fic, I take full responsibility for.
30 July 1997
'I see.'
It was all Severus said, but his tone and expression were grave. I felt desperate.
'I told her I had feelings for someone else. I told her I'd been cheating on her. I didn't say with whom, but she assumes it's a werewolf or other dark creature.'
'She would be correct in that last assessment,' he said dryly. I smiled. Then I sobered.
'Severus, I told her I intended on continuing my affair, so there was no point in continuing the charade of our marriage.'
'Then she told you she was up the duff.'
He sighed, his black eyes hooded as he leaned his chin onto his hand at his table.
'Women are very good at withholding information until it serves their best purpose to reveal it,' he noted now, finally sitting back and gesturing for me to sit as well. 'It's actually a trait a Slytherin can admire.'
I waited whilst he thought, fingering the object I held in my hand.
He had given me a Portkey, his mother's, a simple brass key, which would open the front door if it weren't magically locked. Instead, if I held it up, pushed it forward and turned it as if I was truly unlocking a door, it would take me to his sitting room. Reversing the action would return me. I had charmed it invisible, as well as the simple chain it hung on, and wore it around my neck.
I had no plans to ever remove it. Considering we could not marry in either the Wizarding or the Muggle world, it was even more binding than the wedding band on my hand, as far as I was concerned. We had even shared a bonding night with mutual pledges of love.
'What did you say?'
I blinked, startled from my reverie.
'I... I told her I didn't believe it. We've only been married a little over a month, and she claims she's a month along.'
'That's long enough, especially considering you two were likely engaged in relations before the event, were you not?'
I felt my face heat.
'Only before my moon times. I... I didn't respond to her the rest of the time.'
He lifted a brow. 'And she was willing to put up with that? She must either be singularly well-occupied the rest of the time, or else something of a masochist, although if it's that last, it might be used to our advantage.'
I shook my head. 'I still don't see how she could be pregnant. We didn't in the two weeks before our wedding. We were both busy and she wanted us to save it for the main event, so to speak.'
'You were married at Solstice, as I recall.'
I nodded.
'Well, that's certainly enough time.'
'But Severus, I couldn't... that is to say, I didn't...' My face felt as if it was on fire. 'I could barely get it up at all. I went soft when I first tried, and then it took ages to get hard again. She pushed me back and got on top of me and--'
'I really don't need a word picture,' he said with a dour expression.
'I'm just trying to tell you I don't see how. You see, I... I spunked before she could get it inside her.'
'I presume she had you at her entrance at the time?'
My blush had been receding, now it flared back to life. 'I don't know. I had my eyes closed.'
'Then it is possible that is when she conceived. Congratulations.'
'Severus...'
'I mean it. In any case, a Dissolution is now complicated, if not impossible.'
I nodded, feeling miserable.
He eyed me for some time, then sat forward and put his hand atop of mine on the table.
'I suppose I shall have to become accustomed to being the "other woman" then, shan't I?'
His tone was light, almost blithe, but his gaze spoke volumes.
Merlin, but I love this man!
Then he tugged on my hand and drew me closer and showed me just how much the feeling was reciprocated.
4 August 1997
Journal of Severus Snape.
The bloody fools otherwise known as my compatriots know nothing of subtlety or strategy. And for that, I thank Merlin.
Potter and his pair of tag-alongs were spotted in Muggle London and then followed to Grimmauld. Yaxley paid for his folly, being currently Apparation-addled in a room at St. Mungo's.
The trio escaped, but not without paying a price. One of them lost a good deal of flesh, and no doubt, blood.
I pray it wasn't the boy.
RJL here.
So much for my bright ideas.
It seemed perfect.
I packed what I would need, shrank it and put it in my pocket and told Dora I saw no point in living with her as if we were a happily married couple. Besides, her parents' home is rather crowded.
To her parents, of course, I said that Harry Potter needed me. Dora had told them we were having 'troubles,' but not clarified the situation and I would leave it to her as to what, if anything, she confessed.
They lauded me for my decision and Andromeda was, frankly, relieved.
She might have married a Muggleborn, but she was of a Pureblood family and her only daughter marrying a werewolf had horrified her. I could scent her distress and distrust every time we spoke.
She wished me luck and closed the door on me.
So I made my way to Harry's side without reservations.
I still cannot believe what transpired.
I thought they would be eager for help and advice. Instead my motives were questioned, and I found myself admitting: 'I -- I made a grave mistake in marrying Tonks. I did it against my better judgement and have regretted it very much ever since.'
Then Harry surprised me.
'So you're just going to dump her and the kid and run off with us?'
My resolve left me in my astonishment and suddenly I found I could not admit my real reasons, my relationship with Severus. I felt the need to protect it.
So instead I fell back to my secondary, although still valid excuse -- my status as a werewolf.
My arguments fell on deaf ears, however, and when Harry accused me of cowardice when I was here to join the fight... I simply reacted, perhaps over-reacted. I drew my wand.
He'd learnt defence well. Of course, his last teacher was a master at it.
I ran for it after he sent me flying, and kept running even after I heard him calling after me. There was no point. I could not live the charmed life I had imagined -- free of Dora, able to Portkey to Severus at need whilst serving Harry and his friends and paying back any Death Eaters for their perfidy.
There was no place now, but I could also not return to the Tonks' home. I would not.
So I made my way to the Shack. I could use it as a base of operations for awhile and strike out against the oppressors of my world with impunity... and be closer to Severus.
21 Dec 1997
RJL here.
I have done much good, at least I feel I have, in the months I have been fighting the Death Eaters and Ministry minions. Minerva was aware of my actions, as I sent her messages, Order-style and she kept me informed of events she would not tell Severus, who was also aware, but had other resources on which to draw.
Severus and I met as often as we could. It is fitting, perhaps, that the location of both of our ugliest memories, slowly became the location of our most beautiful.
However, after he informed me of Luna Lovegood's abduction -- from the Hogwarts Express itself -- he suggested I go to the Tonks' home, and I suddenly realised it was nearing the holidays. The war had made the time blur and most days were meaningless to me, measured only in the hours Severus and I were able to steal to be together.
I had honestly not noticed it neared Christmas.
'I cannot leave the school. It would be questioned,' he pointed out. 'Her family will wonder if you do not return, at least for a day or two around this time.'
Yes, my love was wise and generous as I had noted before.
Dora flung herself into my arms at the door, in tears, much as I had expected, although what I had not expected -- rather stupidly, I admit -- was how very large and ungainly she would be.
'How did you hear? It was just this morning,' she wailed.
Andromeda came from the other room. Her robes were torn over her breast and she bore ashes from the family Floo upon her face. Then I knew.
'How did it happen?'
She scowled, but there was little effort behind it.
'He did like you. He was trying to stop the Muggleborn registry. They killed him. They claimed he had threatened a Ministry official and his death was in self-defence, but they murdered him. My Ted! Ted!'
Dora went to her, to hold her, and I suddenly realised I would be needed here. Much as I did not wish to be, I was needed. These two needed protection now.
My flesh and blood lay within this woman's womb and the beast in me recognised the need to protect it.
25 Dec 1997
Journal of Severus Snape.
After the gathering last night, due to the boy's foolish actions at Godric's Hollow, I did not expect to be able to enjoy the holiday, but to my surprise, the Dark Lord bid me and the Carrows to return to the school and mind our duties.
I was glad to be shut of the business, although worried for Potter. If he was captured, if he was killed... the efforts of so many would be for nought.
I was finishing my paperwork, dealing mostly with the ever-increasing and ever-changing Ministry rules and regulations, when the silvery Patronus flew into the room.
'Well, well.' I set down my quill and extended my arm.
The majestic raven made of light and my lover's magical will alighted.
It opened its beak, but instead of a squawk, it spoke.
'I'm at our place.'
RJL here.
Severus arrived faster than I could credit. He practically ran through the narrow tunnel and then I could smell him, his wonderful scent, which spoke of need and hope and love and desire.
'Remus?'
I answered him by rushing into his arms.
'Happy Christmas, love,' I whispered against his slightly bewhiskered cheek.
'It is now.'
9 Jan 1998
Journal of Severus Snape.
This momentous year, my day of birth happens to lie but three days before a full moon. We had made good use of this fact last night. His randy, rambunctious nature in the days leading up to full moon was part of what I truly appreciated about Remus.
I sent him his first dose of Wolfsbane yesterday. One advantage of being Headmaster is the use of the Headmaster's private laboratory. There have been Potions Masters or simple brewers as Headmasters before, and in point of fact, Albus was an exceedingly good Potions maker himself. The Headmaster's tower, is, in fact, home to many varied rooms of as many differing uses as there have been Headmasters.
Another advantage was being able to send for ingredients without oversight. As such, I had been able to supply Wolfsbane most of the term.
The final advantage was yet to be determined, but I was, oddly, looking forward to it.
13 Jan 1998
RJL here.
Most magnificent Merlin... I can barely stop my hands from shaking to write this down.
Severus stayed with me last night.
I was surprised when he said he would, but after I'd undergone the change, I could scent his intense curiosity, as well as tempered fear... and burgeoning desire.
'You said you can understand in this form,' he said, slowly moving toward the spell-reinforced and well-scourgified bed we had made much use of over the months.
Then he began removing his clothes and I could feel myself panting.
'I wish to know you, Remus. In your entirety.' He finished undressing and then lay back atop the bed. 'And I wish for you to know me.'
I moved with slow deliberateness, so as not to startle him, and then leapt lightly onto the bed.
He watched me with his large, dark eyes and I tried to smile, but was sure it wasn't obvious to him. Instead I butted my head against his side and thrilled as he ran his hands over my head and between and behind my ears.
'So soft,' he murmured, and then leaned up on his elbow to rub his head against my chin.
I could not help it. I went hard instantly. He knew, Severus knew, what this signal meant. He was being subservient to the beast and the beast would have him.
Without a word, he languidly rolled away from me and positioned himself on all fours.
'Dear Merlin, please don't make me wait,' he murmured, and I could see and smell he was hungry for me, too.
I dipped my head to smell him and began to lick his cock eagerly with long swipes of my tongue, which was far more suited to this purpose in my current form.
He writhed and gasped and his hands fisted in the bed sheets as I curled my tongue about his tender bollocks, licking and pressing them with my tongue and muzzle. I was so hard I ached.
As he cried out and a small stream of pre-ejaculate oozed from him, I moved behind him and let myself smell and taste his delightful backside.
I knew Severus was a bit chary of this activity, but he didn't mind doing it when we bathed, and he really seemed to like it when I did it at any time, which pleased me since it was something I truly enjoyed.
My tongue was longer in this form and able to dig deeper, curling against that small opening and urging it to open to me.
'Remus! Remus!'
I drooled, then shifted closer and drooled some more, thoroughly coating the opening. My wolf cock had a great deal of natural moisture, but I had no desire to hurt him.
Then I began to position myself, wincing as my claws dug a bit into his back or sides or legs as I awkwardly found my place.
'Yes, yes!' It was all he said and I grew unbearably excited as I could smell the need from both of us, and feel my sensitive cock head nudge his wet opening. 'Merlin, fuck me, Remus!'
I shoved forward and slid deep into him and almost instantly began to come. I thrust hard and fast perhaps half a dozen times, and then felt and smelled him also reach his peak, thrilling as he threw his head back and arched beneath me, then I froze in place to enjoy my own orgasm, which was very different than the ones I enjoyed as a human.
'Ye gads...'
I panted against his back, wishing I could stroke him. I licked his shoulder and he shuddered.
His passage clenched around me and I whined.
'Remus...'
If I was in human form, I would have wept for joy.
10 Mar 1998
RJL here.
I'm not certain what possessed me, but I knew what I would do as soon as I found it.
It lay curled on a faded blue jumper I had packed away in the closet & almost forgotten. Lily had made it for me as a present one Christmas, not long after she and James had married.
I plucked the single auburn strand from the jumper and remembered her.
She had been kind, and sweet and lovely and it was only natural any of us loved her. It had been callous of James, and yes, even dear dead Sirius, to seek to punish Severus for daring to be her friend, for loving her. Still, nearly everyone had years of callow youth, and none of us were any different.
In the end it was his love that had enabled Harry to live, for if Severus had not begged for her life, You Know Who would have simply slain them both without compunction, without enabling the ancient magic that protected Harry from the Killing Curse.
It was his love that had driven him to subsist and suffer years of loneliness and self-recrimination merely in order to ensure Harry grew up, grew strong, despite his resembling, and acting, so very much like his father.
It was his constancy to her memory that had made him turn from any chance at family or happiness with any other woman, because she was the only one he had ever wanted.
And it was one thing I could give without compunction.
He had given me a new pair of boots, dragon hide, for my birthday. After trying them on and kissing him in thanks, as he moved to hold me closer I pulled back. He frowned at me.
I pulled the bottle from my pocket and handed it to him.
'Polyjuice?'
Then I pulled out a bit of folded parchment and opened it. The auburn strand lay within and I held it up to him. He swallowed.
'Remus...' his voice was both tender and pained.
'You gave me something very special two months ago, Severus. I will never ever forget it. I want to give you something very special, too.'
Compared to Wolfsbane, Polyjuice tasted mild.
I gulped down the entire vial and Severus's eyes widened in surprised admiration. Then the first wave of tremors struck, and I turned away from him, gasping with the discomfort of my skin writhing, bones itching and popping and swelling, eyes stinging and teeth shifting within my jaw.
It was not dissimilar to my monthly change, although not as long-lasting. Then it was over and I panted, finding it odd to hear my voice sound so different.
When I looked around, the room seemed larger, as well, until I realised I was several inches shorter. I lifted my hands to study them and found my fingers short and slender with smooth, unblemished skin, rather than thick and scarred and calloused.
'Mother of Merlin...'
I turned at the sound of his voice and looked up into his stunned face and smiled at him.
'Severus.'
He closed his eyes, hands clenching to fists and I was momentarily afraid I may have caused him harm, but then I noted his erection and, despite not being in my normal form, I could still smell the want, the need, in him.
I took one of his hands and gentled it open.
He trembled, but opened his eyes and I reached up with my other hand to touch his face.
'We don't have much time, Severus, and I don't want to waste it.'
I pulled him with me to the side of our bed where I began to undress him. After a moment, those trembling hands reached for my own very baggy clothes and I smiled to wonder what I must look like.
'You're so beautiful.'
I gazed up at him, feeling a bit odd to be so much smaller, and he leaned in, and then hesitated.
I bridged the gap and gently kissed him. The trembling grew stronger.
He pulled back to stare at me and he made no other move. His cock was twitching, though, and I knew he was very, very close.
'Lay back for me,' I requested, and was grateful when he just nodded and slid onto the bed. His cock was so rigid it did not even bounce with his movements. I hoped the Polyjuice would last long enough to provide the experience I had intended.
I sat beside him, and then bent, finding my long hair fell forward, obscuring my view, so I lifted a hand and tucked it behind my ear, then continued to take him into my mouth.
The sound that erupted from him was like a cry and a sob mixed together as he exploded, and I swallowed the streams of semen.
'I'm sorry... I'm so sorry,' he sobbed.
I ignored this, rubbing one hand up along his belly to his chest in a soothing way as I continued to tongue him, slipping the tip of it under his foreskin and circling the head of his tender cock. He twitched and I used my other hand to stroke him and fondle his bollocks.
He gasped and moaned and I was gratified when he never lost his firmness, shifting beneath me from time to time as the pleasure I provided overwhelmed his control.
When he began to fight to keep from arching his back, I let him go and straddled him.
He gazed up at me and his face was filled with wonder. I leaned over and gently kissed him, and then I pulled back and felt for his rigid cock.
It was very different in this form. The opening was not difficult to find, being slick with moisture, but it wasn't a natural angle and it took some work to adjust.
Soon, however, he arched up and I slid down and I felt the oddest sense of fullness. It was like nothing I could compare it to, but it did not hurt. It just felt peculiar.
Then he reached a hand down and, almost shyly, slid his fingers through the thick auburn curls to touch tender flesh.
I clenched up tight at the sensation, which was almost agonisingly keen, and felt my toes clench. It was amazing, almost like an orgasm, but without the climax. Were women truly so sensitive?
He stroked that spot again, and then gently rubbed it as I continued to hunch and clench over him helplessly in response. I could feel myself throwing my head back from time to time and felt my hair flying in different directions, but I could not stop the motion. The feelings were simply too intense.
Past the haze of sensation I heard him blurt out, 'I... I can't...'
Suddenly, the sensations amplified, and moisture flooded my opening, adding a new sensation of slippery abandon to our movements. Then climax struck and I was seized by a maelstrom of such intense pleasure that I screamed, even as my body gripped him tightly.
I simply could not move, simply shudder above him, my opening feeling as if it pulsed around him.
Then he tensed and I watched as Severus came, feeling the warmth fill and then spill from me.
He lay gasping for breath, sheathed in sweat, much as I was, and I did not wish to move, but I had no idea of the time and did not want to risk changing.
I slid off him and stretched out next to him, surprised at how tired my thighs were and how sore my hips.
He just watched, catching his breath, then turned and reached out a hand to stroke my hair back. He caressed my face, tracing it over and over.
'Remus,' he whispered with such love and reverence tears filled my eyes.
Then he kissed me.
I pulled back as my reversion began and soon I lay by him in my own body again, still a bit dazed from our shared experience.
His hand tipped my face toward him and he leant over to kiss me some more.
'I think,' he murmured after a few moments. 'My gift was not equal to the one you've given me.'
'Given us. It was what I wanted, too, love. And your gift was more than I've ever dreamed.'
He did not argue, merely nodded, and pulled me closer and we fell asleep in each other's arms.
25 Mar 1998
'Trust a werewolf's son to be born on a full moon night.'
Remus smiled a bit tiredly; events had conspired to rob him of needed sleep.
'Yes, and for Harry, Ron and Hermione to get captured and make their escape from Bellatrix Lestrange at Malfoy Manor.'
I noted he did not mention the obvious.
'She does as any mother would. She was protecting her family.'
'Via torture,' Remus finally muttered, lips pressing flat as if he regretted speaking at all.
I shook my head. 'By any means. What is said about Slytherin again?'
He remembered the school song now, humming until he got to the relevant stanza, 'Those cunning folk use any means to achieve their ends.'
I lifted my brow at him and he finally nodded. 'You're right.'
'Yes, and you are a father.'
To my surprise, anger and defiance darkened his expression, and I was astonished as he shook his head.
'No. No, I'm not.'
I waited for him to explain. He began to pace first.
'Dora told me, told us, Andromeda and me... she admitted Teddy was Moody's.'
'Mad-eye?' I was astonished.
'She said they'd been working together all hours that last month, getting ready for Harry's move and dealing with the Ministry which was in chaos at the time. It just happened.' He sighed. 'I've always known she had a soft spot for old Moody, but I never suspected.'
'Why did she continue the charade?'
'Moody was killed and she didn't want to bear an illegitimate child and I was the fool already beholden to her,' he spat out resentfully.
'This does make things easier, does it not? The Dissolution will not be questioned.'
He shook his head again, clenching his hands into fists.
'Andromeda said we should keep it to ourselves. The baby has a name, even if it's one she hates, and will never know its father anyway. We can get a Dissolution after his christening.'
I nodded. 'In the interim--'
'I've been kicked out,' he sighed. 'Freedom's never felt so good and yet so frustrating.'
'What does Andromeda plan to say about your not being with them at this supposedly joyous time?'
'To start the process of softening the blow, they're going to tell people that I questioned the baby's paternity.'
'Leading to a verification spell?'
'Leading to people saying what an ungrateful sod I am to my beautiful young wife and new mother.'
'Ah, I see. Then when you do not return, Nymphadora will request Dissolution on the grounds of abandonment.'
'Slytherin?'
'Very.'
He sighed and I pointed out, 'It does make things easier between us.'
He nodded, and then sighed, too. 'I never thought I'd have any children, but--'
'When, unwanted, you thought you had one, it changed things?'
'Perhaps a little, but I admit -- I'm rather selfish. I like my life as it is, without encumbrance. Probably the wolf in me.'
'Yet wolves mate... have cubs.'
'This wolf only wants his mate. He wants the freedom to explore the world with his mate, without worrying about what the cubs are doing or if they're getting enough sun, enough food, or enough attention. He wants to love his mate without reservation or worries about what the neighbours might think.'
I nodded. I even understood, but I wondered if such a world was possible.
1 May 1998
Beltane is an auspicious day. I was not sure what sort of omen it was to receive notification via my Dark Mark that He was coming.
I only knew I had to send word and, if possible, see Remus one more time before whatever was to happen took place.
I grabbed what I would need by way of preparations, marshalled my thoughts, my very memories, in case I had the opportunity to show them to the boy, and went to wait for the Dark Lord's arrival.
Severus's Patronus is a lovely, graceful presence.
He told me that as late as the holidays last year she had been a delicate, sure-footed doe. When I first saw it, the shape had been indistinct, much as my own had been for so long.
Now his Patronus took a very definite form, as did mine.
The silvery wolf was august, full-ruffed and clearly in his prime. Part of me longed to stroke his fur and rub behind his expressive ears.
I did try, but it merely caused the wolf to sit back on its haunches and open its mouth.
'He is coming. You must flee. Go to my home. You will be safe there. I can join you afterwards.'
~
It was Dora's face and voice that greeted me as I gained awareness.
'You're not supposed to be here.'
I came to full awareness as she sighed and added, 'You really should have listened to Severus.'
I shook my head. 'I couldn't leave him. I had to stay and fight.'
She nodded sadly. 'I know. I felt the same way.'
I looked around, and then realised I was nude. We were by a stream in one of the camps we had both lived in for so many months. Had it been full moon? No, I recalled. The full moon was still three weeks away.
'I needed to thank you... for everything,' she said now.
I sat up, as she handed me my robes, which I gratefully began to slide into.
'I also needed to apologise. I didn't intend to trap you,' she said.
'I'm sorry, too,' I admitted. 'I should have said--'
'No,' she touched a finger to my lips and shook her head. 'It doesn't matter now. Teddy has a name and for that I will always be grateful.'
I nodded.
'I really have no right to ask it of you, but... I hope you will let my Mum take care of him.'
'Of course, I will. Why wouldn't I?'
'I didn't know how you felt about things, but... without Dad, and now, without me, she'll need Teddy. She'll need someone to love and take care of.'
'Without you?'
She smiled a sad, almost wistful smile, and said, 'You'd better go.'
I glanced over to where she was looking and saw James and Sirius waiting for me. Then I noted Lily, stepping over a tree root to smile at me and wave a cheery hand.
The thought I was dead was not as troubling as it seemed, except I was truly disappointed at not being with Severus.
I turned back to Dora who watched me. She whispered, 'I'll never tell them, unless you do, that Teddy is not yours. It can be our secret.'
'Come on, mate,' Sirius called. 'We have to go talk to my godson.'
I looked to Dora who kissed my cheek good-bye, then turned to join my old boyhood friends.
~
I don't know how long I rested, but it seemed an age. It was a peaceful age, which was more than could be said about most of my life, and I appreciated it.
But after awhile I came to full awareness to find myself in the Shack.
Things always seemed to come back to this place.
This place I was nearly killed as a boy.
This place I learnt about love as a man.
This place it seemed would be my tomb now.
I sat up only to find I was nude. Fortunately, I found robes at the end of the bed where Remus and I had shared more than I ever thought possible -- our every joy and hope and fear and desire.
As I was finishing buttoning my robes up, I heard a beloved voice.
'Oh, darn. I missed the best view.'
I stared, astonished, at my lover and then went to the welcome of his arms.
'Remus...'
'I love you, Severus.'
I clutched at him harder, but he pulled back and I wondered at his expression as he shook his head at me.
'But you don't belong here.'
'Remus?'
'That's really all I had to say,' he smiled.
Then harsh white light began to sheet over my vision and I could no longer see him, no longer see my lover... or anything.
~
'Remus!"
'Easy, love. I'm right here.'
I opened my eyes with great difficulty to find a beloved, if bruised and begrimed face looking down on me.
'A bit worse for wear, but not worse than full moon, eh? You on the other hand,' he shook his head as his fingers finished tying a knot off under my chin.
I reached a hand up to feel the bandage, and recalled Nagini.
'What happened?'
'You nearly died.'
'I think I did, at least for a stretch of time.'
'Must be a fad, then, as I did as well.'
'Remus?'
'I'll tell you about it sometime, but for now suffice it to say I woke up in the Great Hall. It was dark, it isdark rather, being the night after the great battle where Harry apparently slew his snakey Dibs, and I was amongst a bunch of dead.'
'He's dead?'
'Yes. And, as I said, it must be quite the fad, because Harry was killed then came back, also. He said Dumbledore told him he'd had to face Voldemort and be killed so that it would kill the bit of Voldemort inside him. Then he could come back and return the favour, but this time for good.'
'Thank Merlin,' I sighed with relief. 'Why were you among the dead, though?'
He shook his head and pursed his lips. 'What passes for DADA at Hogwarts these days? Don't they know a werewolf is exceedingly tough to kill unless one uses a silver weapon, decapitates it, or uses the Killing Curse?'
'Amycus Carrow was not fond of teaching how to defend against dark magic or teach about dark creatures, but rather more interested in teaching the students all about using dark spells.'
'I see. Well, at any rate, after James, Sirius, Lily and I spoke to Harry and got him past the Dementors--'
'What?'
'Lily took me aside and congratulated me. I thought she meant about Teddy, but she meant about you. She told me where to find you and she said she'd pass along her thanks, but she intends to do it herself one day. Hopefully one day far in the future.'
I remembered now the anti-venom I had imbibed before the Dark Lord had arrived at the school gates and swallowed a bit painfully.
'Stings?'
'A bit.'
'I didn't have any dittany, but whatever you took made the wound crust up once the worst of the bleeding had eased. And I gave you the blood-restorative I found in your pocket. You're still too pale for my comfort.'
'Ah.'
'I suggest we go home now, where I can take care of you, you can see to me, and we can eventually live like the two randy old buggers we are.'
I was amused, but then realised, 'Remus...'
Severus's tone had made me grow cold.
'What is it?'
'Remus, I... I don't wish to go back.'
'What do you mean?'
'The school. The teaching. The rumours about my allegiances. The whispers of treachery, of torture, of murder. I'm weary of it all. And you... you are dead?'
'They thought so. Everyone knows you are, except me. Harry told Voldemort.'
'Then let us remain that way. Together.'
I gazed at him for a moment. I could scent his sincerity and his need, but not a sexual need. This was a need from the depths of his spirit. He needed time and space and the freedom of obligation he no longer had to bear, to become whatever he now chose, instead of being forced to live as others required.
'I have more than enough to travel, if you wish. To see the world, to learn of other places.'
The thought was heady. There was no one I would miss, save him. I could keep my promise to Dora. Teddy would be all right. He bore my name, and that was fine, but he was not mine and I did not feel beholden to him. The home on Spinner's End remained under Fidelius. No one would come seeking. We were two who had died. We might be missing, but in the aftermath of a battlefield, such minor mysteries happened. Our 'deaths' had been witnessed and would be thusly recorded and no one would be the wiser.
I finally drew in a deep breath and released it, feeling a sense of such rightness fill me I could have swooned.
'Yes. Let's.'
He also released a breath, and I saw something I had never seen in Severus before... true relaxation. His entire body found ease and I smiled down at him, stroking his beloved face.
Peace, I thought, suited him.
It would suit me, too.
I reached beneath my robes to find our bonding key. He reached up his hand and I took it in mine.
Then with a slight forward movement and a twist of my wrist, I turned the key and led us home.
~ Finite Incantatum ~