lmom day nineteen
Title: Suck Rating: r Pairing: Remus/Justin, hints of past Remus/Sirius, Remus/Tonks Wordcount: 1698 Kink(s): drug use Challenge: LMOM 2009 Summary: There are a lot of good things about having a stoner boyfriend. Notes: me and hpsauce are fic prompting each other every day. today's is "Remus/? - fluffy domestic sex in the kitchen - possibly involving baking ingredients :) - (esp. flour, because floury handprints get everywhere)" You get Mad Propz if you can see the classic viral youtube video reference. It's my favourite flash ever. Also, for some reason I like to write living in a muggle house Justin, this isn't the first time I've written it that way.
Remus knows when he goes home there's an eighty percent chance that Justin will be stoned. He knew on his first date with the blond that he was a stoner, and things haven't changed.
Well, besides Remus having the occasional toke.
Walking in the door won't tell him anything. Whilst a messed up Justin doesn't smell anything unusual, he knows that a sober person will, and so always casts a Dissipate spell. It's when he finds Justin, that he'll know. When Justin is stoned, he's very productive, always needs a project to be working on. When Remus comes home, sober Justin will be sitting watching telly, but stoned Justin will be building shelving, or doing laundry or painting.
Today he finds Justin in the kitchen. He's got a large bowl encircled by one arm, and the other arm is making stirring motions. Remus comes closer and looks into the metal bowl. It appears to be a stick of butter with sugar poured on top.
"Did you have a good day?" Justin asks, looking up from his concoction with the smile only a buzzed person can have.
"Fairly. Nothing different then yesterday to tell you about. And you?" Justin works shorter days then he does, but Remus knows that being a mediwizard is much more difficult then being a shelf stocker for George.
"Had a man come in, and he was completely covered in penis. Growing off his arms, his feet, everywhere. Mother fucker had like 30 goddamn dicks." Justin laughs, and Remus leans forward. With the metal cutting a line into his chest he moves in as close as he can to snog the daylights out of him. Justin tastes like weed, but over the last few months Remus has begun to like the taste.
"Sounds entertaining."
"Yeah it was great. Turns out his lover did it. It's always the lover, isn't it? Good thing we never quarrel, would hate to see what you could come up with." Justin continues to try to stir his bowl, but the spoon only spins the hard block of butter around.
"What are you trying to make?"
"Cookies. Thought they would taste great, plus I thought they would smell good when you walked in the house. Supposed to be a classic homemakery smell, right? Not that my mum ever made cookies for me to walk in on, but you know. All parents are different, right? Did your mum ever make you cookies? Anyway, I guess I could stop now. You're already home, and clearly I'm failing. But they'd just taste so good."
"Yes, all parents are different. My parents never baked cookies, but they always left a package of chocolate covered biscuits in my room when they went grocery shopping. I can think of other things that would taste good," Remus' gaze flickers to Justin's cock nicely outlined by his jeans, keeps his gaze there for as long as it takes Justin to notice, then moves on "But if you want to make these cookies, show me the recipe and I'll try to help."
Justin passes him the cardboard square. Remus has no idea where Justin's gotten it; they've never created a recipe box. It's not from his family, and if Justin's family doesn't bake then for all Remus knows Justin went to go talk to Molly Weasley while he was ripped off his face. The idea makes him smile, for all that it shouldn't.
"I've gotten as far as the sugar." Remus scans the recipe, a cup of butter and 3/4 cups of brown and white sugar are just the first ingredients. Justin still has a fair bit left.
"Oh, here's the problem. You took the butter right from the fridge, didn't you?" the recipe says softened, but the brick of butter looks rock hard. Remus points his wand at the butter and mutters a heating spell, quickly ending it before it turns all liquid. "You should be able to stir it now."
As Justin is stirring- successfully this time- Remus begins whipping the eggs into a froth. By the time Justin is finished, Remus has the two eggs ready, as well as the teaspoon of vanilla. He pours both in, and Justin continues to stir. This time it's much easier, as it's a liquid glop.
The last thing Remus has to measure is two cups of flour. It's a simple enough task, Remus finishes far before Justin has the buttery sugar mixed in with the eggs. He occupies himself by imagining what he's going to do with Justin as soon as they can get into the bedroom together.
"Okay. Ready. But don't pour-" Remus dumps the two cups in one rapid movement, and the flour poofs up into Justin's face like an atom bomb cloud.
"The flour all at once" Justin finishes. His face is streaked with powder and Remus can't help it, he starts to laugh. Unafraid that this boyfriend will snap at him for damaging his pride, because Justin doesn't do proud, he does mellow, Remus laughs until tears slide down his face. Look at his boyfriend in hysterics, Justin begins to chuckle. Each movement jostles some of the flour on his face and causes it to snow down, some of it still landing in the bowl.
Eventually Justin puts down the bowl to wipe his face on a dishtowel. "How much of the two cups do you reckon actually got in the bowl?"
"I have no idea." Remus was never really the baking type, doesn't know much about estimating quantity.
"That's okay. I'll stir this in, and then if it's too wet I can add some more. But for next time? Only pour about a third a cup in at once."
Remus thinks it's sweet that Justin is already planning a next time. He wonders if the man will be so certain when he's sober, or if this is one of the thousand ideas that Justin gets and does nothing with, too busy with the next notion to cross previous ones off the list.
Eventually the flour's mixed in, with a few more spoonfuls from the paper bag for good measure. Justin dumps an entire bag of chocolate chips in, ignoring the recipe's suggestion of half a bag. Remus watches with vague amusement as Justin flips the bowl over and the entire batch of dough plops onto the table. Justin starts tearing off bits of the dough, rolling them into balls and placing them on a tray. He rolls a small cookie and pops it into his mouth, rolls a second and places it on Remus' tongue.
"The cookie dough always tastes better then the cookie," Remus informs Justin, words slurred with a full mouth of food. Justin grins and agrees, continues to drop rolled cookies onto the tray.
"You have to join in, this is the best part!" Justin seems so excited that Remus can't help but move to Justin's side. The dough is cool against his hand, though it quickly warms as he begins to rotate his wrists in circles to ball it up. When he finally drops the ball onto the tray, his hands are smeared with melted chocolate.
"As much as I love the idea of licking it off you," Justin pauses to actually suck on Remus' index finger, "I really, really want cookies. So that means they have to make it onto the tray in one piece. So, advice? Don't dump flour, and don't roll the cookies for long. Only as long as it takes to make them somewhat round. They flatten and expand in the oven anyway."
Before returning to his own ball making, Justin takes a big lick of Remus palm to get some of the chocolate off. As far as sanity practices go, it doesn't come close. On the other hand, it's likely Justin's going to eat the entire tray's worth the next time he gets high, so Remus isn't much worried about germs.
Finally they're finished. Looking at the tray, Remus can tell which few mashed blobs are his, as compared to Justin's perfect spheres. Justin doesn't seem to notice, he only turns the oven on to the proper temperature. "We've got ten minutes. Do you want to have sex or would you like to get stoned too?"
Remus can't help but smile. Such a gentleman, is Justin Finch Fletchly. Still, a bit uncreative.
A minute later, he's sitting, back against the wall of the kitchen. He's got one of Justin's many pipes in hand- this one, metal with gold and black streaks is Remus' favourite to use- and he's lighting and sucking, lighting and sucking. The pot tastes sharp in his mouth, not as bad as a cigarette, but noticeably different from what his mouth normally tastes like. He's not nearly as much of a stoner as Justin, but he's grown to like it, both the effect it has and the indulgent knowledge that with the taste of it in your mouth, you'll soon be blissful, no matter what's just happened.
Justin's on his stomach on the linoleum, Remus' bollocks in hand, mouth stretched around his cock. He too is sucking, though Justin's got no lighter, and certainly no use for one. Justin gets a bit wetter and sloppier when he's stoned, but he also loses his gag reflex so all in all it's a good situation.
Justin's tongue dips into the slit of Remus' cock and laps at the liquid pooling there. Remus bucks up into the persistent touch, puts the pipe down and lets himself go. So rarely has he let go in his lifetime that it still seems strange how often he can do it with Justin. Looking back, his life could have gone much easier if he'd had a stoner boyfriend the entire time.
It occurs to Remus that this isn't what mum wanted when she wished domestic bliss on him for the brief little over a month he was married to Tonks. Bad sign, when you still call your wife by her surname, he should have known going in that he'd be quickly coming out. But that's all history, and Justin is his future, and domestic bliss is exactly what he has.