gala_apples (gala_apples) wrote in pervy_werewolf, @ 2009-05-07 15:01:00 |
|
|||
Entry tags: | #lmom 2009, author: gala_apples, kink: face shot, kink: voyeurism, remus/sirius |
lmom day seven
Title: Measures of Love
Rating: R
Pairing: Remus/Sirius
Wordcount: 1099
Kink(s): face-shots, exhabitionism, voyeurism, wanking, mention of heatplay. not a kink but a warning, homophobia included.
Challenge: LMOM 2009
Summary: Remus and Sirius are odd, and that is not okay.
Notes: me and hpsauce are fic prompting each other every day. today's is remus/sirius - floo!sex - erm, so a bit like phone sex but a little different - when they're separated for a while (like hogwarts-era in the summer or during missions in ootp)
It's the risk that gets them. It's so fucking risky, to get caught would mean devastation for their families. But the risk, the thrill that comes with doing something you're not supposed to, that's what they've both learned to thrive on. Bottom line, Remus wasn't supposed to come to Hogwarts. Bottom line, Sirius wasn't supposed to be sorted into Gryffindor. By the first night in their beds, they'd already flouted huge rules. Becoming the group known as the Marauders hasn't exactly taught either to do what they're told.
The risk isn't so much in what they're doing. There's no way that one can be hurt doing a floocall, and there's no disease they can catch.
The risk is more in how the people they care about would react to what they're doing. And that's where the trouble lies. Both Remus and Sirius have learned to dismiss physical hurt, Remus through his condition and Sirius through watching Remus and learning how to be strong. But emotional hurt is a different story altogether.
Remus' parents need him to be as normal as possible. They love him, care about him like parents would with a normal child. Remus is no idiot, he knows full well that over 60 percent of children bitten by werewolves get abandoned by families that fear them. His parents have never treated him like he's a demon, or a beast. But he sees how sad they are now. In all the photos they have of the past, muggle and wizard alike, they're smiling. But they don't smile now, they have an air of melancholy to them. While they've never come out and said it's because of him, what else could it be? Remus knows they know the statistics as well he does, that he'll most likely never find a steady job or gain the trust of others. They look at his future and see it bleakly, with only small chances for hope. All the hope comes from disguising himself as well as possible. To show any other signs of oddity would only doom him in their eyes, make them more depressed.
Sirius' parents need him to be as normal as possible. Sirius knows they once loved him, though they were never capable of showing it. His parents were never shown affection, so how could they be capable of showing him or Regulus? Now however, it's been reduced to tolerance of his strange behaviours. Many times that tolerance wears thin, and Sirius is caught in situations where both he and his parents are dripping with hatred, but neither want to say something and eternally doom their relationship as a family. They can barely stand him as he is now, if he showed any other improper behaviour they would become furious.
For a man to have sex with a man... improper and odd don't begin to describe how it's viewed in the eyes of wizards. James and Peter know, but only because they walked in on Remus giving Sirius a blowjob. Peter had nearly fainted, and James had avoided looking them in the eye for thirteen days, only snapping out of it when the moon waxed full and Remus needed them.
If either family found out it would be horrible. They already hate what they've become, the words don't have to be said for Remus and Sirius to know. Neither are anything like what their parents wished for when Elisa and Walburga gave birth. The Lupins would cry, all images Remus finding a rich wife so it didn't matter about his lack of career falling apart. The Blacks would scream, finally disgusted enough to call Sirius out on not being good enough for the family.
Despite the horror that would come if they knew, Remus and Sirius can't stop. Every night at five past two they sneak into the room that holds their fireplace. Grimmauld Place has several, but this allows Sirius to use the room furthest away from his parents and Regulus. The Black family don't have a full Floo connection, an inconvenience to many people. The official reason is it's been claimed undignified, but Sirius knows it's because father gets violently ill after going through one, and he'd never allow a device leaving his reputation spoiled in their home. Only head-only floos are allowed for emergency communication. It doesn't matter, it's good enough for their purposes.
On rotating nights, Sirius or Remus murmur the spell that allows them to meld with the fire. One watches as the other wanks, often providing pathetic but heartfelt tries at dirty talk. Remus doesn't ever get as close as Sirius, he finds it nerve wracking to have his cock so near the heat. But on the nights where it's Remus face in the fire, Sirius jerks off mere centimetres away. He suspects his boyfriend has a fire fetish, and is compiling a repertoire of spells to use when the summer is finally over and they can together. Not that he expects the first handful of times to be anything past a touch or two spinning into orgasm. After not seeing each other for two months, Remus half expects to be thrown on a bench and rubbed against until they come in their pants.
Remus can always tell when Sirius is close to coming. The hand not used for wanking starts to clutch at the skin and muscle of his inner thigh. At Hogwarts, there have been times when Sirius has clenched down so hard while wanking alone that Remus finds bruises the next time they have sex together.
Sirius always warns him. Though it's nothing more then a moaned Reeeeeemus, he knows what it means. He could move, Sirius gives him enough of a warning that Remus could shift his face out of the fire. But he prefers to stay in place, because when Sirius comes he doesn't move an inch. His come shoots directly into the fire, and the fluid spreads over Remus face. For those few moments Remus feels like he's actually with Sirius.
They claim it's about the thrill of risk. It's easier that way. But the truth is, they love each other and two months alone is too long. They can't do it, even if the possible outcome is being outed. Every minute they spend together at night is another moment of memory that sustains them during the day. Every time Elisa makes breakfast with a look of sorrow on her face, every time Walburga screams at Sirius for wearing muggle trousers instead of wizard robes, they think of each other. Because their parents love them, but some love burns.