Summer Born (summerborn) wrote in pervy_werewolf, @ 2009-05-06 23:58:00 |
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Entry tags: | #lmom 2009, author: summerborn, remus/tonks |
LMOM #6: Bits of Blue and Gold (R)
Title: Bits of Blue and Gold (6 of 31)
Author: summerborn
Rating: R
Pairing: Remus/Tonks
Kink: Er... none.
Challenge: Lusty Month of May 2009
Author Notes: Some will call this AU since Remus (and others, later) are alive post-war. For me, it is canon through HBP. You may wish to start at the beginning of the story.
Word count this episode: 625
Tonks' naked body was pressed up against his, and somehow it only made Remus want to cover both of them up. She shifted against him again. "What's the matter, Remus?"
He did pull a blanket across the bed, then. His body gave a small shiver of frustration, but he was rapidly cooling down thanks to the realization he'd had that this sort of behavior was going to make dealing with Tonks that much more difficult, and the less of it the better off he would be. Also, the fact that he didn't exactly feel comfortable with her was a big clue as well.
As if you never got off with someone you weren't comfortable with. That wasn't the point, the point was that he could make the right decision now...
"Nothing, Nymphadora." He petted her head in a lame attempt at comfort, and she immediately leaned up onto her elbow to look at him.
"Remus Lupin, when you use that tone of voice I know that there is most certainly something wrong. You can tell me anything, you know."
He sighed. There was still part of him that wanted very much to shove all that emotional blather to the side, and enjoy her physical company while he could. She was obviously willing... in fact, she'd already had hers, and the way her breasts had slid around his prick had been more excitement than he'd seen in quite a long time.
But there was the fact that he felt like a stranger to himself when he kissed her; the fact that whenever she turned adoring eyes to him or started talking about the future or how happy she was, he got a tight knot in his chest as if to signal him that he was clearly on the wrong path. He could feel the knot clawing its way towards his throat right now, and if he didn't do something to fix the cause of it, he would have to put up with it for the rest of his life.
"Tell you anything?"
She nodded, eyes wide and solemn. Even completely naked and sated with afterglow, he couldn't help but think of how young she looked.
"Nymphadora... I'm not in love with you."
She nodded again. "I know, you've told me before. But Remus, I know you're a good man, and you wouldn't be here with me now if–"
"If you hadn't thrown yourself at me the moment you walked in the door." He winced. "That wasn't what I..."
"Don't say it wasn't what you meant, Remus," Tonks responded, calmly enough though she seemed to have to get a grip on her tone of voice. "You don't need to sugar-coat the way you say things to me. I can handle it, I've told you that."
"Tonks. You keep saying that I wouldn't be with you if I didn't really love you, somewhere inside me, but... well, I've told you for a year now that we shouldn't be together. I've come up with everything I could think of to convince you I was telling the truth."
She was silent for a long moment. He wondered what he could say next, and then he noticed her hand trembling slightly where she was supporting herself on the bed. "Tonks, I..."
"You picked now," she whispered. Her face was completely void of feeling, which almost made Remus want to take it all back. She went on, "You pick now to convince me? That you would bring it up in the middle of this tells me more than you could know."
"Tonks," he began, but she was standing up, and collecting her things, with tears streaming down her face now, and there was absolutely nothing, nothing he could do to help her now.
Continued in part 7.