psyfic (psyfic) wrote in pervy_werewolf, @ 2009-05-05 23:54:00 |
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Entry tags: | #lmom 2009, author: odogoddess, kink: bestiality, kink: dream sex |
LMoM #5 by odogoddess - 18 - 21 Oct 1975
Title: 18 - 21 Oct 1975
Author: psyfic
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Remus/m
Kink(s): bestial violence, bestiality, sex dream
Challenge: Lusty Month of May 2009
Word count: 728
18 Oct 1975
RJL here. Exhausted.
Worst moon ever.
Prof. Flitwick wasn't in last night.
If I can, I'll write more later.
21 Oct 1975
RJL here. For the first time since I started using the Shrieking Shack, I wanted to go alone.
I dread that place, but this last time I dreaded going with Pomfrey.
I could smell her. She was having her own moon time. It was clear as crystal to me and my senses. And I wanted her. Or the other half of me did. I've never seen her that way, but that night I could have done something horrible.
She might have sensed something, because she didn't go all the way with me, just bade me step in and then closed the tunnel off behind me. I barely made my way inside the Shack before I changed.
When I changed back the next morning, I woke up to a horrible sound. Something was crying and bleating and there was blood everywhere.
A clawed up goat was in the room with me. One of his back legs was broken. I could see its entrails through one horrible wound.
Somehow I'd found a goat and brought it to the shack. It lay dying.
As I got closer I could smell something else and saw that the goat's hind legs were smeared with... spunk. I began to get sick. I had not dragged it to the shack to eat it. I had dragged it to the shack to...
I am a monster.
I've tried to deny it, but it's true.
The goat died before Pomfrey came. I cleaned it up before she came. I couldn't bear it if she had seen what I'd seen.
How could anyone understand that?
I've been sick since that day, but my friends think it's my Furry Little Problem (FLP). Well, it is, but not the way they think. I couldn't bear to see the lot of them and sent them from the Infirmary.
Yesterday Lily came to visit and bring me her notes from Potions and Ancient Runes and I pretended to be asleep. I especially couldn't let someone so kind be alone with something like me. I disgust myself.
It's taken all this time till I could write this down. I might burn this stupid journal after term.
I have to do something. I'll talk to Prof. Flitwick, but I might also speak to the Headmaster. He's a very powerful wizard. Maybe he knows of something. Something that can stop me from doing monstrous things.
I'm scared. I don't want to be a monster. If I can do things like that, I AM a monster.
I've had horrible dreams every night since full moon.
In some I'm ripping that goat apart. I'm angry at it for revealing what a disgusting thing I am. I'm laughing as I tear it apart limb from limb. I wake up shaking and sweating and worst of all -- hungry.
I've been sick every day since full moon as well. Sicking up and unable to hold my food down, even though I'm ravenous. Madam Pomfrey gives me nutrient potion and it's the only thing I can keep down. She sat by me and told me it was understandable. She had seen the goat and thought I felt bad for killing it.
She's still in her moon time and doesn't know I feel bad for knowing that and for so much more. My senses are receding finally and I'll be glad of it. They only reveal my inhumanity.
The dream I had last night, though, was worse.
I'm... I was fucking the goat. I was holding its leg with my claws as I shoved my prick deeper and deeper inside it. It was bleating and crying and begging. I began to spunk as I realised it was BEGGING. It was begging me, because it was a man, not a goat. A naked man and I was buggering him and spunking and I woke up screaming.
Madam Pomfrey came round before I could clean myself up and she gave me Dreamless Sleep and bade me drink it before I could sort myself. When I woke up she had changed me and my bedding.
I've never felt so small or so humiliated in my whole life.
Yet there's a part of me that feels I deserve it.
On to entry #6