Entry tags:

#lmom 2008, author: unbroken_halo, kink: wanking (solo or mutual), remus/bill/neville

LMOM#24: The Regrets
Title: The Regrets
Rating: R
Pairing: Remus/Neville/Bill
Kink(s): Wanking, Fantasy sex
Word Count: 686
Challenge: Lusty Month Of May
Notes: Continuation of The Nature Of The Pack Series, begins here

The Regrets

Neville stepped out of the shower stall and reached for a towel, scrubbing it across his head. He dragged it down his back then cinched it round his waist before padding out to his bedroom. He stared at the bed and could almost see the ghostly images of Bill and Remus wrapped in an embrace and beckoning him to join them, their nude bodies sprawled across his flannel sheets. Merlin, he wished it were so. Neville missed them already and it had only been a few short hours.

Wondering what he’d done to make Remus so upset, Neville had thought over every thing that had happened. He still couldn't figure it out. Maybe he shouldn’t have stayed after Remus had lost control. Perhaps Snape had been right about the nature of the relationship. As he and Bill had breakfast, he’d decided to leave them alone because he’d realized he’d once again pushed things too far by telling them how he felt. It didn’t matter that Remus had uttered those words he’d longed to hear that morning. He shook his head then sighed.

Pulling the towel from his waist and tossing it back to the bathroom, Neville climbed on to the bed. Wrapping his arms around his pillows, he buried his face in the fluff for a moment.

Memories of their times together assaulted him and he rolled over, staring up at the ceiling, letting them play across his mind. He’d savour these scenes and treasure them, know that they would most likely be all he’d have.

Swallowing hard, Neville brought to mind Bill’s bright blue eyes and the way they would crinkle at the corners when he laughed. Their feral alter ego with yellow rings when Bill was aroused or angry came next and he sucked in a breath, biting his lip as he closed his eyes, fighting the spike of longing that surged through him.

Remus’s amber eyes superimposed themselves over Bill’s. Remus’s gruff voice echoed in his ear, debating with him and the fiery look in his eyes as they talked over tea and biscuits. Once again, their shadows joined him on his bed, insinuating themselves next to his body. Ghostly presences that weren't there at all but felt so real, a sexual sense memory that teased along his skin, filling him with want, desire and love.

Neville could almost feel Remus's strong jaw, just slightly rough with stubble in the morning rubbing across his face. He moaned and reached down, gripping his prick.

Hearing Remus’s rough, gravely voice encouraging him, Neville squeezed the firming length. He ran his thumb over the tip of his cock, spreading the bead of fluid over the smooth skin. Gasping, he stroked in long slow pulls, imagining Remus and Bill were there with him, their hands roaming over his body.

It was Remus’s calloused fingers that jerked on his prick just so and Bill’s hands that twisted his nipple that way instead of his own hands. He could smell them, and see them as he wanked, alone in his room.

He could almost feel them too. It was that real in his mind.

“So lovely. Come for me, Neville,” Remus’s voice growled low in his ear, the ghost so near and yet so far. Neville nodded and moaned, canting his hips up into his fist.

"Come for me, Neville. You are beautiful.” Bill murmured, this spirit curled by Neville’s side as well. Neville cried out, yelling their names as he came, his release splashed his fist and stomach.

The shades vanished, leaving Neville alone and even more confused and frustrated than before.

Neville panted then wiped his hand on the bed sheet, staring up at the ceiling once again. Why was he doing this to himself? They had never been his and never would be. Snape had been right, he just needed to give up. He’d lived alone before Remus and Bill. He could do so again. Now, he just needed to convince his heart of that.

“Fuck!” Neville covered his face and sighed, telling himself once more that, yes…it was over.

Leaving had been for the best.

To Be Continued