Entry tags:

#lmom 2008, author: snapelike, kink: rough sex, kink: sex in water, remus/severus

LMoM: The Diary of a Death Eater Whore, Part 18 (SS/RL)
Title: The Diary of a Death Eater Whore 18/31
Rating (this chapter): NC-17
Pairing, all-over: Remus Lupin/Severus Snape
Additional pairings, this chapter: none
Kink(s): Bathroom sex up against the wall, a bossy Severus and an extreme amount of clichés and soppy declarations.
Challenge: LMoM 2008
Word count: 3,300
Link to all chapters: here.
Notes: Beta by the lovely envinyatar15 and wonderful red_day_dawning.
Summary: Severus Snape returns to a post-war wizarding world without the Dark Lord. No matter the Dark Lord died, his followers still won the battle and the power to rule. In this new world, former Order members are forced to get by as best they can - those who haven't escaped - even if the occupation is not to their liking. Some have even become quite successful and sought after - like the infamous Remus Lupin. The question is: will this new world order make it impossible for love to develop and grow between two such different wizards as a Death Eater spy and a paid man, a werewolf whore?

Back to chapter 17

Sunday, 18th May, 2008 - A Clean Slate

'Nobody kisses you but me,' Severus growled. 'Nobody!' He pushed both Remus' arms up, pinning him against the wall; his back to Severus. 'Nobody, Remus!' Severus rubbed himself against Remus' finely shaped arse, grinding his cock into Remus' cleft. He wasn't hard, but he would be. The possessiveness and jealousy made Severus shiver from mere tension. He could smell Goyle's cologne on his lover's skin. It made Severus even more furious. Severus wanted Goyle's scent erased, gone, from his lover's body.There was a reason he had dragged Remus out here. Severus hated that Remus had treated Goyle the way he had, so tenderly. Remus belonged to Severus! 'Tell me again what you told Goyle,' he demanded, wanting to hear Remus say the words. 'I want you to tell only me, not everybody else!'

Remus was naked, his chest pressed against the cold tiles. Severus' sudden attack had taken him by surprise; just as he had been overrun by the anger and passion Severus expressed. Even the wolf kept silent. It recognised a beta that had been pushed into a corner, and now fought for what it wanted. Oh, it kept quiet, the wolf. Remus had enough experience with clients who took liberties to fight back, but this was Severus. His lover. His lover whom he had hurt by caring a bit too much about another man. 'I can only get out of this by letting you have what you want?' Remus murmured. 'Isn't that so?'

'You bloody count on me getting what I want!' Severus pushed Remus even harder up against the wall. 'And right now I want you to tell me what you told... him!'

'You heard it,' Remus tried. 'I know you did. You were there the whole time!' He desperately wanted to explain to Severus how it had been difficult never to attach himself to any his clients; that Nott and Goyle's kindness had left him like a small dog, feeding on the emotional scraps it could find. Remus' life had been bleak, and he had survived, lapping up the care he could find in the most unexpected of places. 'Don't you understand it was a goodbye to a man who has been kind to me when others saw me as nothing but an outlet for their needs?'

'I don't care!' Severus was shouting, his voice echoing against the tiles. 'Tell me. You are mine, Remus. Tell me.' Severus was desperate. Did Remus want him or not? Had he made a bigger fool of himself that he thought?

'Calm down, please, Severus, please.' Remus stopped fighting. He wanted to belong to Severus too, he wanted it so deeply and intensely that he couldn't express it in words. Yes, he could tell Severus that he loved him - it would be true, of course. He could say the words, try to convince Severus that Goyle was... he had been Goyle's teacher, and that was it. He cared, but not like he cared for Severus. Remus had loved Sirius and James. He had loved Dora, but not in the way a husband should love his wife. Apart from Teddy, Remus had never loved anybody the way he had come to love Severus: this rush of falling in love, head over heels, utterly, deeply in love. Remus wanted to make Severus understand how he had given him what he didn't have in his life before: love, and with that, hope. Hope there would be a better place for him in the wizarding world.

It suddenly hit Remus how he could make Severus understand, using a language that left nothing to misunderstanding. 'I'll tell you,' he said. 'I'll tell you how much I love you, but please let go of me. I want to look at you.' Remus kept still, doing nothing to inflame Severus' anger. 'Please?'

Severus got a hold of himself. Remus' quiet plea finally penetrated the flaring rage and jealousy. He breathed out, trying to calm down. His face was still angry; his mouth a thin line of anger and tension. The black eyes were burning, showing exactly how much Severus had invested in this; stupidly trusting a man who had hurt him before, and let others hurt him. Only, Severus still wanted Remus to say the words; to tell him he loved him; that there was no one else but Severus for him. 'All right. Turn.' Severus let go of Remus.

Letting out a relieved sigh, Remus turned. He looked Severus in the eye, not proudly or defiantly, but instead lovingly, trying to communicate to Severus how deeply he felt. 'I do love you,' Remus said quietly. 'I've never been in love before - not the way I am in love with you. If I were free, if I didn't love my son so much, I'd leave this house to follow you where ever you'd want me to go, and never look back.' Remus wanted to touch Severus, to raise a hand and caress his cheek, to kiss him and comfort him, but he didn't think it would be appreciated, not right after what he'd done with Greg. 'I love you so much that I cannot breathe, I don't know how I am going to take the next client and the next, because all I want is you. I've done what I've sworn not to do: I want to give you what I am not free to give, and it hurts me so much that I can't. If only I was free...'

Severus looked at his Remus, and there was no way he could ignore the pain and the emotion, so evident in every word, in Remus' expression. Remus was telling the truth, and Severus was loved. Gods, Remus loved him, and every word was true. What did it matter Goyle had had a small piece of that when Remus wanted to give Severus all he had and then some? 'You love me?' Severus asked again, this time softly. 'Remus...'

'I do,' Remus said. 'More than anything.' His eyes hadn't left Severus' face for a moment. 'Let me show you.' Without another word, Remus kneeled; in one fluent movement he let Severus know exactly how much he wanted to belong to him, telling him with no words what he felt. 'I am yours,' Remus finally said, his head bent down. 'All of me, all I can give, and even what I am not yet free to offer.' He raised his head to look up at his lover. 'But my heart... I cannot give you that. It is yours already.'

'Remus...' Severus' voice was a hoarse whisper. He reached out, cupping Remus' cheek. The rage and confusion faded away, slowly but surely, leaving only the desire he had for his beloved.

'Make love to me,' Remus said. 'Let's wash away what happened. I didn't do it to hurt you.' He sent Severus a gaze so smouldering it felt as a relief they had easy access to cold, running water. 'Make love to me,' Remus asked. 'Anything you want, I want.' He stayed on the floor, kneeling, that way telling Severus he was his to take. In nine years, no man had been allowed to, but if Severus wanted it, Remus was willing to give that as well. 'Please, Severus,' he begged. 'Please?'

Severus' eyes glittered. The sight of Remus submitting himself to him... it was lovely. And Severus understood. Somehow the words also became easier to understand, because no translation was needed to know what Remus explained with his body. Even if submissive, Severus was dominant enough at times to appreciate Remus' offer. He could have Remus' heart, mind and body if he wanted to. And Severus was greedy. There was no aspect of Remus he didn't want. He really wasn't one for sharing. 'Tell me again,' he demanded, wanting a bit of revenge for the many times Remus had made him do the same. 'Tell me you love me.'

'I love you.' Remus smiled. Thank the Lord, his lover wasn't angry any longer. 'I love you so much I'll explode if you don't touch me, right now. I want you, Severus! Only you!'

'I think I can live with that.' Severus sent Remus a wicked smile. What was it about that bloody werewolf that made him this soft? Maybe being told he was loved had something to do with it. Severus realised he was a bit over-dressed to be in a shower cubicle. 'Maybe you should just stay were you are and begin to undress me,' he said, sliding his thumb over Remus' lip. Severus had one or two brilliant ideas about what Remus could do while he was on his knees. But they needed a shower. As much as Severus tried not to be jealous, he did not want to touch his lover with another man's fluids still on his skin.

Quickly, Remus helped Severus dispose of boots and socks. They worked well together: Severus was impatiently ripping a button off his robe while he tried to drag that and his shirt off at the same time. Remus, on the other hand, had more success opening Severus' trousers and pulling them down together with his underpants. The clothes were thrown in an untidy heap, just outside the cubicle. Severus reached for the tap. 'Maybe you better get up here, so I can make sure you're clean,' he purred. 'When that's done, we can get you back on the floor. You look lovely like that.'

The water was steaming hot, and so were Severus' kisses. Remus didn't think he'd ever had kisses more demanding, obviously made to make Remus melt entirely, had he not already been weak when it came to Severus and Severus' touches. This new angle, a Severus who took charge and directed and took... Remus wasn't precisely against it. He was gasping for air, water and kisses making it hard to breathe. If Severus only knew how different their kisses were, compared to those he had shared with Greg. They had been about care and respect. Kissing Severus - or in this case: being kissed by him - was different. It was like throwing oneself into a blazing fire, not knowing if one would be able to escape it. Not knowing if one wanted to. 'I love you,' Remus told Severus again and again, every time Severus let go of his mouth. He whispered the words against Severus' skin, every inch his mouth could reach.

Severus decided that unless he was in danger of turning into a raisin, he'd prefer never to leave the bathroom. Two days before full moon, his lover was able to submit to him, pliantly washing and kissing Severus' body, keeping the wolf and its dominance away. 'You are so strong,' he murmured, nuzzling Remus' cheek. 'I knew I wasn't wrong about that. And you need to be strong to overcome this.' Severus' soapy hands slid over Remus' chest, further down, rubbing over his hips; around them so Severus could pull Remus closer, his hands kneading Remus' cheeks.

'Mmhmm.' Remus sighed, enjoying Severus' caresses. 'Strong enough to give you what you want.' Remus moved, closing the small gap between them. 'I want to feel you inside me. I want the slide of your cock, to make me feel I belong to you, as you belong to me.' He pressed his groin against Severus', hardening as their caresses got more intimate. He kissed Severus' chest, his nipples, his stomach, nibbling and biting his way down to Severus' cock.

At the sight of Remus back on his knees, water splashing over his shoulders, Severus had absolutely no objections. 'I'd like that,' he said. 'Very much.' He wanted to be encased by his lover; by his embrace or his mouth or his lovely arse. Just to feel him, to have him like that... Severus threw his head back, moaning as Remus took him in hand, only to close his lips over the head of his erect cock.

'Oh, yes!' Severus groaned as Remus played with him, licking over the head, sucking lightly. The tip of a tongue was pressed into the slit for a moment, then there was more wonderful sucking. Severus looked down, watching Remus swallow him, over and over, using hands and lips and teeth to - evil as he was - make Severus so close to coming, over and over, that he was sure he might die from pleasure. Severus couldn't hold still, but thrust into hot Remus' mouth, as deep as Remus would allow. Severus didn't force Remus with hands on his head, but instead used them on himself, pulling and pinching his nipples to add a bit of the pain that was the spice on any pleasure Remus wanted to give him.

Pausing for a moment, Remus stopped what he was doing and reached for a small bottle of scented bathing oil. It wasn't the best thing to use, but it was convenient, and Remus had no intention of leaving Severus for a second. Getting back to sucking Severus' long cock, Remus poured a healthy amount over his fingers, reaching back to thrust two fingers inside himself. The sensation made Remus groan loudly. He loved having fingers in there, just the feeling of something rubbing over the rim and the sensitive nerves there... it was bloody good. To have Severus' cock inside him? It could only feel better.

Severus couldn't take his eyes away from Remus on the bathroom floor, sucking cock and finger-fucking himself. Severus had never seen a more arousing sight in his entire life. It wasn't that it was hot. It was the fact that Remus, this way, was offering Severus everything he had, everything he was. And Severus bloody wanted it! 'I love you! I want you so much,' Severus moaned, close to incoherent by lust. 'Let me fuck you. Let me make love to you. Want you so badly!' He reached down and for the first time grabbed Remus' hair. 'Up. Want you now!'

As Remus had decided not to deny his lover anything, he let go of Severus' cock, and go up, turning to lean against the tiles, supporting himself on his arms. He turned his head to look over his shoulder and spread his legs invitingly. He was just as aroused as Severus seemed to be; a bit anxious, though. It had been years since the last time he had had a cock inside him. 'I want you, Severus. Anything you need,' he said, wanting more of his wonderful lover.

'Oh, not like that.' Severus' expression was one of pure need. 'Turn. I want to watch your face when I push into you. I want to watch you come, impaled on my cock.' Severus stepped closer and pushed Remus up against the wall. 'I want to fuck you against the wall. I want you to moan and whisper in my ear you want more. That you want me.' Severus moved with the elegance of a large cat, sliding against Remus' hard body. 'Would you like that, my Remus?'

Remus had to breathe deeply. Did he want it? God, yes! This sleek, determined Severus? Oh, god yes! 'Please. And now?' He wrapped an arm around Severus' neck, using a hand to rub some of the excess oil over Severus' length. It made him hiss in a decidedly catty way, making Remus even more weak for his lover. 'Slowly, Severus,' he whispered. 'It has been a very long time.'

'I'll be careful.' Severus put his hands on Remus' arse once more, lifting him up, making him lean back against the wall. Remus wrapped his long legs around Severus' waist. 'Ready?' Severus looked into Remus' eyes and positioned himself. He moaned deeply, just by the sensation of Remus' hole, prepared and slick. The moans became little ragged sounds as he pressed inside, still watching Remus' face while it contracted in concentration. Pain and pleasure. That was how it should be. Slowly, slowly, Severus pressed inside; Remus' muscles clenching around him. 'You feel so bloody good,' Severus groaned. 'Fuck, Remus!'

'Good... idea.' Remus could barely speak. Severus was hurting him, but at the same time, the feeling of being filled, and the slide of oil and the long cock inside him gave him a pleasure so intense and deep it didn't matter. It felt right! It felt as if he truly belonged to Severus; that Severus knew every inch of him, inside and out. 'Yes,' Remus breathed. 'Do that.'

Severus began to move; slowly at first, until Remus' channel had widened enough for him to go on. Remus was clinging to him with arms and legs; his moans sounding louder and louder as Severus increased the force and tempo. Severus kissed his lover, thrusting his tongue deeply inside Remus' mouth. 'I love this,' Severus managed as they became too breathless to keep kissing each other for a longer period. 'You are so hot and tight and... oh! Remus... love you... fucking tight...'

'I love you,' Remus managed. 'Just fuck me. Make me... Severus... want to have you come inside me... want everything... love... Merlin!' Remus cried out, not daring to move a hand down to rub his own cock. It probably wouldn't be necessary either. He could feel the orgasm in his bollocks, not just a tingle, but a cold fire; a mingle of lust and love and release, as it made him cry out, over and over: Severus' name; the promise that he'd always love Severus, that they belonged together... everything Remus had held back because he hadn't dared tell Severus of his dreams for their future. Severus thrust in hard, and Remus came; that moment looking up, looking at Severus, finding a love and tenderness in his eyes that undid Remus in a way he had never been undone before. Love... that was the greatest thing in the world.

The look of love and amazed wonderment in Remus' eyes made Severus smile in the middle of a loud moan. 'You're mine,' he said, and pushed inside his lover for the final time, then holding still as he came too, only making small movements to enjoy every moment of this wonderful orgasm, of the exchange of the deep feelings they had come to share in so little time. 'I'll never let you go. I'll be with you, always,' he promised his lover, just standing there, sated, satisfied, and deeply in love, caressing and kissing each other.

They still had a long way to go. They still had to fight a war. But they knew now they were able to handle the internal enemies: jealousy and misunderstandings. The outside enemies would be nothing compared to that as long as they fought together.

On to chapter 19