mutterings of a music history major (thescarletwoman) wrote in pervy_werewolf, @ 2008-05-12 23:54:00 |
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Entry tags: | #lmom 2008, author: thescarletwoman, kink: wanking (solo or mutual), remus alone |
LMoM 12: Lily's Eyes
Title: Lily's Eyes
Author: thescarletwoman
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Remus alone (implied Remus/Lily and Remus/Harry)
Kink(s): wanking
Challenge: LMoM 2008
Word Count: ~600
Summary: He encounters Harry for the first time and Remus's thoughts turn less than pure
Notes: Continuing in the same arc. Due to a meeting with a rather unusual woman, Remus finds that it's sex before the full moon that helps to ease his transformations. To Rose for the uber-speedy beta. :* (and also edited as I totally copied the wrong header for today. Whoops)
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The first day at Hogwarts is harder than Remus ever could have imagined. He has prepared himself as much as he could to walk these hallowed halls once more, but nothing could have readied him for the instant pain he feels walking through the corridors. All he can see are Lily and James and Peter everywhere he looks. He remembers pranks pulled in the hallways, of surprising Snape with a jelly-legs hex at the last possible second and running away before he ever would notice.
Remus remembers and the hallways serve as constant reminders of what he lost. By mid-morning, he's ready to march up to Albus's office and demand he be released from this contract. If he doesn't, he's sure he'll go mad before October.
Even the promise of the Wolfsbane potion once a month isn't enough to keep him here. He wants to retain his mind, but at what cost? To keep it one day a year, but instead lose it the other 28 days? No, he's not that desperate. At least, not yet anyway.
He feels like the walls are closing in on him. It's harder and harder to breathe as he shuffles from the Great Hall to his afternoon Defence classes.
Then, he sees him.
Harry Potter.
Remus's stomach does an awkward flip-flip the moment Harry walks into class. All he can see are those sparkling green eyes: Lily's eyes. The eyes he once saw looking up at him while he backed her against a wall on their rounds. The woman he has been in love with for more years than he cares to admit to. Of course, he was glad she wound up with James as they were the perfect pair and James could give her so much more than Remus ever could.
Still... he never stopped loving her in all these years.
Then, the green eyes walk into the room. The green eyes that belong to Lily. If Remus felt as if he couldn't breathe before, nothing compares to this. The air has been sucked out of the room and Remus finds his eyes are ducking back to Lily through most of the class.
No, not Lily. Harry.
Class isn't over soon enough. Remus races to his office, shutting and locking the door. He doesn't waste his time with lotions or oil, he grips his dry cock, stroking himself to completion. He's not sure whose face he sees before him: Harry's, James's or Lily's. They form a sort of amalgamation and it's a combination of the three names that he whispers when he spills into his hand.
Remus knows it's incredibly dirty to think of a thirteen year old in a sexual light. But it's not a thirteen year old that his mind sees. It's the man Harry will become in a few short years. It's the man who is the combination of two friends he has both loved and lost.
Banishing the semen and the scent of sex from his office, Remus slips down the stairs just in time for his next class of fifth years.
He's not sure how he'll manage to last an entire year. He's not sure if he can.