i totally get that. you can feel things out in pbads without committing if you want. you'd get a cousin in ~gbrel too. they're san francisco natives who come from a comfortable background. dad's a surgeon and mom's a teacher. pretty stereotypical upbringing. dad's family is from ohio and his father and brother (gabe's dad) are pretty controlling and not that pleasant. they did visit periodically over the years. everything else would be up to you!