i only just skimmed this but judging from what i'm catching, the main issue here is that you have to remember that your experience doesn't define other people's experiences. yes my spiel above can be applied to a lot of poc, but asian-american people have a very unique experience with racism in the west because of the model minority myth. i'm not going to validate your decisions or explanations, because to me they're not valid reasons to make the decisions that you did! i will however tell you that i believe that you didn't make those thought processes with ill intentions. racism comes in all forms, and it's micro-aggressions like these that end up wearing down on me the most personally. i think you made the right decision not playing him.