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Maggie Jo Sherman / Sif ([info]sifwheat) wrote in [info]paxletalelogs,
@ 2011-10-13 22:31:00

Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
Entry tags:sif, thor

BEST DAY EVER!
Who: Lucy and James
What: Lucy wakes up to the most incredible discovery and has to share it.
Where: James’ apartment.
When: October 13, mid day
Warnings: Awkward times ahead, brace yourselves
Notes: Prayer circle will be needed once this is all over.


Lucy was not the type to rise and shine. Rising was hard for her, the shining part even more so. Getting out of bed was a leisurely process that involved a lot of hiding under the covers and pretending that if she tried hard enough she could make the morning go away and go back to sleep. This never worked, but she held out hope that one day she would be successful.

Today’s rising did not follow that routine. Today she woke up feeling like there was a hairy animal suffocating her. She bolted upright in hopes of dislodging whatever beast felt the need to settle on her face. She spluttered and frantically waved her hands, getting her fingers knotted in the golden hair the beast possessed. This would have caused more panic if not for one thing. The more her fingers pulled, the more pain she felt in her scalp. Her panic froze, as did her movements, and she processed this information. She gave her hand an experimental tug and once again felt pain.

She quickly threw the covers aside and found a mirror. What she saw made no sense. She had a full head of long, beautiful, golden hair. It was far more beautiful than what she had before chemo. She’d never seen hair so beautiful before. Her skin, once rather sunken and sallow, was now pale, which was odd, and glowing. It radiated good health and vitality. She squealed with delight and did a quick happy dance in front of the mirror. Her wig wearing days were over! It was time to celebrate! Now what to do? There were so many options open to her, but only one really appealed to her. It wasn’t something she would consider on a normal day, but this wasn’t a normal day, was it? No, today was a super, wonderful, amazing day, and she was going to use it wisely. Besides, there was a part of her that was aching to see him. The ache was far more pronounced that the dull sensation she experienced when she normally found herself thinking of him. Clearly she needed to address this situation, and what better day to do that than today, when everything was going her way! She quickly set about getting ready, spending extra time on her hair. She still wasn’t fully able to believe it was truly her hair.

After hours spent preparing, she was finally ready to leave her apartment to go see James. She practically skipped down the flights of stairs that separated their apartments. The fact that she wasn’t winded after such an activity did not escape her. Rather than dwell on it, she decided to take it as a stroke of good luck.

She approached his door and knocked quickly. Rather than fidgeting nervously and worrying about what he would think of her, she waited patiently and held herself tall, her posture proud. Hopefully he was home.



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[info]torden
2011-10-19 12:39 am UTC (link)
"Don't worry about it," James replied quickly with a slight wave of his hand as if to brush the very idea away. "I was just watching crappy tv. You can stop by any time you'd like and I mean that."

He smiled at Lucy, a true grin without any hidden intentions or tricks he had used on women in the past. He was just happy to see her, happy she was sitting on his couch in his apartment, and more than glad that she stopped by to visit.

Leaning forward he patted his knees and glanced to his kitchen. "I have some chips and stuff if you'd like me to get you something. I also have some drinks. You want anything? Come into the kitchen, I'll get you something to eat, it's the least I could do after you helped me figure out that bouquet for my sister and surprised me with a visit. That's like a gift in itself."

He grinned but the back of his mind seemed to awaken. A gift in itself? Since when had he been attracted, truly attracted, to any woman? Since when had he been truly cheerful and nice to someone other than his sister? James brushed the confusion away and got to his feet, offering a hand to Lucy to help her up.

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[info]sifwheat
2011-10-20 02:01 am UTC (link)
An open invitation to visit whenever? She liked that idea. Now that she'd gotten the dreaded first visit and all that goes with it out of the way, she'd have to find more reasons to come down and see him. His smile was infectious, and she had to flash one of her own, though it was accompanied by pink cheeks and head ducking.

He wanted to feed her. She wasn't really hungry, but she didn't even consider telling him no. Having something to eat would give her a reason to linger longer, and she'd take any reason she could get to spend time with him. That feeling of intense longing and recognition had hit her full force when he'd answered the door, and it packed even more of a punch than it had the first time.

"Sure, that would be great." She unwound her fingers from her hair to place her hand in his. Her hand brought a large chunk of hair with it. There wasn't a word in any written language that could adequately express her horror. Maybe she'd tugged too hard, that could explain it, right? She hadn't twirled real hair in a long time, maybe she'd just fallen out of practice. Please let that be all this was. Her face turned fire engine red as she stared at the long lock of golden hair now twined around her fingers.

"Oh my god," was all she could manage to say. This was suppose to be the most amazing day ever, and she'd gone and ruined it by pulling her own hair out. She wanted to disappear into the sofa and never come out again.

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[info]torden
2011-10-22 01:01 pm UTC (link)
James blinked, unsure that he was seeing what he was actually seeing. But it was there, in front of his face, a chunk of Lucy's hair in her delicate hand. For a moment James awkwardly stood there, she didn't seem to be hurt by it but she did seem shocked, embarrassed, maybe even a little frightened?

Girls shed like crazy. James knew this after growing up with three sisters. Everywhere you'd go, you'd find their hair stuck to your clothes, your pillows, hanging off the side of a counter. It was kind of disgusting and James was happy his hair was short, it seemed to be a pain to always maintain long hair, but this... this wasn't the typical stray hair showing up on the elbow of your sleeve. This was a full on, very obvious, lock of hair hanging from her hand.

"Uh..." James managed to grunt out as he stood before her, his hand still offered but forgotten. "Lucy...are...are you okay? That's uh...why don't I get the tissue basket from the bathroom..."

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[info]sifwheat
2011-10-23 12:35 am UTC (link)
Lucy shook her head. "No. No, I'm..I'm fine. I must have just....pulled too hard or something." She instinctively touched her hair, smoothing it back with her palm in an attempt to calm herself. All that accomplished was pulling out more hair, a much larger chunk than the last one.

Whatever hope she'd been able to hold on to after the first incident fell away with every strand of hair that dropped from her scalp. Her lower lip began to quiver and her eyes welled with tears.

She looked up at him with watery blue eyes and shook her head, clutching the hair in her hand and standing. "I have to go. I have to go home, I have to get out of here and I have to go home."

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[info]torden
2011-10-23 12:57 am UTC (link)
James' jaw dropped as more hair came from Lucy's head but what struck him to the core was her tear-filled eyes and trembling lip. "Oh, Lucy," he said in a soft voice. A voice that was secret and only shared with those he was closest with. He reached for her, gently touching her cheek and then her shoulder, as if he was afraid of hurting her or causing her further injury from whatever it was she was suffering from.

"I don't think it would be a good idea for you to go home right now. Why don't you stay here, or I'll go with you, I don't think you should be by yourself. Do you want me to call a doctor? I can get you some help. Do you feel sick? What should I do?" He knelt down in front of her, his hand reaching for her's and taking it, hair and all. "Please don't cry."

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[info]sifwheat
2011-10-23 01:21 am UTC (link)
She dropped back on the couch as he knelt, constantly shaking her head. She covered her eyes with her free hand and held his hand tightly with the other one. "No, no doctors. Please no doctors. I'm so tired of doctors, they can't fix it." After all her time spent in the hospital and in and out of doctors offices, she had developed a bit of a phobia of them. Going to the doctor always led to something be wrong or something bad.

She uncovered her eyes and touched her hair again, bringing more hair away from her head. She touched her head and felt a bald spot on her scalp and couldn't stop herself from sobbing. She knew this quick regrowth of hair wasn't typical, but she thought maybe she'd just gotten lucky. She'd gotten a brand of luck all right, but it wasn't good luck. This was one of the worst strokes of bad luck she'd ever experienced.

"I'm sorry. I can't not cry. My hair is falling out, and it's making me very sad. I'm afraid I'm going to have to cry." She sniffled and tossed the hunks of hair into her lap, staring at the beautiful golden hair with mournful eyes. "It was so pretty, too."

If she'd been able to see her reflection, she would have been crushed to learn that her reflection had lost its healthy appearance. Her cheeks had lost their fullness and color. She had returned to her previous appearance, one of a person who was still recovering from a major ordeal.

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[info]torden
2011-10-23 02:55 am UTC (link)
Panic was quickly rising in James' chest and he gripped Lucy's hand tighter as he witnessed her hair literally falling out. "This has happened before?" James squeaked before turning large eyes to Lucy's. He reached out, his hand just barely touching a wisp of hair that fell upon the contact and he fought back the need to gasp. "I'm...I'm sorry. Lucy, I don't know what to do, tell me what I should do."

He felt a growing need to protect her, it was near blinding, he had to protect her. From what, exactly, he wasn't sure. Maybe it was the pain she was feeling, the loss of her golden hair, maybe it was to protect her from whatever ailment she was experiencing.

"No doctors then? You're sure you don't need a doctor? What is this that they can't fix?" He rambled as he pushed away from the floor and sat beside her on the couch. Her hair was falling everywhere and gently, he began to pick it up, gathering it from her lap before placing it out of sight. He rubbed at her back, looking around his apartment as if it would hold directions of what he could do next. But he knew, for the moment, that one thing he could do would be to sit beside her and most certainly not leave her side.

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[info]sifwheat
2011-10-23 03:27 am UTC (link)
She wiped her eyes and fell against him, burying her face in his chest with a sob. "No doctors," she mumbled into his shirt. "If they saw me with hair they'd want to run all kinds of tests and I totally don't want to spend anymore time in the hospital. I don't like them."

She turned her head so her words would no longer be muffled and took a deep, shuddering breath, locking her arms around him. This really wasn't appropriate second encounter behavior, but this wasn't an appropriate sort of encounter. She was being really rude and shedding her hair all over his house. It wouldn't hurt to be a little more rude and invade his personal space. She could make up for it later.

"You can just sit here and rub my back some more, and pretend this isn't happening, okay?" That's what she was going to do. Minus the rubbing her own back part.

"Maybe I'll tell you what happened. I'm not sure I know though."

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[info]torden
2011-10-23 01:35 pm UTC (link)
James froze from the sudden contact but then, slowly, he draped his arms around her small frame. She seemed more delicate, sickly now that her skin had lost it's brightness and her hair...her hair was still falling to her shoulders and her scalp was becoming more and more visible. It twisted something deep within James, bringing up old memories of his sister when she was so tiny and so ill.

"But..." James attempted as he rubbed her back, drawing her close to him and wrapping his arms a little tighter around her body as if to protect her. "Are you...have you been sick? Not...not having hair...that's a norm for you? I promise I won't call the doctors unless you want them to be called. We can just sit here."

He brushed his hand over her shoulder, his fingers latching on to some of her hair and it pulling away easily. James could feel the color leaving his face. Maybe he should call Alex, maybe she would know what to do.

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[info]sifwheat
2011-10-23 11:06 pm UTC (link)
Lucy nodded, shaking loose more hair. It didn't matter anymore, she'd given up trying to make it stop. She didn't want to speak the words. Somehow, it seemed as if it would be less real, less tangible if she didn't say it. She couldn't not tell him though, not while she was going bald in his arms.

"I wear wigs." Normally, that was hard for her to say. However, she felt safe here. It was like being back in the elevator with his sister. There was a different sort of safety here. She had a sense of camaraderie with Alex, this felt entirely different and much more intimate.

She sniffled and hiccuped as her sobs began to reduce to gentle shuddering breaths.

"I don't like to talk about it."

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[info]torden
2011-10-24 12:10 pm UTC (link)
"Oh," James replied. Well then, that answered his question. Sort of. "All right then, we won't talk about it. We can just sit here."

Slowly, just in case Lucy felt uncomfortable and wanted to pull away, James pushed back into the couch. He kept his arms around Lucy, easily moving her back with him and frowning at the trail of hair that was being left behind. It wasn't so much that he'd have to clean it, nothing like that was bothering him, it was that she was losing it. Her beautiful blonde hair was dropping quickly and her ball, smooth scalp was quickly coming into view. It twisted something deep in James' gut. Memories of his sisters illness, surely, but he also felt broken, sad that she was so upset. And protective, so protective, he wanted to keep her safe from this pain.

"I'm sorry, Lucy," James murmured as he ran a hand up and down her back in an attempt to soothe her. "Is there anything else I can do? Just tell me and I'll do it."

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[info]sifwheat
2011-10-25 03:26 am UTC (link)
She shook her head. She had to talk about it. If he was going to sit here and be so patient while some crazy woman bawled into his shirt and shed her hair everywhere, he deserved to know.

"I have to talk about it. You're being so nice to me, I can't not tell you." She sat up, head away from his chest and hunched forward, wiping at her face with her sleeve.

"I had cancer. Twice. I just finished treatment the second time before I moved here. After the first round, my hair was never the same." It sounded shallow to be talking about how destroyed she was that her hair had never returned to what it once was.

She sighed and fingered a piece of hair in her lap. "But I had hair this morning. And my cheeks weren't sunken. I looked almost like I use to look. Not exactly the same. I looked different...but it was still me. I don't know how I knew that. But I looked better. I don't know how it happened. Or why this is happening."

An idea hit her like a punch to the gut and she looked up at him with horror stricken eyes. "You won't tell anyone, will you? Please don't tell!"

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[info]torden
2011-10-26 02:49 pm UTC (link)
"Oh," James replied softly. That would be why this entire situation reminded him so much of his younger sister. He squeezed his arms around her, trying to comfort her as best as he could, and blinked when Lucy looked at him. "Oh! I won't tell anyone, don't worry. Your secret is safe with me."

He tried to smile, tried to calm her, but he was unsure of what exactly should be done. He had just promised not to tell anyone but it was growing more apparent that asking his younger sister for help of handling the situation was somewhat needed.

"You know, my youngest sister had cancer," James said calmly was he ran his fingertips up and down Lucy's arm. "She was really little and really sick. It was hard." James let out a sigh and tried to think if any doctors ever talked about resurgences in health that only lasted for a few hours. He was young himself when Alex was sick and the majority of the doctors terminology hadn't made sense to him at the time. Back then, the only thing he had grasped was that he could help save his sister, and that was all he had needed to understand. "Maybe it's a good sign? If you're regaining some of your health, even if it's temporary, maybe that's a good sign of more to come? I think you still look beautiful though."

The comment surprised him, it escaped his lips with full honesty before he even realized it and it left him blinking. He did find her beautiful, with or without hair, he only fretted over how upset she was. But this wasn't normal, none of this, James had come to the realization that he was gay years ago and here this little former blonde was completely destroying everything he thought he understood.

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[info]sifwheat
2011-10-28 06:31 am UTC (link)
She breathed a sigh of relief when he told her he'd keep her secret. It seemed to be becoming a family secret on their end. She wondered how many other members of their family would end up knowing everything before all was said and done. What was it about them that she found so comfortable? She barely knew either of them, even though she felt like she did, and she'd blurted out her most guarded secret to both of them. Of course, this situation wasn't exactly the same as the one with Alex, but still, she felt okay telling him. She rarely felt comfortable talking about it with her family, being comfortable admitting it to someone she barely knew was unheard of.

His touch was very relaxing, and she sank back into him. She liked the little safe haven they had created here, even if the situation was less than ideal. "Alex told me about it when we were in the elevator. And I don't know what to think about the hair. I just hope it doesn't happen again. I don't think I could take watching it fall out again."

She didn't know how to respond to being called beautiful. Before she'd gotten sick she would have smiled brightly, flirted and carried on. Now she wasn't sure how to take it because she couldn't believe it. There was nothing about her that was beautiful right now. She was a sobbing, shedding mess.

"You don't have to say that."

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[info]torden
2011-10-28 12:55 pm UTC (link)
"No, I don't have to say it," James continued despite his confusion as to why he said it to begin with. He did find her attractive and, yes, even beautiful. But this was a rarity, something not common, he did not find women beautiful. But for Lucy, yes, she was beautiful.

"But I did say it and I stick to my words," James finished with a squeeze of his hand on her arm. He peeked at her, a thumb quickly going to her cheek to wipe away the tears that had gathered there. Gently (and as secretively as possible) he brushed at her fallen hair and put it with the rest out of sight. "Please, I know this is upsetting, but don't cry. At least, please don't cry that I saw this. Do you want anything? Do you want some water or tissues? Do you want something to put over your head?"

He recalled ensuring Alex had a hat on when she was ill. He hadn't wanted her to catch a chill while she had been so sick and that concern was growing steadily for Lucy. He just wanted to comfort and protect her. He wished, much as he had with Alex, that he could make her better. But he was sure that giving his bone marrow wouldn't necessarily make everything right with the world for Lucy. So all he could do was offer her anything, anything she needed at all.

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[info]sifwheat
2011-10-30 01:24 am UTC (link)
So he was being nice to her because he felt bad, that had to be it. How could anyone think she was beautiful with a splotchy, puffy, tear stained face and a patchy scalp? Looking like this caused people to look at her with pity most of the time. She didn't want pity from anyone, but especially from him. If only there was a way to go back in time and pretend this never happened. She wanted to go back to a time where he didn't realize she was weak and broken, where he thought she was just another normal person. That's all she wanted, was to be treated as a normal person, not someone who was watched for any sign of a sniffle.

"A bad would be nice." A nice, big bag that could hide her entire head. "You probably won't give me one though." No one ever did when she asked for one.

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[info]torden
2011-10-30 08:27 pm UTC (link)
"Stay here, I'll be back," James cooed. He sat up and leaned forward before he realized he was nearly going to kiss her. That caused him pause as he leaned back and got to his feet. Kissing her, how strange. Although again it wasn't that strange. He had kissed plenty of girls and it had all been meaningless but for Lucy, it was different, even though it had not happened yet James knew that a kiss with her would be different and more meaningful.

He slipped into his room and pulled back his closet door. On a shelf in the closet he had a few baseball caps and picked the one that had the least amount of sweat stains. He held it at arms length and tried to visualize Lucy wearing it. James figured it would be big on her, but she could adjust it however she would like.

Then he thought twice about it and went to his closet again to retrieve a hoodie displaying his college mascot on the front. It was big enough to fit him and would likely have Lucy swimming in it. Still, he figured she may feel more covered if she had the hoodie rather than the cap.

"Hey," James said as he walked back into his living room. "I got both of these, I don't know if you'd rather have one instead of the other. Your choice." He sat down beside Lucy and tried to smile at her. He wanted to comfort her and make her believe that this was all, oddly, completely okay with him but he wasn't sure what words would help this situation.

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[info]sifwheat
2011-10-30 09:20 pm UTC (link)
When he leaned toward her, her stomach knotted and her heart beat seemed to trip. Was he going to kiss her? Did she want him to kiss her? She didn't even have to think about that second question, of course she wanted him to kiss her. She hadn't really thought about it before or even really considered the idea, but she knew she wanted him to kiss her.

And then he pulled away. The knots in her stomach eased into lump of disappointment. Of course he wouldn't kiss her, what had she been thinking? He was gorgeous, he could have any girl he wanted, there's no reason for him to want someone that looked the way she did.

She gathered up any stray hair she could find, trying to clean up her mess while he was away. She'd have to go home and call a cleaning company to come in and clean his apartment for him. It's a pity she didn't have any sticky notes or she'd make a note of it.

When he returned and offered her her head coverings, she went straight for the hoodie. It offered her more protection than the hat would. She slipped it over her head, pulling the draw strings tight to cover her head. She felt like he was holding her again. It gave her that sense of security she had in his arms.

She gave him a weak smile. "Thank you. I...I should probably go now." No reason to make him put up with her any longer. She wanted to go home and hide from the world for a little while.

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[info]torden
2011-10-30 09:41 pm UTC (link)
James frowned briefly and got to his feet, offering his hand to her. "All right, if you want to. I'll walk you to my door at least."

He helped Lucy to her feet and managed a smile as they walked to the door. Opening it, he stepped to the side so that she could walk out as he fought against the urge to throw the door closed and keep her there. If she was in his sight he could protect her, right?

Still, he knew she wanted to go. "Keep the hoodie," James added. He reached for her arm, giving it a gentle squeeze, then decided that a gentle squeeze was certainly not enough. Stepping forward, he embraced Lucy, gathering her close and pressing her to his body. "I hope you feel better and I see you soon, Lucy."

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[info]sifwheat
2011-10-30 09:53 pm UTC (link)
She accepted his help and made her way to leave. He was being so kind. It was a pity things hadn't gone differently today.

"Thank you," she said, lifting her shoulders and shoving her hands into the pocket of the hoodie. There wasn't one specific thing she was thanking him for. If she took that route, they'd be there all day as she ran down the list of things he deserved to be thanked for. Really, he deserved more than just a mere thank you. Not everyone would have handled this the way he had. She didn't know if she had enough words to adequately express how grateful she felt though.

When he hugged her, the contact shocked her. It took a minute for her to remove her hands and return the embrace, her thin fingers clinging to his shirt once more. She wanted to stay there, hide here in his arms instead of beneath the covers, but that wouldn't be fair to him. He didn't deserve to have her taking up all his time.

She forced herself to break the embrace and gave him just a hint of a smile. "Bye James." She turned away from him and lowered her head, heading in the direction of the stairs. She was going to go home and wallow for a while. She wasn't going to take the hoodie off though.

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