I'm exhausted. And I feel like I've been hungover for a week. I guess that's what happens when you get drunk twice in three days. Or was it four? I'm not even gonna try to figure that one out.
I think I need a new phone. My screen is cracked. I might've...gotten thrown into a wall the other night. Which explains the screen cracking.
[Filtered to Faith] Look, I'm sorry about If you want to talk to me, I really can't stop I killed you. What's wrong with you? Why do you Uh. Have you seen...any vampires lately?
[Filtered to Kira] Hey, you talk to Jack lately?
[Filtered to Jo] I broke into your bar. Ask Cox if he found six hundred dollars because...I think I left it there.
[Filtered to Dean] You're a friggin jerk.
There are about fifty million viruses on my laptop thanks you to and Bustyasianbeauties.com.
[Filtered to Peter Petrelli & Hyperion] I just wanted to say thanks to you and yours for kicking all that apocalyptic ass out there. I really don't get in touch with anyone from the Hyperion unless my ass is on the line or something, so uh...I guess if you guys ever need any help with exorcisms or ghosts or whatever, just get in touch with me and my brother and we'll swing by and take care of it for you. We're usually not big team players since we've grown up working with just each other, but if there's anything that you all need I'm pretty sure I can convince Dean to help out.
[Filtered to Dad] So you remember that thing that you told Dean to do before you died? The secret you told him in the hospital that he kept from me for weeks after you passed on? I don't think that he's going to do it. I mean, I don't even know if I'm going to end up the way that you were afraid I would. You said I'd go darkside and...I've seen it, you know? I've felt it. But lately I've been thinking about it and I've decided that if I don't wanna go darkside? I'm not going to. Which is why I've stopped using these demonic abilities of mine. Cold turkey. You wouldn't know about that, would you? Last time you were around, it was just the visions. There's more. A lot more. So much more that I'm kind of afraid to look into it any further than I already have. I think I was getting there at one point, but now it's like...I'm curious, but I don't want to think about it. So I don't. Or I try not to.
I've been keeping busy. Working cases, entertaining Dean, holding over a girlfriend. I've gotta keep my mind off of that stuff. That's why I'm writing to you right now. We attacked each other all the time when you were alive, never told a damn thing to each other and now I'm sitting here. Writing this thing that you'll never get to read. It's going to you because I know that you'd be the go to guy if you were around. Dean's great, yeah, but I don't think that he's going to do more than look at me funny when I start talking about this stuff. He'd just be all, "just stop it, Sam, you're not gonna become a monster so shut up." It's what he does. Defense mechanism or something. I dunno. I think he's afraid to talk about it. Especially after all of that stuff that happened with Gordon. There aren't many hunters like us around here, but I think that he's worried that someone might get the wrong idea and try to come after me again. But there's a large variety of people hanging around here. Vampires, demons, God. Can you believe that? I know God. Or some version of a god. Not so sure on the details, but from what I've determined thus far...yeah. She's the real deal. Just like Lucifer was when I made that deal with him over Dean. He still doesn't know about it, you know. But I don't think that he needs to. He's here now, with Jo. And they're happy.
...Jo Harvelle, yeah. Ellen's kid. Don't even ask me about how that one happened, because it went over my head. Jo is cool though. Kinda scary when she's pissed. But cool.
Anyway. I just felt like writing to you. Makes me feel like a sixth grader with a school assignment or something. Write to a long lost relative! Tell them the story of your life! Thing of it is, me and you have the same story, don't we, Dad? Maybe that's why we never got along. You lost mom. I lost Jess. We both wanted revenge. I let it eat at me for a while. Thought I could get out. Now I'm out of school, stuck in this place where apocalypses come and go like the rain, and I'm so lost inside that I don't even know what to do with myself anymore. But I keep trying. Because that's what you taught us to do. You told us to keep fighting. So I am. I just hope that I keep fighting for the right side.