claire littleton. (lostaussie) wrote in paragraffiti, @ 2008-06-16 22:39:00 |
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Entry tags: | claire bennet (future), claire littleton, cordelia chase, seeley booth, veronica mars |
I hate it here. I liked it better when there were fewer people in the Hyperion, because I feel so bloody useless compared to everyone else now. I used to be able to help with stuff, but now there are all these people with abilities who do it. I hate not being able to do anything, and as nice as it is I hate the fact I'm the only one in the hotel who has someone assigned to look after them. I really want to leave. I don't think anyone would really care if I did. They'd just say they care because they're the "good guys" and they're supposed to say that kind of thing. Which really makes them bad, because they are liars right?
And I kind of want a boyfriend, even though I'm afraid he'll turn out to be a user and a "baby doesn't fit into my plans so I'm leaving you completely and utterly screwed" like Aaron's father. Honestly, what type of a asshole do you have to be to do that?! Are all men like that? My dad left when he realized a love child wouldn't work out with his career anymore, and my ex-boyfriend left when he realized that a baby would ruin his career too. Is that all you men care about!?
I didn't even want to have a baby. I wanted to have an abortion. And from what I did to my mum I didn't think I was suited for the job. But he convinced me that the baby would be good for us, and then he up and leaves me! So I was going to give up Aaron for adoption. But the family never turned up. I kind of hope my ex dies a painful lonely death.
I'm so frustrated with everything! I'd rather be stuck at home serving greasy fish and chips, and being hit on by toothy creeps for the rest of my miserable existence, then be here anymore.
I'm lonely too. Really lonely. The people I cared about are either gone or don't remember me. Everyone has someone but me and I hate it.
I also think I used to have a crush on Angel.
Why am I saying these things?! Oh God!