And you would be absolutely correct in assuming that you are anything but six feet under. Bravo. I do applaud you. Really.
I am afraid that I have no answerers to give you as to why you managed to show up where you did, or why you have appeared in all of your youthful glory.
But I did say nearly the same thing when I found myself here, and to my disgust, I still have not found who is responsible. So good luck with that.