The police obviously have far too much time on their hands, and I certainly can't imagine why, given the sort of nonsense that goes on around here.
My darling lovelies, I was approached today for having the audacity to smoke a cigarette out-of-doors. Isn't it just the absolute most? Of course, I told the officer that if he were a proper upright sort of lad he'd have seen the smoke and immediately taken actions to put me out. Did he want a case of spontaneous combustion on his hands?