winchester, sam. (ex_demonbloo908) wrote in paragraffiti, @ 2009-01-14 03:01:00 |
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Current mood: | numb |
Entry tags: | heather mason, lana lang (lexmas), sam winchester |
All right. Who left IT in my room? NOT on the movie list, guys. FRIGGIN CLOWNS.
[Ruby]
You're a demon. That has always been blatantly obvious. You've suggested doing things that I shouldn't be so surprised about, you've attemped to do things that I certainly wouldn't have found beyond you, and you've talked about things that you've done that I personally wouldn't care to hear about. However, despite it all, I started to believe in you, because you gave me that same kind of faith every damn day. I trusted you, I defended you against my family until my throat was hoarse and I couldn't even breathe anymore, and I did everything that you asked in order for us to take down Lilith, even though it scared the living hell out of me and brought out a side of me that I never wanted to see. Even though I had that nagging voice in the back of my head, begging for me to stay the hell away from you, I went against everything that I was taught and decided to trust you.
That was my mistake. I saw you as more than a demon. I thought you were above them. I considered you a friend. A close friend. One that I was able to turn to before even my own brother when I needed someone to talk to.
So I'm sorry for expecting more from you. And I'm sorry for getting too close. My anger was misdirected. I should have been furious with myself, not you. Because I'm the one who screwed up.
I won't keep you from my family. And I won't threaten your life anymore. But I don't think it's wise for us to spend any time with one another unless it's for strictly business reasons from now on. I don't want to make the mistake of getting close again. Not if it's going to have me reacting like I would if you were a good friend when I learn that you went around killing my allies.