InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "Hurt me, hurt me!"

Malia Tate | Teen Wolf (wantsherfurcoat) wrote in paradisolog,
@ 2016-04-25 12:23:00

Entry tags:

~isaac lahey (theprettybeta), ~malia tate (wantsherfurcoat)

WHO: Malia Tate and Isaac Lahey
WHAT: Anger, sadness, and feels
WHEN: This morning
WHERE: Isaac's shelter
WARNINGS: TBD
STATUS: Closed/Ongoing

When Malia had said she wanted to go home, that hadn't been pique or drama. She wanted to go home. She'd come here because she wanted to do good things, she wanted to make friends, and she wanted to be the start of something beautiful and new. None of that had happened. Instead, she was pregnant and an utter pariah. Everyone hated her. Or at least, it felt that way. She thought she was doing what everyone wanted when she disappeared into the woods this morning, but she'd been very, very wrong. It was just one more thing to add to a big list of fuck-ups. And her list of them was getting very, very impressive.

She hadn't expected Isaac to get so angry, but now that she thought about it, she understood why he had. Another fuck up. He was going to yell at her, and it was going to be the hardest thing she'd ever done not to yell back and escalate the fight. Her pride wanted her to do just that, to pick at his weak points and bring him down with her.

But that...wasn't the person she wanted to be. And he was right. She was the one in the wrong. She'd wronged him when she'd meant to do the opposite and if yelling at her made him feel better, then she needed to take it. She would take it.

So she sat on the bed, pulling one leg under her and running her hand over the quilt, anything to distract her troubled mind even a little. Malia had always had confidence. She'd always liked herself. But now...well, she didn't. She'd caused a huge mess and an even bigger one when she'd tried to fix it. This conversation with Isaac wasn't even going to be close to pleasant.

With a tired sigh, she brushed her hair out of her face, and waited for him to arrive.

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wantsherfurcoat
2016-04-28 02:31 am UTC (link)

Malia was tired, too. Tired of being wrong. Tired of being unable to open her mouth without hurting or offending someone. Tired of being sick. Tired of feeling like nothing she did was ever good enough. Tired of being alone, of having nobody to turn to. She'd slept with a lot of guys here, yeah, but in the end, nobody cared about her. Not really. Nobody.

None of them knew what it was like to be that alone. And worse, none of them cared. She didn't act the way they wanted her to (partially because she didn't know how). When Isaac put an arm around her, she tensed uncomfortably, and shrugged a little, although whether in response to his words or trying to shrug his arm off...it was hard to tell.

"I should sleep."

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theprettybeta
2016-04-28 03:49 am UTC (link)

Isaac looked over at Malia in surprise when she tried to shrug him off and he blinked once before letting his arm fall away, giving a huff of disbelief when she responded with a simple request to rest. She couldn't even tell him that she wouldn't run away again with the baby. He stared at her for another few seconds, as if giving her a chance to continue, but when she didn't he shook his head and he stood before wetting his lips and running a hand down his face once more.

"Alright," he responded simply. There was no point in arguing with her. Isaac knew that there was a difference between someone who was being purposefully obtuse and someone who truly didn't understand how to adjust. Most of the time, Malia was the second one. But sometimes she was the first, because although he understood that she had gone through life alone, Isaac had gone through life a victim. He didn't get to be alone. He never got to experience peace and quiet, it took a lot of work for him to even be able to be around other people without flinching every time they lifted a hand, but he did it because he tried. Sometimes it felt like Malia didn't even want to try.

"I'm going to go out and find you more ginger, alright?" His voice was calm and diplomatic as he bent down to pull his shoes back on. "Try to get some sleep. I'll see you when you wake up, I'll be here."

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wantsherfurcoat
2016-04-29 02:18 am UTC (link)

Malia knew that she was being horrible. She could feel it in every bit of her, and she hated it. She didn't want to be like this. She didn't want to fight with Isaac. But she was tired and sick and everything hurt, and...well, everything had just fallen apart lately, and she didn't know how to fix it.

She found herself wanting to apologize for her actions. She wanted to tell him that she didn't mean it, that she was sorry. But she couldn't make the words come, which only made her hate herself more.

"I - okay." She lowered her voice to a whisper that would have been inaudible to a human. "Thank you."

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