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Tweak says, "Wanna Bikkit!"

Malia Tate | Teen Wolf (wantsherfurcoat) wrote in paradisolog,
@ 2016-04-08 22:29:00

Entry tags:

~malia tate (wantsherfurcoat), ~mandy slade (divine_miss)

WHO: Malia Tate and OPEN
WHAT: being thinky
WHEN: Friday night
WHERE: On the outskirts of camp
WARNINGS TBD
STATUS: Open/Incomplete

Malia, despite what people thought of her, wasn't stupid. Neither was she cold, or heartless. She simply had different priorities - survival and her own well being being paramount. That, and the morality and social skills of a coyote. All the social conditioning young girls got in middle school and high school passed her by, and so much of it seemed strange, or went completely over her head.

Which meant, in combination with all the crap she'd been through, that Malia didn't have very many friends. Actually, back home she didn't have any. The people here from her future said that changed, but she wasn't sure exactly how, and that made her deeply sad. Because despite being different than most girls her age, she did have at least one thing in common with them - she didn't want to be alone.

And even though she's slept with two guys here already and even though she was pregnant with Isaac's kid...she felt so, so very alone.

She'd tried to explain to Isaac how she'd felt, but she'd made a mess of it. She wasn't in love with him or looking for romantic fripperies, she was just searching for a connection. With anyone. Just something to give her a reason to try being human. Because really? She had so much pain in her heart and no way to know how to express it. Her sister and mother's death would be forever reflected back to her in her eyes, but it was more than just that. Stiles didn't want her. He'd made that perfectly clear. And why should he when he had Lydia? Isaac was wonderfully kind to her and she wanted him as a friend, but he was so broken and ge'd been with Allison - another beautiful girl so utterly unlike her that she knew she could never compare.

And everyone else here seemed either frightened of her, or like they wanted to use her as the butt of a joke. They didn't see the girl inside who was desperately hurting and lonely, who simply yearned for a friend she could connect to. It was something she'd never had before and she was pretty sure she never would.

Because she'd promised Isaac, Malia hadn't left the camp, no matter how badly she'd wanted to. Instead, she was sitting with ge'd back to the fire, her knees pulled up, and her head resting on them as she gazed off into the dark nothingness of the forest.

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smileslie
2016-04-09 03:28 am UTC (link)

Mandy was surprised--depressingly so--that after something a bit longer than a week she was still alone here. She’d managed to scrape together her decade-old Girl Scouts skills enough to get a shelter that might keep most of the rain off if it ever came to that, and she felt fairly certain she wasn’t moments away from stumbling into a patch of poison ivy or a snake every day, but she was still alone.

She was trying valiantly to chalk that up to the fact that a great many of the populace here seemed to be a good half decade or more her junior, and while a few years ago that wouldn’t have seemed at all important (she knew she and Brian both had probably deflowered a great many people who weren’t technically legal yet in their few years in the spotlight), now it seemed...uncomfortable, at best.

But, despite the fact that she had been the one to storm out so theatrically (and that she and Brian hadn’t really been together for a good year prior), Mandy was still finding herself desperately lonely. Not just for that particular form of company, although that was desperately missed but what she’d convinced herself had been friendships--Angel and Mickey and all the rest who had practically evaporated when it all fell apart.

Although if anyone saw her wandering out tonight and asked why she was outside, she would have said she was a night person (which was true; one had to be, clubbing so much) and that she was still close to committing murder for a cigarette.

She hadn’t expected to see anyone though, and was startled out of her jumbled thoughts about just what the hell she’d been thinking in saying yes to what she should have thought was a bad trip when she noticed a girl sitting by the fire. She thought she recognised the face from that strange--network, that’s what they were calling it--as one of the ones who was quite fond of talking about sex. And had already gotten knocked up. Well, it was her body, Mandy definitely couldn’t judge there without looking quite horrible herself. And it wasn’t like there were terribly many women really talking about sex here, so that alone put her up several notches in Mandy’s book.

“Hey,” she cleared her throat, hoping she wouldn’t be intruding. “Is this---seat taken?” She said, waving to the ground about them. She knew the girl’s man had to be around, and she really didn’t want to be privy to any of that sort of drama--she still had enough of her own without the bloody Demon actually being there in person.

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wantsherfurcoat
2016-04-09 03:37 am UTC (link)

If Malia could have heard Mandy's thoughts, she would have quickly told her that Isaac was not her man. He was her friend, maybe, and the father of her baby, but that was it. And she's chosen him not for love but because she found him attractive and he seemed like he would be a good provider for her while she was pregnant. To be honest, they weren't even very close friends, although she hoped that would change in time.

When the woman sat down next to her, she shrugged, stretching out her legs in front of her and putting a hand on her own stomach curiously. She didn't look any different of feel any different, but there was a baby in there and that was...more than mildly terrifying. She hoped she hadn't made a terrible mistake.

"No, not taken," she said, "Sit if you want."

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smileslie
2016-04-10 11:06 pm UTC (link)

Mandy noticed the way Malia’s hand moved, but quickly looked away and didn’t comment. She knew that gesture better than she would have liked. But she’d been smart enough to know that would have been a horrible idea even for her at the time.

“Thanks,” she said, carefully, sighing as she stretched out herself. “You’re--Malia, right? The...coyote--person?” She hoped she wasn’t bungling that. It was strange, to be in a place where people calling themselves aliens and werewolves or what the hell ever weren’t just blitzed out of their minds. “I suppose you’re making a much better of things than some of us right now, hmm?” Or at least, not feeling totally fucking lost.

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wantsherfurcoat
2016-04-16 03:26 pm UTC (link)

"Werecoyote," Malia replied, a bit annoyed that she didn't know that. But then she realized that she shouldn't be annoyed. It wasn't like they were even really out in Malia's world.

She shrugged.

"I don't know. I'm pretty lost here too." Which was ridiculous, since most of Beacon Hills seemed to be here, and it was pretty much the same time as it was back home. "And pregnant."

She wasn't sure why she'd decided to get pregnant so fast. But that was why they were here, sooo...she couldn't be that upset about it.

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smileslie
2016-04-16 04:37 pm UTC (link)

"Right, sorry," and that was actually sincere--despite her sometimes-public mockery of such things, Mandy knew how important labels could be to people. After all, if someone had ever had the audacity to call her straight, even before Brian had kicked down the closet door, she would have been terribly cross.

She tilted her head curiously, "Well, I can understand how the being pregnant bit could throw one for a loop. Even if things weren't being helped along by a goddess, it seems it can't help making things a bit complicated. But--don't you have...people here?" Hopefully that was the right word, still. She hadn't been able to keep up with everything--the strange chattering that whipped across the bracelet was more dizzying in a day than a week with Brian. She realised that just because you had 'people' didn't mean you had any sort of support, but still. It seemed reasonable that people who weren't precisley human should do a good job sticking together, right?

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wantsherfurcoat
2016-04-16 05:59 pm UTC (link)

Did she have people here? No, not really. Sure, she and Isaac were having a kid and they were becoming friends, and Lydia seemed nice, but none of them really knew her, and she didn't know them.

She had people from home, but Malia really didn't have people anywhere. Not even back home. She was pretty alone in the world, really.

"No. Not really," she said softly. "I mean, maybe someday. But nobody here really knows me. They don't understand why I feel the way I feel."

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smileslie
2016-04-16 11:42 pm UTC (link)

Once upon a time, Mandy might have rolled her eyes a such a cliché statement. But now...well, it was still cliché, but she understood the feeling still being quite real. After all, that was a good part of why she wasn’t trying to go on proper dates back home. How could anyone understand what she’d lived, let alone understand why she’d gotten out the way she had.

“And let me guess, trying to explain it hasn’t gone spectacularly?” she smiled ruefully. “I’ve been there more times than I care to count. Incredibly different circumstances I’m sure, mostly because I’ve been talking to people paid to listen, but I know what it’s like. Sort of.” She waved vaguely, huffing,

“Or, I’m just trying this--sympathetic ear business for the first time in literally years and am probably sounding like a complete twat. Take your pick, but,” she shrugged, “I’ve not really got anything or anyone else to be doing at the moment, so. If you’d like, I’m all ears.”

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wantsherfurcoat
2016-04-17 12:05 am UTC (link)

"I don't..." She sighed, defeated. "Words are hard."

So very hard. She hadn't used them for so long, and now she was trying to use them for complex subjects like feelings.

"I guess..." She paused, then just let it out, deciding that maybe if she talked enough, she'd be able to get close to the truth. Maybe?

"See, I'm pregnant. And I'm excited about it. I mean, maybe I shouldn't be, but I wanted this and I want to help Arva and all that, so it's all great, right? But at the same time I don't know who I can talk to about...well, the way I'm feeling. Not about the baby but...I mean, I really want to be its father's friend, but I don't think he trusts me. Nobody trusts me. Nobody knows me. Or they think I'm weird because I'm not very good at being human yet."

She reached up and ran a hand through her dark blonde hair.

"I don't know how to make people not be afraid of me. Or think I'm a freak. And I mean, I don't want to completely. I don't want them to think I'm soft and fuzzy. I just want them to know that I can be nice too. If they earn it."

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smileslie
2016-04-17 05:16 pm UTC (link)

Most people, Mandy thought, probably would have found it abstemiously bizarre to be listening to someone talk about not knowing how to be human. But she'd lived with someone who had sometimes been positively convinced he was an alien messiah, and she'd humored it all with smiles and nods, so hearing it from someone who wasn't high as a fucking kite--well, it was odd, but it was actually comparably easy not to crack up.

"It would seem to me," she said carefully, leaning her arms against her legs and peering at Malia, "that the simplest route would be to possibly be nice to people before they've earned it, so they know it's possible. Now, that's much easier said than done. Believe me," she laughed a bit, "I've been human my entire life, and I had to be very nice to people who definitely hadn't earned it to keep my life going, and I found it very trying more often than not." How often had she just wanted to strangle Shannon, or at least throw her out because the girl knew nothing and had taken what was the closest thing she'd had to a job as well as helping her lose her husband? But she'd smiled and welcomed the girl and called her 'luv' just because the show had to go on.

"But sometimes, faking it, or at least trying to fake it, makes actually doing it quite a lot easier. And that goes for a lot of things." What? Just because she was jaded as fuck didn't mean Mandy wasn't going to slip in a double entendre whenever she got the chance.

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wantsherfurcoat
2016-04-17 06:30 pm UTC (link)

Malia looked at her like she'd lost her mind.

She wasn't about to be nice to people who didn't deserve it. It wasn't who she was. It wasn't what she did. She was pretty much the type to believe that everyone sucked and everyone wanted to hurt her until they took the time to convince her otherwise.

"So...basically I'm supposed to do all the work, change everything about who I am, and then they'll like me?"

Because that? That sucked.

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