Jo Harvelle (knivesandreo) wrote in parabolical, @ 2008-09-04 16:34:00 |
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Entry tags: | dean winchester, jo harvelle |
Who: Dean, Jo
Where: The boys' motel room
When: Backdated, right after this
Rating: Angst, language probable, not safe for the kiddies
When they got back to Dean and Sam's motel room there wasn't even a question about her going back to her own. Instead she followed Dean in, a swift kick at the door to shut it behind them, and maybe just a little bit for the satisfying slamming sound. She moved to the small kitchenette and not even bothering to find glasses she grabbed the first bottle of something she saw lying around. Jo took it to the bed closest and sunk down onto the edge of it.
She could feel the edges of her world start to cave in again, a creeping darkness coming up for her and she felt as though she was standing on some cliff, staring down at the emptiness that had dictated her life for just over a year. She didn't want that. She refused to be that again. And so she didn't go home. If asked she'd lie and say she didn't want to leave Dean alone, well not lie that was a concern as well. But she knew if he left her alone it would be just as bad. She didn't want to hate Kira but the anger at it all was overwhelming. The anger was what scared her, she'd spent so long being angry at everyone and everything and it had been a hell of hole to crawl her way out of. She couldn't, and didn't want to, do this on her own anymore. So she would stay.
She brought the bottle to her lips and took a long drink. She couldn't even begin to imagine what it was like for Dean if her own heart felt shattered to a million pieces. While she wasn't as vocal as Kira about claiming herself into this family to suggest she felt less would be an insult. Sam was family by choice rather than blood and three times to see him like this was three times too many. But Sam was everything to Dean. If it felt like the end of the world for her how bad could it be for him. As though remembering for the first time since they got back that she wasn't alone she glanced up to find Dean.