Jenny Thornton (hislight) wrote in parabolical, @ 2008-08-06 20:06:00 |
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Entry tags: | jenny thornton, julian |
Who :: Jenny and Julian
What ::Dreaming
Where :: Jenny's Dream
When :: Tonight
Rating :: TBD
Status :: Ongoing
Tossing her keys on the table in the foyer, Jenny turned to lock her doors, then headed straight for her bedroom. Stepping out of her shoes in the hall, she let purse and coat land in the doorway to her master suite before turning and flopping down on the bed, uncaring of any wrinkles that might crease the black silk wrap dress she wore.
Tonight had been a disaster.
Staring up at the ceiling, painted as an azure sky with white cumulus clouds, Jenny tried to keep the embarrassing events from replaying. She loved Tom, she truly did, but ... as cliche as it sounded, she wasn't in love with him. There was no chemistry. Nothing. Just the feeling of safety and security in knowing that he would always be there.
Catching her lip between her teeth, she shook her head. No, she hadn't expected this. The restaurant should have given it away- a pricey Italian place that Tom insisted on paying for. The fresh roses entwining the railing of the exclusive balcony on which they were the only diners.
And then- oh and then the little velvet box. Dread had filled her stomach and she knew, just knew that this would change everything.
"I love you, Jenny, I have ever since that day in second grade when we kissed behind the rose bushes.." He'd said. And she knew that if he stopped there, if he would please stop there that everything would be all right.
But he hadn't.
Tom had taken her hand in one of his, holding the ridiculously large diamond ring in the other, "Will you marry me?" he asked, the words more deadly to their relationship than a knife. Maybe- maybe it wouldn't have ended so badly if he hadn't put his fingers around the small, gold poesy circlet she already wore and began to slide it off.
She'd snatched her hand back as if his touch burned, adjusting the ring, that gold ring bearing the words I am my only Master on the inside, so they would touch her skin. "NO," she'd said more loud and abruptly than she'd meant. Then, "No," in a softer tone.
The rest of dinner had been painfully awkward. She told him that she needed time. Specifically, time away from him. He had been so good not to say it, not to speak aloud what old pain his eyes held. And she loved him for it.
Tears spilled hot down her eyes, why? He'd died for her and Jenny was so ungrateful that she was throwing it away. Throwing Tom and their relationship away on what? ... a dream.
"Julian," she said aloud, voice a reverent whisper. Then cried in gasping sobs for Tom, for Julian and even for herself until sleep finally took her.