13 November 2003 • The Wizarding World's Beguiling Broadsheet of Choice • 5 κ
'LIVING INFERI' INVADE HOGSMEADE, DIAGON ALLEY, MINISTRY OF MAGIC
By Betty Brathwaite
LONDON - At approximately 11 AM, the three most populous centers of the magical community (Diagon Alley, Hogsmeade, and the Ministry of Magic) were invaded by beings that have been dubbed living inferi. These beings - whose bodies still live but whose minds are vacant - have been discovered to be the reanimated bodies of those who have been given the Dementor's Kiss.
Myriam Brandybuck, healer in charge of the Bill Noggins Ward for the care of the Kissed, reported that she had been rendered unconscious early in the morning, and had not awoken until afternoon. Upon discovering the absence of bodies in the ward, she immediately reported to the Ministry.
The Ministry, however, had at this point already been invaded, and most of the staff had been occupied with the current situation. In fact, DMLE staff were so occupied that reinforcements were called in the form of guards from Azkaban.
At the time of printing, most of the living inferi have been captured, but citizens are to remain cautious for the few stragglers that remain wreaking havok. The worst of the invasion, however, is over, and all that is left is to sift through the wreckage, rebuild, and take account of all loved ones to ensure that none are still missing.