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CHAMBERS, samara b. (tracelines) wrote in pandorarpg,

She didn't like that word. It was a very heavy word and it was not one that she would like to apply to this situation, or any for that matter. Because if that came up now, what might happen if her own secrets were revealed at some point—would that be considered a betrayal? She didn't want to think about that. "Then why didn't you just tell me, Eli? The first night we had them, you knew that they were the same?" It wasn't necessarily a question, because knowing her husband, he had probably figured it out that first night, even with the small amount of information she'd given him about her own nightmare. "So you're already researching it, yeah? So what's with all the sodding secrecy? This isn't Ministry sanctioned work, Eli, you have no reason not to tell me about it. This affects our family, it's putting us and our son in danger."

What had she been doing? She'd been losing her mind, it felt like. She'd been trying to hold herself together before she fell to pieces and could not get them back together again. She had some ideas in her mind, some contingency plans, but she did not know if she would - or even could - put them into action if events called for it. She just did not hope it got that far. "What exactly have you been expecting me to do, Eli? I've been trying to keep it together for our son, which is bloody difficult when I keep dreaming about killing children every other night! If something doesn't change soon, he may very well be without both of his parents!" Truly she had not been that worried about the prospect of dying herself, but the thought of Jason losing both of his parents broke her heart.